Sarcasm at its finest

[idkztwci]

This forward is simply one man’s attempt to change the world, to move that mountain!

Let me introduce myself, my name is Sarcastic Pete!

Today’s Lesson: Forwarded/Chain E-mail

As I sit and watch my e-mail get plugged up with everyone’s favorite FWD that for some reason they really feel it’s necessary for me to take my valuable time to read, I have to wonder why I am really friends with that person anyways!

Who cares if the hamster can dance? I think I have seen the hamster dance so much I’m thinking about calling Dancing with the Stars to let them know that are missing one great dancing rodent. Wait better yet I could just FWD it to them! I mean, come on people! First time funny, second time still funny, but once you get it for a third time now your simply annoyed. So what do you do to piss everyone else off, you FWD it, only to your own stupidity all of your buddies send it back to you! Hope your really happy now!

Then there’s that “Oh my God, how did that happen!” You now the one I mean. The one where you add 18 to your birth month, multiple by 25, subtract 333, multiply by 8, subtract 554, divide by 2, add your birth date, multiple by 5, add 692, multiple by 20, add the last two numbers of your birth year, subtract 32940, and well ah, your birth date. Going ahead try, I know you want to! Well? What did I say? Simply amazing! Come on people! It is just a math equation. For you people out there that think that this is a marvelous phenomenon, I feel for you! Really! Ok, maybe not really! It’s nothing more than someone who either has way too much free time or needs a better psychologist.

Let’s take a look at this absolute gem of a FWD. You read this inspiring story and you have to FWD it to 20 people, and if you do, you will see a special message on your screen! Well if you ever see it, let me know! The amazing part about this FWD is that buddy of yours, who you thought was pretty cool, who just loss about 20 coolness points for sending this FWD to you typed in the subject line “This really works!” Has to make you wonder if he thinks you’re the idiot, or just confirms that you like to surround yourself with idiots so you’re the genius of the group!

For those hopeless romantics who will find their future sole mate, maybe, just maybe, you should give your computer a name and start taking it out for dinner! Because it’s now obvious to all your e-mail contacts that you spend all your free time on the computer! Then you have those who will gain lots of wealth, or maybe great health. If you find you need to FWD an e-mail to gain wealth or health, then you might be surprised when your bank account reaches zero and your doctor just confirms a rare illness. But hey, I don’t even know you, what would I know! Maybe you could just FWD that e-mail where if you make a wish by the time you stop scrolling down, and then send it to 20 people, your wish will come true in 20 minutes. Heck, then you could get health or wealth or maybe a genie in a bottle. The options are endless, and so are the odds of your wish really will come true!

And for my all time favorite! The utterly ridiculous FWD that you will receive a new laptop from Bill Gates or some other company if the email gets FWD 250,000 times. Yeah you know the one where Microsoft is testing their beta tracking software to find out how many idiots there is in the world. As if anyone in the world is really concerned with where you might go, oh Holy One! Wait I forgot your important!

This FWD is for all you intelligent internet users who share the same feelings I do when my buddies, if we can call them that, fill my inbox. So now FWD this message to your idiot friends (see above) in a mere attempt that maybe, just maybe they’ll get a clue! It’s a reach I know, but hey, if we do nothing then nothing will change!

Again, my name is Sarcastic Pete, and if you want to help me move that mountain, then send this FWD to your contact list and then log on to your PayPal account and send me $1.00 to sarcasticpete@gmail.com to sign up for my future lessons/subscription in sarcasm. And you might find this hard to believe but after you send it, nothing will happen on your screen, no wish will be granted, and Bill Gates really won’t be sending you a laptop!

Next lesson: Sarcasm on Spam and Urban Legends

Sarcasm is meant to be done right and done hard.

You can visit me at myspace.com sarcastic_pete

Sarcastic Pete Out!