Short jokes

[Miss Alyss]

Opposite of Pro

If "CON" is the opposite of "PRO", what is the oposite of PROGRESS?



Termite

A hungry termite walks into a pub and says, ‘Is the bar tender here?’



Sandwich

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.’



Kitchen Accidents

I read that most accidents in the home happen in the kitchen. So I moved the cooker to the bedroom.



The Last Word

A man to his friend: "At my house I always say the last word".

His friend: "What is the word?"

The man: "I am sorry. Forgive me"



Reason To Avoid A War

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day





Love And War

Make love not war. Unless you want to do both. If so - get married.



Nickname

Three couples went to a restaurant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

 

[have_a_go_mate]

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:hilarious: :hilarious: :rofl: :lmao: Repped :rofl: