Random Thoughts

[flattrack75081]

Just a mix of random shit that's been going through my head, I'd like to get out and air. Sorry, no flames from me. :tongue:

Insanity is fucking nuts!! Emile (Muse) and Britney (retired from Mirage) both suggested this DVD set. Wow, is it tough. I'm dripping my the end of the warm ups, lol. You know you've worked hard when you peel your workout gear off, and it goes splat on the floor! I just don't see the changes.....

Exercise in general. For most it's the great libido booster. Not for this cat. Between Insanity, the gym and running, I have almost no sex drive. Certainly my mood and the meds don't help things....But I took a break at the start of last week. Let's just say by the end of the third day, I could have chewed my way through a thong. I either had to hit the gym hard, or go see a lady.

More exercise. I think I'm becoming one of those guys...You know the ones doing the weird and rather torturous looking work. Like one legged dead lifts, split squats, V push ups and power lifts. (I love one handed snatches...Hell I giggle just saying that

Last but not least, though most assuredly the oddest....
I :love: my cock. I've been reading Sex for One by Betty Dodson. It's largely about masturbation for women, though it does touch on it for men, and quite a bit is stil of use for men as well. Anyway, she mentions how different it must be for men, in that we can readily and regularly see our own genitals. That got me thinking....Sure I see it everyday, but do I really see[/it]? So, i took a long hard look at it. And for a change I saw it for what it was, and not what it wasn't. Sure it's not long and thick, or bizarrely shaped. It'll never be a mighty meat python, the terror of twat town, or a cunt buster. Despite that, it is unique in it's own ways, and there is no other shlong like it. With luck, there will be a pussy out there that will love it. But even if there isn't, at least I love it.

Then it hit me, my cock is a metaphor for me. For a long time I used to see it for what it wasn't...And that's how I still see myself. Not for what I am, but for what I am not. That is something I'm still working on.

Also in saying I love my cock, I'm saying something incredibly, incredibly important....That I love part of me. It might be a small, insignificant part of me, but I still love it and it's still part of me. And if I can love a little part of me, maybe there's more in me to love as well. That's something I couldn't say a month ago...

 

[Wendy]

I love my cock too :666:.

 

[kELLz !]

Congrats Dave. Proud of you now go and love some p**** :happy:

 

[nonmisogynisticAL]

Good improvement than from before Dave. Good for you.

 

[Curious22]

I love my handsome cock and he loves me. My hand knows him and how to get him off better than any pussy.

They are a perfect match which saves me a lot of money. If I wrote a book about the relationship I doubt anyone would read it even if it had lots of pictures.

But I could be wrong?

 

[Kayteeee]

Depends what it would retail for. $ 4.99 and I may consider buying it :arf:.

 

[BETTY- Doing The Do]

Women love my cock as much as I do :aww:.





Dave keep strong.

 

[seafarer]

My cock and balls love me....typically after my bookings with Tricia they write me a thank you email :love:

 

[Nit R]

That's the other thing....
I'm thinking I'm going to give up the "hobby". While I did enjoy my last few outings, I have to admit I walked away from them feeling rather empty. In a lot of ways, it does dampen the whole experience. I would like to experience it with someone who is there because I'm me, and not the contents of a white envelope on the dresser. Maybe I expect to much out it. Either way, I can't help but feel something is missing for me in the hobby.

Of course for the latter to happen, means things like...love and passion, and so forth. Feelings I've had locked away and denied since High School....

Also related to the above....It would seem I have some very unfortunate emotional links going on. It seems that pleasure causes me pain. When I feel good, or have positive emotions, I get a large dose of guilt and shame to go with it. Makes pleasurable activities....Difficult.

 

[PoLkA dOt PyJaMaS]

You've come a long way Dave.

Congrats.

 

[vbam101@verizon.net]

Just don't know if that's a good thing or not, if I'm going in the right direction, nor where I'm going...

 

[Barkley Hound]

[video=youtube;WI-bHenF3L0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI-bHenF3L0[/video]

 

[s0LuT1oN]

Actually, one person in group brought up this song, which is also rather fitting....
[video=youtube;QGJuMBdaqIw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw[/video]

Though I have to figure out what firework I am. I just keep thinking of the Monty Python line. "Titan missiles. Surprise your friends, and amuse your enemies."

Been reading the Erotic Mind. Quite interesting. It has you look at your peak experiences (times you've been incredibly aroused) and fantasies, and look for reoccurring themes, emotions and attributes. It then goes from there.

As such I got looking into mine. My basic fantasy is based off the sex scene in Hot Dog the Movie. Babe X comes into my room strips, says something about wanting me and gets into bed with me. (the first two actions can be interchangeable). The fantasy ends when intercourse starts. Now there's variants of that theme such as joining me in the shower, or waiting for me in bed. But the reoccurring elements are the woman initiates the interaction, surprise on my part, validation of my desirability, an unspoken permission be free of inhibitions, and a great deal of emphasis on kissing, touching and exploring.

When you bundle all that up, and look at what happens in a typical session, one can't help but see there's a lot of the things that arouse me in my fantasies are entirely missing from a typical session. The element of surprise is entirely lacking. It's not my desirability that's being validated but the desire for what's in my wallet. Exploring is typically next to nonexistent. So is it any wonder that my encounters have often been....wanting.

Also I feel that I'm approaching sex with the wrong attitude. I believe that most approach sex as a form of pleasure, excitement, and variety. But I look at in a experience to have and to study. Sure it's pleasurable, but I have a certain degree of curiosity about it, in that I want to see what it is and what makes it so appealing.

Then there's the issue of inhibitions.As I mentioned in my fantasies, I'm granted permission, albeit unspoken, to toss aside my inhibitions. And I've longed for a lady that would do such a thing. I've only recently learned it's not someone out there that holds the key to my inhibitions. It's up to me to set myself free, and it's up to me to figure out how to do it.

Finally, passion....I just don't have it, and I don't think I have what it takes to be passionate.


With all that said, I'm heading into TO on Sat, and I got to thinking of hobbying. With ever thing that's been said above, I'm dancing with disappointment, I'd still like to experience it. Besides, I haven't really gotten to see what my new and improved body can do. Sadly, I'm not too sure whether I should or not, and if I do, who should I see? Genevieve is available this weekend, and is the only lady that I have met.

Edit: Rude reminder whilst in the shower this AM. I'm still suffering from a sure fire session killer...Eczema on my inner thigh and around my groin. :aww: