So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

[Bryton]

Hi everyone.

I just joined this form with hopes of gleaning some insight from other students or even people working as MTs about their experiences in school.

I just started a 9 month intensive MT licensing program at a reputable school, with the possibility of doing additional training after to get more hours, certifications, etc... I thought I knew what I was getting into, but now I'm not so sure. I'm 5 weeks into the program, have a BA in Behavioral Science, and have always been a fast learner. I didn't want to go into traditional counseling, yet was drawn to healing and have been for some time. I also suffer anxiety and felt that it would be a calming environment without much emphasis on 'small talk' and such. I don't mind repetition, and I don't mind quiet for extended periods.

Anyway, the thing is, I feel like I'm floundering. I know I picked a good school, as the curriculum is VERY rigorous and intense and I barely have time to do anything non school related. I knew there would be anatomy involved, and I'm much more a 'hands on' learner, so that didn't intimidate me even though science has never been a strong point for me. I feel like all I do is study, and my results have been for the most part mediocre. I know that it's more about learning than grades, but I am almost certain I will lose my scholarship now. I've always done well in school, and I see people who just appear to be coasting through doing better than me - people who are don't seem to take it seriously or who are unaware of impending tests, etc... I don't mean that to sound judgmental at all, and I want everyone to do well. It just feels disheartening when you put so much of yourself into studying, showing up on time, practicing out of class, and nothing seems to have 'clicked' yet.

I just finished a Shiatsu module and begin Swedish intro soon, so I am looking forward to that. Perhaps Shiatsu was the wrong modality for me to build my confidence? I had positive experiences with fellow students when I practiced (and have been told throughout my life that I have a 'caring touch'), but did poorly on the hands on final portion of it, which really upset me. Did anyone else have problems in that area? Some just seem to take to it, but it was a massive struggle for me - even though I found it greatly interesting.

I think I'm just at a point where its either I forge ahead and see how the rest of the quarter finishes off, consider switching to the 15 month program, or just seek something else all together.

It's just hard b/c I'm in my 30s, I've tried a variety of fields, and perhaps I was just expecting to 'get' things too soon. I'm fairly empathic by nature and love to nurture others, but I really have had doubts since the very start of school. Everyone else seems to love it or at least be getting by, at least from the conversations I've had or observations I've made.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ventings/rantings. I don't want to waste an opportunity, but at the same time, if it's just the wrong path for me, I don't want to waste the hours, money, and sanity.

Please, any experiences, advice, input (pos, neg, neutral), would be a MASSIVE help. I don't want to let my loved ones down, I don't want to let myself down, and I feel like a failure at this point. Perhaps I'm being overly harsh, but I've just been questioning this a lot. Some days it feels really good and some days I literally cry b/c I don't know what I am/should be doing with my life. I feel incompetent and even stupid sometimes, which I know I am not.

Did anyone else not feel the 'click' right away? Is this a phase or is it a red flag?

Again, thank you.

 

[nuclearbroods]

So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

It is tough and intensive, especially if you don't know the muscles beforehand. I was also anxious in school because I wanted to do well and I am now one of the few of my class who are still practicing. Ever heard of the tortoise and the hare?

Take care of yourself while going through this temporary challenge. Any chance you are over-thinking things? Get out of your head and into your body, whichever way works best for you.
Also, watch your language. Change all the "don't wants" to what you do want. Example, "I am going to make myself and my loved ones proud." Imagine what it would be like when you get it. Saying it in present tense can allow your subconcious to pick up on it. "I make myself proud."

Realize you have been in situations like this before. What resources/attributes (intelligence, persistence, etc.) did you use to adapt to, endure or overcome them?

Keep us posted please and welcome t006

 

[Seraphin Falls]

So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

Of all my courses, Shiatsu was toughest for me. I just didn't get into that course the way that I 'connected' to Swedish and Deep Tissue. It was tough all the way, but hang in there. Determination goes a very long way and you will be very glad you did hang tough when you have it all behind you and are looking back thinking, "Wow, look how far I've come...wonder how I did that"

 

[clove1971]

So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

It sounds like your anxiety may be taking your training as an object on which to focus. Just a thought you may want to consider. In our training program what i have noticed in my students is for those who are just becoming comfortable with touch, a lot of emotional stuff can come up and get in the way of their book learning AND practical learning. In addition, many students expect confidence to come earlier than it normally does. I find that true confidence is not built until months after school is over, after hundreds of massages, so to expect yourself to feel confident in a modality when school has just started is not realistic.

Go easy on yourself. Learning a new skill like this can be a process that requires patience and may involve several different seforum.xxxes of emotional letting go and learning. You are laying new tracks of neural pathways in your brain.

Know this: I have watched students who are struggling as much or more than you are go on to become awesome therapists with the confidence you seek. YOU CAN DO IT. Don't compare yourself to others, everyone learns at their own pace. Go to class, do your homework, and most important PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.

 

[Joshua]

So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

It is tough and intensive, especially if you don't know the muscles beforehand. I was also anxious in school because I wanted to do well and I am now one of the few of my class who are still practicing

Yes, it was intense for me too. And to my knowledge only 3 of us out of the class of 10 are still practicing 14 yrs later!

Any chance you are over-thinking things?

For me, it was all a bit overwhelming too. I just had to break things down... and if you try to teach it to someone else and are successful, chances are, you've got it down. So try breaking it down for the "lay person" or for a child and see how it goes for you.

Get out of your head and into your body, whichever way works best for you.

I agree, and get as many different ways of learning involved as possible. See it, hear it, touch it...
I remember our teacher having us make muscle bundles out of newspaper & saran wrap... we also did the clay Maniken thing, not to mention the coloring books, the anatomy videos...

