Puns....

[Lauren F]

• Energizer Bunny arrested; charged with battery.
• A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
• A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
• Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
• Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
• Practice safe eating: always use condiments.
• Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
• I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
• I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
• If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
• A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
• Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
• A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
• Without geometry, life is pointless.
• When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
• Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
• When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I