Very well thought out review, timothe. And don't ever apologize for loving one of these girls.
I expect I've been doing this longer than most of you, and have fallen in love exactly twice. Honestly my two favorite women I have ever known. Under the right circumstances, I would not hesitate to committ to a long term permanent relationship with either of them - if they could be as committed to the relationship as I could.
And don't be mistaken, it is possible for them to fall in love with a customer. There are guys on the board to this day who have married a girl they met in one of the amps. And they are very happy together to this day.
As to the idea that they are somehow "damaged" women because they worked in this business? That is absolutely foolish. These girls are human beings - with needs, wants, desires, & some painfiul moments - just like all the rest of us
Here is the real challenge. It takes an enormous level of maturity to make any relationship last. The great thing about a long term relationship is not sex. In fact sexual passion always ebbs and flows as time goes on.
The great thing is having someone you can always count on. When you are frustrated they will empathize with you. When they are hurting, you will hold them and help the moment pass. When one needs help, the other steps up to the plate with no questions asked. Each one learns to compromise, to give more than they take from the relationship. If you reread this paragraph, you will see it truly does take enormous patience and maturity. That is the ingredient so many relationships lack today. Sometimes on one side, sometimes on the other - and sometimes on both.
So the question to ask is not "Is she good enough for me?" It's "Am I good enough for her?"
Many people in this little world are just using others. Guys can be guilty of that - as can providers. Those individuals will be disastrous as long term partners. The challenge is that it is sometimes very difficult to figure when that is happening. As has been mentioned, the best providers are highly skilled at acting like the current customer is their favorite. So I don't have any great answers here. Just be honest, be open, don't expect too much, don't be afraid to express how you feel. If it is the right time & place, anything is possible.
I have reached the point in my life where I would be much more likely to want a long term relationship - yes even marriage - with the right provider (retired of course) than with a "civilian". No one should be in this hobby looking for a girlfriend. But it can hit you from the blindside - and if it does - just be aware that deep affection will likely only happen to you a handfull (less than 3 or 4 probably) of times in your life. Don't pass it up because of the past.
One of the wisest sayings of all time is:
The past is prologue.
We should all keep that in mind as we go forward.
Respecfully submitted.
Sir Lancelot