Should I introduce my black boyfriend to my racist grandma?

[Stef]

It's a little bit of a long story, but I'll try to make this short. My dad and his mom (my grandma) are both very racist (I'm sorry if this offends anyone.) About a year ago I met this guy whose half black, and we've been dating off and on for a few months after being good friends. I haven't talked to my dad in two months because he's rude to my boyfriend and he constantly shows that he doesn't care about me. I haven't seen my grandma since Christmas, but I'm going to be in town tomorrow with my boyfriend and I'm thinking about visiting her. She's never met my boyfriend, and I'm not sure what she's heard from my dad. My grandpa died three years ago and since then she's been very lonely. I really want to see her before she passes, and I feel like that could happen any day. Currently, my boyfriend and I aren't technically "dating," but we might as well be; we live together. He's so annoying and gets on my nerves a lot, but he's still a very big part of my life. I hate that my grandpa died (he was cool) before my boyfriend could've met him, and I want him to at least know who my grandma is before she's gone. She's just.. the small, outspoken kind of grandma sometimes and I don't want to give her a heart attack or hurt my boyfriend's feelings if she says something rude.
To clear things up about my relationship with him, I'm 18 and I moved in with him on my birthday. My mom is cool with him and so is her whole family. Honestly, he's my best friend but if I could move out on my own, I would. He's not exactly a "knight in shining armor" kind of guy, but I know he cares about me. I depend on him now, and it kind of sucks cause we're not in a happy relationship exactly. But the point is that I'm going with him, so I don't want him to have to wait in the car or something, but I do want to see my grandma. And once she's gone, I want him to know who she was because even if him and I aren't dating, we will be good friends for a very long time.

 

[Weimo]

no, it'll probably just cause a lot more stress on you and your boyfriend as a couple then on grandma to be so upset at this point in life.. so yeah .. I wouldn't

 

[Yellowspotlight89]

well, first off rate how much your care about this boy on a scale of 1-10. if he was gone from your life and could be replaced by someone else that had better qualities and was less irritating, would you do it? if that is the case, then it may not be worth bringing him to see her.

you could always warn her in the first place that you're bringing your biracial friend with you to visit. its really up to you. if you're not afraid of her mouth and he is properly warned, then it'll just be her ignorance to be that damn old and racist.

 

[Ghost Hunter]

I take it you are just "roommates" and not dating. Does your mom and dad know your living with this guy? You did not mention your age. I'm sorry if you family is predjudiced. If your over 18 do what makes you happy. But if he is getting on your nerves this may be s sign of things to come like marriage and end with divorce. You need to dump him for the sake of your grandmother and the shock it could cause her.

 

[Dane]

Do it for the lulz.

 

[John Doe]

You need to ask yourself how much you would care if she did make offending comments and than weigh that against how important you think it is for them to meet. If he is such a big part of your life than I think it would be good for that reason, and she may have already heard which could lessen her spite as it wouldnt be a surprise. But if she is like your dad then she will probably still harbor bad feelings toward him and it might be a good idea to check in with her first and possibly tell her who you will be coming with. Ultimately you need to decide how much flak you are willing to take for this guy and if he loves you and you love him then what other people say shouldnt matter.