Sexual Discrimination in Massage Therapy

[Jasmin]

I know the subject line is a bit confrontational, couldn't think of a better one i'm afraid.

Over the weekend I bought a copy of the American magazine [link=http://www.massageandbodywork.com/]Massage & Bodywork [/link] which had some interesting articles in it. Firstly about Massage and MS which is of personal interest as my mum suffers from MS.

But the the other articles I was really drawn to dealt with with men working as Massage Therapists and also Men as clients. I am a male therapist just starting out, and I know Massage is a very strongly female orientated market. This article raised some really interesting points that I haven't thought of before and wondered what other people reactions to them are. Below are two quotes from therapists highlighted in the article:





I have fought many arguments over discrimination and caused massive shouting matches in companies I have worked for due to my beliefs - I refuse to allow individuals or companies discriminate and often speak my mind on such matters, sometimes when it is not wanted. After reading the article I found myself thinking, hey i'm investing a significant amount of my own money and time to change careers into a field that discriminates against men. Something I hadn't thought about.

(Note added to clarify: This had nothing to do with massage and was several years back, it was a whole argument I had with my employer at the time about discriminiation based on my sexuality. The point I was trying to make is that I have always pushed and encouraged equal opportunities.)

From talking to people on here I know everyone will be of the opinion of its not a problem, we have some excellent successful male therapists amoungst us on HP. But we are a minority, I find myself drawn more to the second statement being the stronger of the two - the discrimination comes more from the clients. Not actively, not in a sexist way - it is about personal space, privacy and intimacy; we are allowing a stranger to have very intimate physical touch with us that we usually reserve for those closest to us.

On my last training course with Gerry Pyves I had a chat with him about the number of male therapists he has seen go through his training programme, on that course I was one of two men in a group of about 20. He said they are seeing more men come through into the profession, particular for Sports Massage and therapies. When I did a search for therapists in the West Midlands on the IGPP website the % of male therapists listed was very low indeed.

What are your experiences of men working in this field? As therapist, client or just a practitioner / observer.

As I client I know it can be disheartening to be told "I'm sorry I only treat women", I fully understand and appreciate the reasoning behind this but it still knocks me back a bit.

Love and hugs
Foz xxx
)

 

[leseotonspgn]

Fozzyo,

I would like to share my experience with you.
I am not a therapist, but have done a few introduction courses, which I only use on my Partner. He says when it comes to having a relaxing, "feel good" ( his words) massage, he looks no further than me, (and he has also had professional massages from women). When he wants his muscles "worked on" (his words again) he looks for a male massuse as they seem to apply the appropriate pressure he needs. He finds the female touch too light.
An insight from a clients point of view

 

[jbedqzrd]

Sadly I think that some of what is said is true.

This is how people feel. Men are very funny about being massaged by men. And strangely some female therapists won't massage men, but they should get past that in my opinion.

I will massage men or women and don't worry about either.

As for relaxing or a good working on, that is not pertinent to only men or women. Women want their muscles worked on too and men don't just come to me for a relaxation massage. A good massage is just that, relaxing and giving a good deep treatment.

You will find it difficult to overcome these barriers, but I don't think that having shouting matches will win you any clients. That will be a big no-no to you I am afraid.

I can understand your frustration, but you want to get a reputation as a good therapist and this involves interpersonal skills as well as your technique so you will have to walk away from those you can't win over.

Stick with it. It isn't easy for any of us. It takes a long time, a lot of work and a lot of commitment to build up clients. It is very hard work and it can be disheartening at times, but you will get there eventually if you persevere.

We are all here to encourage you.

 

[black keys x]

As a therapist, I have no problems treating men. I just exercise the usual caution when I'm likely to be on my own and treating a male client for the first time.

As a client, and even before I qualified when I was less confident in a treatment situation, as I like a strong massage, I have always preferred to have a male therapist, although of course we cannot generalise, and the strongest massage I ever had a couple of months ago, was by a woman.

As you said, few of us on HP will think of it as a problem. The only problem I see, and forgive me again for generalising and making assumptions, is that as we've discussed on other threads, it takes a while to reach the point where therapy becomes full time and gives a decent income. While I appreciate that this is important for many women, I'm sure that there are more women than men that are lucky enough to be supported by partners while training and building up the business.

Don't be despondent. You sound like a fantastic therapist and I'm sure that you will build up a good client base over time. Just grab the challenge.

