Phuket Town Karaokes and Coffee Houses.

[Syd Barrett]

This is by no means any attempt at a definitive lowdown on the subject above, just a brief glimpse of what I saw last night told in a narrative style.

I got a call from a friend Spike ( Phuket renowned for his Spikey Dog sausages) yesterday afternoon, asking if I was interested in conveying a group of fellows into some Phuket Town Karaoke Houses for the evening.
Normally, I conduct pub crawls of the bars of Rawai and Nai Harn on the Southern end of the island , and know the destinations well, but the request picqued my interest , but alarm bells rang as well.
I said , " Spike, you are as aware as I am that some of these places are intensely local, and are not without danger from some young drunken Thai hothead deciding to make big face by picking on a falang , aren't you.."
Spike said ."Yeh, but Keith from Keiths Karaoke in Kathu is organizing the crew, he knows more than most, and besides, 'Lerd' is coming along."
Me, " Lerd?"
"Oh you havent met Lerd? Hes a Thai head detective, hes a really good bloke, and loves getting on it with Keith, he's coming along and acting as security, well, um interpreter. Hes a good bloke to know as well."

Fears allayed I got to Keiths at 8.30pm. All the blokes were English, mainly of the North, and the mixture of accents and terms made me think of the Thais themselves and their dialects. They'd had a few drinks as well , and I really had to tune my ear to keep up with all the cracks and jokes that peppered their banter. Nice blokes but, I'd met a few before as well.
Keith himself is from Manchester , but hates Man U. He fired up the karaoke and ran thru 3 Thai songs he actually sang in Thai and declared us ready. Unfortunately the heavens opened, so the boys carried on with their beers with ice...
A smiling Thai of about 40, and well built, bounded in slightly wet, and introduced himself as Lerd. Shook hands. He had one beer with the blokes and decided we should get going.
He jumped into the front with me and I heard a clatter in the glovebox as I was reversing. I looked across, wondering if I'd hit something in the dark.

He said, " Sorry, sorry that was my gun. If Im get maow ( drunk) and forget , can you remind me about my gun when we come back please?"
This was going to be an interesting night...

