Random shit I've recently been thinking about

[Jonny]

No point to this post really, none at all.

1) Getting laid has never been easier. I just can't understand how any man has problems finding a civilian woman and getting laid. I just don't get freaking get it. Okay, so some people prefer escorts for various reasons, I get that, but I just can't wrap my head around not being able to get laid in the 'real' world. Today I went to the 'Woman Show' at the International Center with my SO. I was wearing jeans, a hoodie, bandanna, sporting a full beard and bald head, and I was getting hit on so much my SO was starting to get pissed. I was like the 'ideal husband', just for being there and carrying a few bags. I'm going next year for sure. 5,000 women, 5 men. I like those odds.

2) The world is fucked up. I have no doubts in my mind that within the next hundred years we will either be in another 'dark ages', or be ruled by a completely totalitarian state.

3) Check your balls regularly for lumps and growths. Just had the scare of my life thinking I had testicular cancer. Fuck me, weekly checks from now on. Oh, and while I'm still on it, if you are over 40 might as well get a yearly prostate check too.

4) Zippo makes the best refillable lighter bar none. Bic makes the best disposable.

5) Porn is unwatchable on a modem. I really pity you modem people.

6) Depression sucks ass.

7) My SO is right, I really am an unbearable asshole if I don't come (one way or another) every day.

8) Gay men are really attracted to me for some reason. I'm comfortable enough with my masculinity to be down with it, at least someone is looking.

9) I lost it on a really pretty girl today when she asked if I would like a pint of beer, or a 60 oz. 'Real Man's Beer'. "Are you saying that I'm not a real man if I don't have the big beer? It sounds to me like you are equating the size of a beer with the size of a man's penis... Only real men have big dicks, is that what you are saying? Only small, wimpy men with small dicks drink the small beer? How the hell does the size of a beer determine ones manliness?" Obviously I didn't come this morning.

10) My $400 Citizen Eco-Drive watch loses time, but my $8 fifteen year old Casio has not lost a second and is still on it's first battery. Pure bullshit.

11) My sex drive has been through the freaking roof over the past few months, and I'm having a hell of a time not attempting to fuck every woman who takes an interest in me. Hell of a time I tell you dammit.

12) I think my SO and I need a girlfriend or three. Might solve #11.

13) If I won the $50 million jackpot, I have no doubts I would be dead within the year.

14) Alice (of Alice in Wonderland) looks like my ideal dream woman.

 

[juliaa(:]

I've had a couple today.
I guess that means I'm not full of shit anymore.