Lesley

 

[Asian Jonny]

How embarrasing. Sorry, I didn't make myself very clear the arguments were completely unrelated to any massage work - it was infact several years ago with an old employer about my sexuality. It went a bit mad - the FD and Managing Partner were arguing that they couldn't have christmas cards at one point apparently because of it. At that point it started getting too surreal.

This is something I am totally prepared for, and went into the world of Massage expecting. The article just kind of brought it home a bit more I guess. Seeing it in black and white I think made me think about it more. To a certain extent it has given me more drive to succeed - added to the challenge of building up my practice. This isn't a political fight, if people don't want to see a male therapist then that is their choice. I feel they are not doing themselves any favours, they are missing out on some amazing treatments.

I am really lucky to have a great partner who believes in me, actively encourages me, picks me up when the universe seems against me and tells me not to be so bloody stupid when i get carried away at times bringing me back to earth.

Interesting comments from you Hopefull on how your partner prefers to see a male therapist when he wants the deeper work. Before I trained and understood more about massage I think I would have said the same, how can a small therapist really work my knotted shoulders. My teacher, Helen, proved me very wrong on that one. That is something I think we as a profession need to work on, promotion of the understanding that deep work doesn't nessecerily come through strength.

Hugs
Foz xxx

 

[Newts Man]

Something I hadn't thought about there Aromababe. And yeah, I would say the same thing. I wonder if this is one of the reasons less men consider changing careers like this? There is the perceived stereotype of the man of the household being the "bread winner". It can be quite hard to have that role reversed, taking it away from massage for a moment how many people know of families where the father stays home to look after the kids? Myself I only know of one such family. And I think it can be hard for a lot of men to put themselves in that situation.

I have noticed in a lot of the bodywork / beauty press over the last 6mths or so an increase in articles about treating and attacting male clients to a practice / spa. I think times are moving and soon they will move very quickly and men will account for a significan (though not majority) percentage of the market.

Foz xxx

 

[Marie S.]

I did misunderstand you, apologies.

 

[Bubblerawk]

Hey fozzyo
I find being a bloke doing massage has more advantages.
1/ the perception is that men have the strength to work deeper than women.(not necessarily true).More work.
2/You can do home visits without the worries of female therapists treating a
new male client.[]
Dont get all wound up as You cant change peoples prefrences or perceptions
easily..... though I must say Iwould have prefered not to be the only bloke on my last course of 20 partisipants for massage therapy for people with cancer.
steve

 

[Alley P]

Well from comments so far Stephen your first point is definately proving true.

I don't have a problem with with peoples preferences or perceptions, just interested in them and what other people think. Makes for fascinating reading.

Foz xxx

 

[Deckard]

It is important for me as a woman to put down boundaries, in life and in my practice.

This includes running women only classes at times.

If I book a massage session with a woman I feel safe.

If I were to book a massage session with a man, I would feel less safe unles he were a friend.

I would call it discerning rather than discriminating , to booka female therapist.

I can understand the points about being made about male massage therapists feeling discriminated against....but it is a huge area....

tigress

 

[Olwenthian]

Hi there, i thought i would share my experience of this since im a male massage therapsit.
I agree with all the previous comments, i find i get men booking often when they want a deep tissue massage as they do have the (wrong) impression that a male therapist can do deeper work. ( the deepest massage i had was also from a woman).
I have found some discrimination when applying to clinincs etc as alot seem to want female therapists for some reason, however one place i work its was to my advantage as they wanted a male therapist as they had lots of female massage therapists there and they wanted some male energy to balance things out a little.
i think we all or most of us have a preference as to the sex (not sexuality) of who massages us, i do prefer a male therapist myself as i feel more relaxed and quite understand when woman only treat woman, i just feel more at ease with male therapists, however i dont mind clients male or female, it doesnt make a difference to me really.

I have found it hard like everyone to build my client base but its like one client said to me, they have had lots of good massages from men and woman but when it comes down to it they said its like finding someone you are most at ease with to massage you, someone you can talk to freely...like someone else said, i think interpersonal skills count for a lot.
Anyway...good luck and i know ive gone off the point a bit too!
paul

 

[Barbara S]

Although I can to some extent understand women's reticence to be massaged by men, or for that matter see male clients (particularly if they work from home), I do think that we also need to get things into perspective here. Yes, it is sensible to take precautions in order to protect yourself from unwanted attention, etc, etc, BUT, and it is a very but but, what are the chances of anything untoward happening really and truly? I personally would have no objections at all to being massaged by a man, in fact as someone else here said, I have found that they are usually much stronger than us ladies, and therefore able to give a much deeper massage, which is what I tend to need.