He directed me as I drove along , the directions being totally different as to where Keith had described. He was a nervous passenger and said, " Sorry, Im always drive myself. Some young Police drive very clazy bad, and I see many accident for my work..."
He was based off the island, and I asked if , becuse that place had a large Muslim population, that he verified was 40%, that it was a peaceful post in that alcohol related violence was more limited .
He said, " It is more quiet than Patong, yes, but the young people have no book ( Koran) against Crystal Met and the man still are hitting the lady ( spousal abuse) and have big arguing about the land ( boundary disputes). Im sorry, my English is not good"
But it was fine and he was a a real gentleman and quite informative. mature as well, so we talked about language and work while I drove along.
We arrived at a hodge podge gaudily lit building and went inside. The place was big and easily could sit a hundred people on '80s style blue vinyl lounges on a bare concrete floor.
But it was empty bar a lone spot lit Thai girl , singing away in white frock and thigh high white leather boots.
Keith lead the way to a shabby a/c room with a Karaoke machine, and c.c. TV of the girl singing out front.
The boys sipped their beers with ice, and cracked jokes. 2 Thai girls came and set up the machine and they all sat around. Another unattractive girl came in and sat on one of the lads knee. Then another. It was quite boring except for the banter.
Keith finally announced, " The boss of this place ( Noon Karaoke) promised me a room full of naked dancers, that aint gonna happen by the looks...c'mon , less have a song then."
The girls set him up with a tune, and he belted it out in pretty good Thai with a Manchester accent, and before long there were a dozen Thais all at the door, looking surprised and laughing out loud.
I couldnt see Lerd, he was flat out on a lounge , laughing till he had tears in his eyes.
It was certainly loud.
He sang another and all the staff that were now at the door , or on blokes knees cheering again and clapping.
But Lerd had ordered the bin, saying there were plenty more places, but being Thursday night, many would be quiet.
Everyone only had 1000 baht notes when the bin came at 1650, which seemed a bit high to me, so the lads volunteered me , as the sober one, to hold a 'kitty' of 1,000 each, and pay from that.Lerd announced he'd only brought 800 apologetically but Keith and I said ,"Mai plu" ( South thai for "no problem") at the same time,and he nodded graciously.
The next spot was a very modern , smaller disco looking place with a Chinese boss and about 8 very attractive Thai girls there, but Lerd descided we should move on, and we drove a block or so on to the next venue, called Buddys Coffee Lounge.
I reversed the car into a tight spot with Lerd nervously gripping the dash. The boys jumped out and Lerd looked at me and said, " You have very good eye, you drive car very straight and careful all the time and not go over ( indicating the centre). Im not worry anymore."
Inside Buddys it was quite different. There were about 25 dancers and it turned out they could all sing.
As I had my first beer and ice with the boys ( only large bottles) we discussed the merits of adding ice or not. Most had set out the same as me, declaring ice in beer a travesty, but the older hands asserting that the rehydrating property if the water negated hangovers immensely. Didnt matter, the staff added ice and beer to your glass religiously, so you couldnt really measure how many beers you had.
All the dancers gathered on the podium and many were very tidy. Some of the lads eyes glistened. The girls commenced a simple dance routine and Joe next to me, knowing I had a bit of thai, asked me to ask the waitress if he could buy one of the dancers a drink.
I did so, but got a convoluted reply about buying a 'Lei' and that the prices varied for the ladies, some were 200, some 300 and some 400 baht. There was even a 1000 baht one if we wanted to show a special appreciation for them as they each had a turn at singing. I said i didnt really understand, and was telling Joe, when one of the 'male' singers , came over and explained the ritual, as this was really a Thai ritual in the sense that everybody could figure out or assume what the end game was all about but still had to jump thru the hoops, in perfect English.
Lerd had done the same over the other side of the table, and Gary picked a girl in red, now at the mike and crooning very well. She was over the moon ( really!) when she got her 200 baht 'lei' and all the other girls clapped her. They honestly looked to be having a great time. Keith sent up another and same same, then Joe one as well. All cost 200 baht, I dont know why.
With their set complete, the girls with flowers came and sat with the donors. Actually an extra one came and sat with me and Alan, we dont know why. Alan suggested it may be a case of buy 3 get 4 , and laughed. The girl was pretty and had no English.
She was from Roiet, and explained to me that the house needed girls from different areas, so they could sing songs in different dialects and styles, and could also do requests from customers of varying areas..
We were to see this as the ladies came and went to the seforum.xxxe and sang, some in the high falsettoes that were almost Chinese in sound from around Chiang Mai, some in the earthy 'Country' tunes of the Issan...Modern pretty young girls doing Bangkok pop ( Ishy ishy etc)
This was a far cry from the first place, and very entertaining. There were a few tables at the dimly lit back, Thai men with their Mia Nois ( little or 2nd wives) I believe, and a group of 4 young Japanese, one of whom paid the 1000 baht I learnt was the price for the priviledge to get up and sing. He was shy in a Japanese kind of way , but an excellent singer.
Keith wasnt having none of that. Gary sent up another 200 baht 'lei' to his girl when she sang, but a 1000 baht lei arrived first, so the waitress returned his money and took away the flowers while he sat looking puzzled!! The boys thought it hilarious when I announced he'd been 'gazumped'....
At no time was anything 'other' mentioned by anyone, tho clearly the place was a vehicle for later activities...then suddenly it was 1.30am and Lerd was calling for the bin ( bill).
The total was 1800 for an awful lot of beer and the boys approved a payment of 2000 for our more than a couple of happy hours. The singers stayed firmly at their table and waived goodbye.
Lerd is apparently a 4 drink wonder and reclined lazily on the drive back, muttering, " You have good eye", and "You own man but you strong , Thai man same age cannot" and stuff like that.
Kathu was in darkness with a power oueforum.xxxe when the boys got out for a nightcap at Keiths, I reminded Lerd not to forget his gun which I thought he was going to, then Gary reminded me not to drive off with the kitty, which I was nearly going to.

I have been here near 3 years and never ventured into any of these places before.
Depending on the vibe I would certainly go again.
Im wondering if many BMs have tried out Karaokes and or Coffee Shops while staying in Thailand?

 

[Away With The Fairies]

Top read.
Get John out there in December!

 

[Gabby Jolene]

Good insight our kid. I must admit that I've only every been out of circumstance (i.e. unless you were willing to sit in an empty hotel bar in Surat Thani or Ranong then they were the only places to head to, unless it was another hotel with people in it!) or taken along by someone who is well known there with you as a guest and 'accepted' for the time you are there as long as you are spending money......if that makes sense.

