Some thoughts......

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* Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

* Going to church doesn't make someone into a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes someone into a car.

* Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

* If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

* It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

* Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

* A balanced diet is a burger in each hand.

* Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

* Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

* By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

* If you had to identify in one word the reason why human race has not achieved its full potential that word would be MEETINGS

* There is a very fine line between the words "hobby" and "mental illness"

* People who want to share their religious beliefs with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

* You should not confuse your career with your life.

* The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

* You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight saving time.

* You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see the actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

* There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

* A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.

* Never be afraid to try something new. A lone amateur built the Ark, a large group of professionals built the Titanic.