June

 

[lil_miss_sunshine]

Not an area I know much about to be honest, but maybe having a poorly informed view of western massage might shed light on the topic... my thinking is that if you demonstrate professionalism and steer clear of the dodgy aspects, both men and women will accept the male masseur. I suppose one way of doing this is by the choice of clothing... wear a white male-nurse-like jacket/top combined with sobre dark trousers, rather than casual clothing, and refer to yourself as a massage therapist, rather than a masseur (which makes me think of the dodgy adverts in the local free newspaper...).

Just a thought.

 

[Hambone]

Sometimes, it doesn't matter how professional we attempt to be, we can attract unwanted interest. Since I've advertised in the Yellow Pages as a Holistic Therapist, I've had one or two dodgy enquiries from men, even though I put my qualifications after my name and list my therapies, which include Holistic Massage. Unfortunately, there will always be those who will try it on.

Lesley

 

[Clement]

I only ever describe myself as a Massage Therapist and correct those who refer to me as a masseur for this very reason.

I think it can very much be a foot in the door situation, if someone allows you to demonstrate your skills, knowledge, ability and spirit then how you sell and apply yourself to your therapy is how you will be judged. Not your gender.

Foz xxx

 

[MsFruhauf]

Hi Fozzyo [sm=wave.gif]

I have been reading this forum with interest.

In the past when I have booked for a massage I have requested that I would only be massaged by a women.

The reason is not because I would not trust a man or the fact that I think a women could do a better job it is for one simple reason: When it comes to my body I am quite shy and have put on a little weight so therefore would feel more comfortable with a women.

Now that sounds awful as it sounds like I am saying that a male therapist would judge my body - which I am not saying at all.

My boyfriend on the other hand does a lot of rugby and teaches thai boxing and when he has pulled a muscle and have needed a massage he has not cared who massaged him as long he was put out of his misery!!!!

I think this is because my boyfriend would never go to have a massage just for relaxation and enjoyment he would only go if he was in pain - so his need to have a massage is pain relief, whereas I go because I love getting massaged!

At the end of the day I think its left up to the individuals on who they feel comfortable with.

I am half turkish and in Turkey if you go and get a good old fashioned massage (as in the Turkish baths) you will find it is only men that are employed to do that and most men that go dont find it a problem.

 

[Morgan Galligan]

You could always call yourself what my boys called me when I was training:

A Massologist.

 

[haunted_horse]

I have to agree with Susan2.

A few months ago, a friend and I did a "Massage Day" in aid of the local nursery, and it was all females who put their names down for a "neck, back and shoulders" massage.

A few of the younger mothers who I knew said "Oh no I couldnt have a massage from you, because I see you all the time". So it seemed that if you are a relative stranger it may be more acceptable to visit a male therapist.

Conversely most of my clients seem to be male, one who is a carpenter, and has upper back problems. (Needs deep work, as the muscles are so well defined, and a home furnishings shop owner, who works with large reels of fabric. (He gets stressed, and suffers from lower back problems). The difference being, is that they come to me - because they know me.

It does seem that men and women approach the same issue from opposite ends of the equation.

 

[Josie]

Topcat

I think the issue here is whether the client feels any embarrassment with the treatment.

I had to have a smear test and one of the practice nurses was a friend of mine. She actually asked another nurse to do the test as she sensed I may be embarrassed with her (and I was a little).

Similarly, I needed an internal examination and the doctor who was a friend of mine asked if I wanted her colleague to do it. Strangely enough, I felt less embarrassed with the male doctor who I didn't know than with the female doctor who was my friend.

I think it's all about perception and only seeing the person in a professional capacity which is OK, but once the relationship transcends that, we feel uncomfortable.

Lesley

 

[Dove is the Guide]

I think that women have it drummed into them so much to protect themselves from men that they are uncomfortable to receive pleasurable treatment from a man. Its embaressing to have, say a smear test from a male doctor but its not pleasurable and they have no choice about it.

For the record I am a Mobile Therapist and dont treat male clients unless either I know them or one of my existing clients has recommended them to me. Its not descrimination its just self preservation.