Also, watch your language. Change all the "don't wants" to what you do want. Example, "I am going to make myself and my loved ones proud." Imagine what it would be like when you get it. Saying it in present tense can allow your subconcious to pick up on it. "I make myself proud."

And before we studied something our Muscles & Bones instructor would have us recite, "Today, everything I read, hear, see and do will come to conscious memory by desire!" (And then you'd study... you'd say it again just before testing to aid in recall!)

Realize you have been in situations like this before. What resources/attributes (intelligence, persistence, etc.) did you use to adapt to, endure or overcome them?

Keep us posted please and welcome t006

Also realize you're probably being harder on yourself than you would be to a "friend" that was in the same situation! Give yourself the compassion & encouragement you'd give a friend that was in your situation & you may find yourself with a lot more energy!

Personally I liked Shiatsu and that was my favorite instructor, but I had difficulty with the A&P and especially with the A&P teacher. It's just like high school, some teachers you click with their teaching style more than others... LOL Do what you have to, to make it work for you!

And remember, you have come to the right place... there are lots of people here who believe you CAN do it. And we're here to cheer you every step of the way! t006
And Welcome to MassagePlanetL!

 

[God eats babies]

So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

Thanks for all the positivity, support, encouragement, and insights so far, you guys. Really, it has made me feel a lot better to read all of what you've had to say. I think the biggest issue is my anxiety/lack of confidence, and my struggles thus far have only served to create self doubt. I do spend too much time 'in my head', and noticed when I felt safe and not judged practicing Shiatsu on an upperclassman, I ENJOYED doing the work - though my technique was far from perfect.

You guys are right, it's WAY too early on and it is really like learning a new language, trying to retain a crazy amount of information, and trying to get a slew of techniques down. I have enjoyed a lot about my experience already, I just feel like when my results haven't yet 'caught up' (and everyone else seems to be swimming or at least floating), I get a little disheartened.

I start Swedish tomorrow, so I'm VERY excited about that, and just from stuff I've fooled around with in the past, it seems more my 'style'.

The tortoise and the hare is a good analogy. I'm gonna stick it out for now, see how the first quarter goes, and progress from there. You all have put things into a great perspective for me, and I am deeply appreciative. It's funny how it's almost inherent to try and treat others with compassion, yet we can be so hard on ourselves.

Thanks for giving me all this feedback to mull over, and for letting me know I am not 'the only one'. I appreciate the warm welcomes, and look forward to being a part of this forum. I know I will need all the support I can get, and I hope that I, in turn, can give some back as well!

 

[Scooter_New_Year_Squirrel]

So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

I think the biggest issue is my anxiety/lack of confidence, and my struggles thus far have only served to create self doubt. I do spend too much time 'in my head', and noticed when I felt safe and not judged practicing Shiatsu on an upperclassman, I ENJOYED doing the work - though my technique was far from perfect.

Well Starblind, think about it... wouldn't it be Odd for a new MT student to be confident @ this point in their schooling? Confidence, I'm still not sure I have that. I have learned to settle for a measure of "comfort!" (Comfortable) Believe me, your anxiety & lack of confidence are Normal. I would say your classmates if they answer honestly, are experiencing similar feelings.

As for feeling safe & not judged with the upperclassman, is there some way you could practice on this person again? Also, find others who you think would be appreciative (friends or family?) of some bodywork... and practice, practice, practice!!!

 

[Dragon]

So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

Starblind, the first two preceptor massages I had to complete for school (60 minute massage performed on and assessed by a local massage therapist in their place of business), their biggest criticism was that I acted very nervous in my intake!

Here's a little secret: everybody sucks at massage when they're starting out. We just do. At least compared with how we'll do in a year or five or ten. It's okay! Human beings are designed to learn, not perform perfectly with no rehearsal.

Think of it this way, if you had a baby that took its first two steps and then fell on its butt, which would you do? Clap and squeal and take pictures? Or say, "Man, this baby is defective, it can't even walk right. Think we can trade it in for a better one?"

I'm totally stuck in my head, too. I did better in anatomy than in massage, but I'm confident in my massage now (even though I still suck compared with more experienced therapists). We're all learning together. Just keep trying, and you'll be fine!

Kat

 

[blinky42]

So many quesions. Any input would be of great help...

It sounds like your anxiety issues are taking over. You might want to talk to someone who can help you to create some mental space to resolve the problem, before getting to stressed out as to if massage school is a good fit or not.

In my experience, there are not a lot of people in a class who will actually become practicing therapists. So, next time you are there, look around you. I venture to say only a handful will continue on past their first year out of school.

Just because it is difficult, doesn't mean you can't make it. Not everything in life is easy, but you do have to want it, if at this time you are struggling. However, if you are worried about wasting money, then I can see where have to make a personal decision if this field is for you a whole lot sooner.

Think about it this way: If you don't want it, then I can only think of two reasons off the top of my head to stay - 1.) You need a job, and know you can find work in this field until you can get on to what you want in life. 2.) Someone expects you to finish, other than yourself.

Personally, I love what I do. But, I know I wouldn't love being a mathmatics teacher. I would do it if I had to, in order to eat, but I would not be happy. You have to find what makes you happy, or chose what doesn't and live with it. Those are the only options I know.

If you have enough money to keep you going for a while, I would at least get through the Swedish course before I quit. Swedish will give you a good handle on the relaxing side of massage in order to see if that is more your style.

Another thought, since you mentioned you don't want to waste time and money, is to go out right now and start interviewing MT's in your area. Get to them in person. See how they practice. Ask a lot of questions. Similar to what you are doing here, but in person. In person always seems to hit home in a much better way for me.