Should my spouse quit on line chatting?

[HAHAHA]

My wife and I are in a rocky point of marriage and I want her to stop chatting with people on line. Is that unfair to ask since we aren't getting along. What if she doesn't want to stop? What do I do then?
I have no idea what is being said she does not want me to see. I know she feels like she has an emotional connection to these strangers but that should be my connection.
I have asked and she say wants to work on our relationship but I would rather her build a connection with me. She has also asked for some space to think about things.

 

[Bears Mom]

I agree with you....she is more connected with strangers on line than you. If she chooses to online chat over working on your marriage then your marriage is in trouble. The issues in your marriage won't be resolved if she continues to shut herself off in her own little word of online chatting. If she is serious about working things out she needs to get off the computer and get back into the real world.

 

[Leslie the Lizard]

Hmmmm, well, as she is an adult and you aren't her dad, you can't really MAKE her stop. Since you say that your marriage is at a rocky point anyway, I think you should really go to marital therapy and discuss ALL of the things that are happening in your marriage that are causing problems. I urge you both to be honest and up front. I really hope that you do this as it sounds as though it has gotten to a point that it can't be handled by simple requests, but needs the intervention of a professional to help the two of you learn to communicate better and work through your issues. "Space to think about things" is NOT recommended; that is running away from the problem, not facing it head on and working it through. I would urge her to attend counseling with you, which would be much more proactive rather than giving her "space." She is already having "space" by chatting online, and you see how well that works. Good luck and I hope you will seriously consider my advice.

 

[strine strumpet 4]

If she truly wants to work on your relationship, whatever she does online should be an open book. Anything done in secrecy is not a positive sign.

 

[Tinkerbell]

Who is she chatting to? It's fine to keep up with friends with online chat - or is she online all evening and ignoring you? Try taking her out and distracting her from her online friends. There needs to be a balance and compromise in all relationships. You cant make her stop - she must want to. Before you tackle the issue of online chatting, try sorting out the main important issues in your marriage. It sounds like the online chatting is just a symptom of bad communication within your marriage. Try a good heart to heart talk - dont bring up the online chatting - just start by saying that you would like to improve communication in the marriage which will lead to better understanding of needs - and go from there. Good luck!

 

[mmm]

she is emotionally attaching herself to others istead of dealing with reality - not a good sign -sorry

 

[DLM]

Technically there's nothing wrong with chatting. What is she saying while chatting? Chatting online is no different than talking to the guy next to you in line at the grocery store . . . . unless you plan to meet up afterwards.

 

[happywjc]

If you don't speak out about issues,
they remain issues!
and it depends on what they
r chatting about!

 

[Fran J]

Sounds like she doesn't want to volunteer information. I wouldn't push her - just get more secretive. Instead, go out in your best clothes and ravish a woman tonight. Make sure your wife sees the photos on your mobile. That will quieten her.

 

[Beth]

If it bothers you and she won't let you see what's being said, I'd watch quietly behind her shoulder and let her know that anything she says needs to be what you'd be able to read. I chat all the time on FB but always tell my husband who and what I"m saying. I let him sit with me, read it or I'll read it to him. I have nothing to hide and she shouldn't either.

 

[Liz]

Chatting online can be addictive, please ask her calmly to listen to you for a moment as you need to ask her opinion. Then ask her if she wants your marriage to get back on track, try to find out what went wrong and why you two are not friends anymore.
If she is chatting online she is probably trying to compensate for her sadness with you so instead of demanding things from her, gently talk to her about things and see if you can resolve the issue.
If you both decide to go your separate ways then you have tried your best.
Good luck.

 

[Diamondbella]

On line chatting should not be a problem unless they are flirting with other people on line like complimenting showing pic web cam sex talk then this is called emotional cheating.
Well ur marriage is rocky she should not be online with others she should be working it out with you and if she knows that it bothers u so much she should not be on line chatting.You spouse needs to have an emotional connection with you. You spouse needs to quit the online dating to have a good relationship with you and grow with you