The few times I have been with Nicke and Ead in Patong have been enjoyable but I wouldn't have gone there if it wasn't for them. Plenty of other places I feel welcome as opposed to the bloke in the wrong bar.....at the wrong time.

Travelling is about experiencing these things and getting to know the locals in my opinion and I am all for that.....But, again, in my experience of these places, they are for the Thais, bust, you have your bars, we have ours etc.....and that my visit has been more tolerated rather than accepted, get his money then show him to the door......I may have been doing something wrong, I don't know....maybe my singing really is that bad! 55555

Heading back through Thalang, Pak Lok, Cherntalay or up around the airport which aren't that 'touristy' late at night and seeing all these places open at 3/4/5 am, all looking dingy with the christmas tree lights twinking away just have me thinking....'That's Thai, they don't want me in there' and have never had the urge to stop and have a quick cold one.

I must admit the ones in Kamalala were fun when they were open and you didn't get pickpocketed on the way there! 55555 But there was always the line of blokes at the back watching you, I always felt it, never comfortable watching the bloke on holiday with the girls all over him, pushing notes into her bra or down her panties as these guys looked on. If I am going out for a good time and spending money then I'd rather be somewhere where they want me to be to be, not looking over my shoulder or relaxing into it a bit because there's a bloke along with a side arm....Being honest with myself.

The bouncers (I use the term loosely) at the 'Pub' Karaoke in Kamala when it was opened had no qualms in flashing their guns to me when I popped out for a smoke. So I guess if I had someone with a weapon with me and it kicked off, he wouldn't be the only one doing some shooting!

Of course the girls will gladly take a 1000 off you if the potential is 300 for doing the same thing with one of the Thai punters there. Bloody dual pricing again! 555555

Sounds like the girls have all the same same 'buzz' words for the customer as any girl in a touristy orientated bar. "Thai man this, Thai man that, my life soooo bad, they noooo good etc" - We've all heard it a thousand times.

Plus there's the singing! 55555 Does my head in unless it is a Thai girl who can actually sing! I've put a picture of someone some people may know who can sing! As can Ead. I've been known to sing a mean "Gleen Gleen Glass of Lome" now and again.

Good insight though Dean, but Phuket Town's Thai Karaoke Bars aren't high on my agenda of a relaxing night out! Not to say they shouldn't be experienced perhaps! But there's other places I'd rather be getting on with! 555555

Over to others.......

 

[Pompal 09.]

Good read MC a little daunting going to those style of places and agree with Denver not done lightly.
Have in BKK with Wabbits crew in tow thats different.
I always have a great time and have everyone in stitches as i sing Well Thai songs.(the well bit is a lie)

 

[tay lew]

i go to the thai disco alot with my wife and her friends when we are at village
i really enjoy it but i do have the feeling even when the odd thia guy is coming up and engaging us, he is sort of taking the piss
i am polite to them but let the thai's deal with it and sort of move away

but i really do enjoy the cover bands, then breaks for regular music

 

[Nicole_x]

Great read Mai Chob.........and great insight Denver.

Went into a place in Udon Thani where we were the minority but never felt uncomfortable.
The place next door however seemed way more "local Thai" so we didn't go in. As Denver says....sometimes better just to go where we are expected......or accepted.

 

[Penguinfruit]

we used to end up in karaoke bars mid morning after being dumped out of safari and Black Box in the sunshine....we'd all pile in a tuk tuk and head down the hill to one of several places behind Ratty rd

I distinctly remember sort of coming around one morning and looking down and there was a girl on the floor under the table licking my lollipop.....and my mate across from me was singing Moon River into the mike like he really meant it...I looked across at him with this huge grin on his face and realised that he too had a girl under the takle lapping away....surreal moments

 

[bigdon49245]

been to the same ones as Nels on Soi Tan i think they are.. Come out to the sun shining in my eyes feeling like a massive junky... But its alt of fun..

Across Safari there is a Bar/Club sort of place where it was full of Thai's there and they had bands and everyone was dancing.. I went with Thai mate Alex and all his mates and our staff from our bar.. We got a table and bought god knows how many bottles of Black and had a really fun night.. Not sure i would have went there with only me and my ferang mates though..

