Quotes About Marriage

[Tyler Durden]

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." - Henny Youngman.
"Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair
kit." - Billy Connolly.
"A woman asked her husband to go to the video store and get 'Scent of a
Woman'. Her husband came back with a 'Fish Called Wanda'."
"There's only two things about me that my wife doesn't care for:
1) everything I say, and
2) everything I do."
"Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't ?
Bachelors go to the reReviewigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed.
Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the
reReviewigerator."
"Q: Why do men usually die before their wives ?
A: Because they want to."
"A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married
?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying".
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of AReviewica a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her ?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."
"They say that breaking up is hard to do - but it's much easier with a
restraining order and a Rottweiler." - Dakota Shepard.
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was
too late."
mpter a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I
married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
"Make love, not war. I'm married, I do both."
"Bigamy ? It's having one wife too much...
...Monogamy ? It's the same." - Oscar Wilde.
"Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener !"
"My husband and I married for better or worse - He couldn't do better and I
couldn't do worse."
"You never truly know a woman 'til you meet her in court."
"Life is a bitch, then you marry one."
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney
Dangerfield.
"A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished." -
Zsa Zsa Gabor.
"I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your
own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own funeral because it hasn't
happened. But weddings always make me cry." - Brendan Behan (1923-64) Irish
playwright.
"Ah, yes, 'divorce'. Reviewom the Latin for 'having your genitals torn off
through your wallet'." - Robin Williams.
"My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state
troopers and a dog." "Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy ?
A: Two Mothers-in-laws."

 

[darkness234]

and of course there is the famous exchange between Winston Churchill and Lady Nancy Astor about marriage

"Winston, if I were your wife I'd put poison in your coffee." Whereupon Winston said, "Nancy, if I were your husband I'd drink it."