Some Jokes

[michael c]

i got this jokes long time back in my mail box.

the jokes king ofcourse has read them because he sent them to me and more.

i searched for these but did not found any so posting.
i its repeat then mods know what to do :bleh:


Requesting a three day pass
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An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for
a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you
already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that
recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up,
the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do
you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

Giving sad news to a troop
==================================================
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that
Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him
in to see me."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the
troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the
mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The
rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the
way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey,
Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died.
Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.

A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with,
"Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died.
You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more
tactful."

So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and
listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so
fast, McGrath!"


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Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,
shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and
20 in science."
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