Havnt got the guts to venture out into Phuket Town unless i got MC's mate with his little mate Rosco around then ill go...555

 

[MatthewM]

I went to some of the karaoke`s in soi tan a few times some years back.
My GF at the time lived just up from them and liked going.
I can remember there always being trouble with the locals,especially in the wee small hours/sun coming up.
Always fights out the front of there and the occasional shooting.....not my cup of tea :

 

[smoney77]

I'm not knocking the places but as I said before and a bit of exploration is a good thing.

However, I still think the Phuket Town Bars are for the Thai's and quite happy to leave it that way when they have gone to the bother of putting Patong there for us Johnny Foreigners to play in! 555555

Plus, if I did take a girl from one of them............Bloody long walk she's got the next morning!

 

[Peter File]

I'm still wondering why the Pommie guys wanted to go there in the first place. When for the money they were throwing around they could have had a top time in Patong. Did they want to get into a bit of trouble?

 

[gigi]

the grass is always greener on the other side of the hill 555

 

[jomonjimmy]

Well one owned a small Karaoke in Kathu, a few , including Keith had done the Rawai Run before, and since they had Lerd and knew there'd be no trouble with him around they thought it'd be different, and it was.
I woulda paid them for the chance to go and have a look see.
I will add that we were made welcome and didnt see or feel any trouble as this was a quiet Thursday night.
Lerd felt comfortable enough to leave his gun in the car.

Another ob was that the tgs that got flowers and therefore came over, didnt order lady drinks, they shared the beer and ice...maybe thats why they wander off after 20 mins or so...
None made anything explicit like 'come with you ' etc

 

[FPB]

Oh ok, I wasn't having a go at them for going .I just didnt understand why they would want to go, but I supose they looked at as an adventure and had a good time. So good on em.

 

[Idle Chitchat]

Well now I'm living with a Philippino I understand what is meant by "Karaoke" as every Philo house seems to have one connected to their TV, and at every party they always come out with everyone expected to take a turn.

I have to admit my singing voice is bloody crappy but actually sounds good compared with some of the renditions so, as you can tell, most of them are "very" bad .....55555

 

[POTUS]

Replied in the ramblings..



When we were up in Samuk Songkhram there was a huge country and western themed roadhouse on the edge of town, it was the local whoop it up nightspot and the local village lads (who seemed pretty genuine with me) were around and it was suggested we all go out..

So Bee was all for it, then her cousin showed her a knife wound from the bar, and one of the other lads had a small (claimed) bullet scar, and another had been bottled over the head.. They all had one scar or another all from the place.. Bee then changed tune and decided it wasnt worth going.

 

[CAROLE]

Nothing wrong with having a look see in Phuket Town, as long as you know you'll get no extras and Patong is just over the hill.

 

[Apocalypse Cow]

I never thought Phuket Town was that daunting for Farangs that live here. Although I am Thai but I never grew up in Thailand, I obviously don't feel out of place in bars in Phuket Town. I also have a lot of Farang friends that live here that visit these bars which never felt unwelcome. I guess it's a bit surprising for me to read this is because you see Farangs everywhere in Phuket.

Unless you guys are talking about the really really local bars where it's all tinted windows and Christmas tree lights outside then it's a whole different story. Most average local Thais don't even go to these places!!

 

[heather123]

Interesting insight HKTB.
Where exactly did you grow up? if you don`t mind me asking.

 

[marshell]

Loop, i grew up everywhere but Phuket, although i was born here. Been in Malaysia, Singapore, Hong Kong, and for 10 years before moving back to Phuket i was in Vancouver, Canada.

I just never thought a Farang would feel that out of place in Phuket Town. Some of my local joints have Farangs regularly although they are the minority but I don't think they feel THAT out of place or unwelcome as everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. It cant be that bad for Farangs cuz the last time I was out some Farang guy at the next table had the audacity to chat up my bird!!! just kidding. It was fine!!

Again I'm just talking about regular bars in town and not the Christmas light type. I'm sure some of you locals know of the bar Kor Tor Mor in Phuket Town and this place is
just packed to the brim on weekends with young Thais (I've had to stand in the toilet once or twice so people can move through.) Shootings are also a regular occurrence here so they'll have to shut down for a few weeks but never seem to have any
problems reopening and packing it full with people again!! But recently I've been noticing a few tables of Farangs in there. So things must be changing!