Resort Massage :(

[American Guitarist]

I know this isn't a vancouver review, but for those of you who take holidays...

I holiday down in Mexico quite a bit, and found myself with a real sore back and neck this time around. So these gals came around the beach offering a 70 special price for one hour.

I took about a day to decide, then went to the spa.

Price went up to 180 for 90 mins. I said "no way" then the price came down to 160.

I am in dire straights, so went for it.

Anyway to the massage.
Homely-ish stocky mexican girl, is the therapist who only speaks mainly spanish.

Go into the room, with her leading me by the arm (god I hate that - i'm not an invalid!)

1st thing I notice, besides the massage table, is a foam matress on the floor - okay I know what you are thinking, but this is within an upscale resort...

Horrid thoughts crossed my mind

Anyway massage was really lame, came close to my worst massage ever (and I've had a lot)

On the thigh massage front and back, there was enough closeness that made me think more was on the menu

Ewwww

Then on the ab massage, she set the towel Real LOW.. junior had a mind of his own despite my not liking her looks, and definitely got a few brushes or more...

She ended pretty soon after that, and sounded a little disappointed.

I complained about the massage after that and got a further discount to 120.

I just wanted to let you guys know, that travel, this is a complete waste of money, unless you like lame massages by homely stocky mexican girls. These things are pricy too upwards to 300USD

The only thing good that came from this, was (out of necessity) I learned a technique, with a towel to get the tightness out of my neck and traps... by myself

 

[Pompal 09.]

You always negotiate in Mexico lol. Whatever they start with, offer half and go from there. It is pretty common to not pay the price (outside of accomodations, etc)

 

[Tailight<3]

What city were you in?

I've enjoyed HJ's and FS from Cabo to Ixtapa at massage studios.
Mention 'sensualidad' and you'll get what you need.

This was at studios in the towns not in the resorts.
Also you should pay 30 US per hour for massage and another
20 - 40 for hj and FS respectively.

Adios

Basically you pay for your airfare by just on the pooning discount.

 

[MaDaM]

Was in Puerto Vallarta in early March and had no problems getting what I needed at a couple of massage parlours in town. Not the glitziest locations and a couple of times had me looking behind closed doors just to be on the safe side
Price was 50 pesos for the massage with a 200 peso tip for FS.

good

 

[Samantha Boyle]

$25 all in??

 

[Tali]

I'm not sure what your interpretation of an upscale resort is? The resort I stay at is nothing like that, and they certainly wouldn't solicit on the beach!

When I get a massage it starts in the hydrotherapy where I spend an hour in sauna, steam room, whirlpools, foot pools, refreshing power showers, drinking cleansing drinks and being doted on by no less than three attendants.

Once you are completely warmed and relaxed you are led to the waiting area for the masseuse where you can enjoy more healthy drinks and many fruits, nuts and snacks. You lounge in a soft chair with a hot neck wrap.

Almost any kind of massage is available, I usually go for the combination holistic and sports massages. But the one I enjoyed the most started on the table while a special whirlpool tub was prepared. It had certain kinds of lotions and aroma beads in it and jets she would turn on during each different body part massaged. She gave me a complete massage inside the tub, it was very therapeutic. Then she dried me off and I got back on the table. I got another complete massage front and back with some type of paste that was gritty. It felt nice and was great for the skin. It finished with a face treatment and massage. I felt like a million bucks. Throughout the whole time different aromas are introduced and soft music plays, it is very sensual but I never get aroused because it is so relaxing.





Yeah, I think he got the conversion wrong. If I poon in Mexico I go to reputable parlours that are comparable to ones here. Private rooms with bed and shower, donation is paid to the Madam and the GFE service is how I like it with everything covered and seldom kissing. There is no massage at all.

 

[ripped]

I had the exact same experience as the OP, at a resort in (mayan riv.) mexico. Bad back spasms, so I went for a deep tissue massage. Homely gal, led by the hand. The massage was pretty weak, relaxing, but didn't do anything for my back. She did touch the sac, from behind a couple times, but that's it.
I complained and ended up paying 120 instead of 160. I tipped the girl, because I know how little they earn.

Last year, we got a free 1/2 hour (timeshare promotion) and the gal that did the massage was quite a bit prettier. The massage was relaxing, but I'm thinking, even if it were available, any R&T would be very expensive.

I'd actually love to find a place that just did excellent deep tissue massage. I'd rather pay for that, when travelling, after being on a cramped plane for hours!