St Margaret

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Sister Margaret had been a model nun all her life, but then she was
called to her reward. As she approached the pearly gates, Saint Peter
said, "Hold on, Sister Margaret... not so fast!"

"But I have been good all my life and dedicated to the work of the
Lord. From the time I was taken in as an infant by the sisters at the
convent to my dying breath... I have lived for this moment!" Sister
Margaret exclaimed in disbelief.

"That is just the problem... you never learned right from wrong and to
get into heaven, you must know the difference between right and
wrong," replied St. Peter.

"Well, what can I do? I will do anything to get into heaven!" Sister
Margaret pleaded.

"I am going to have to send you back down to Earth. When you get
there, I want you to smoke a cigarette and call me when you are
finished... we will discuss your situation then," ordered St. Peter.

Sister Margaret returned to Earth, smoked a Camel, and then called St.
Peter coughing and hacking. "Saint Peter" she gasped, "I can hardly
breathe, my mouth tastes terrible, my breath stinks, I feel dizzy, and
I think I am going to throw up!"

"Good!" replied the old saint, "Now you are finally getting a feel for
right and wrong. Now go out tonight and drink some hard liquor and
call me immediately."

Sister Margaret phoned St. Peter shortly after taking several belts of
Jack Daniels. "Saint Peter I feel woozy... that vile liquid burned my
throat and nauseated me... it is all I can do to keep it down."

"Good ... good! Now you are starting to see the difference between
right and wrong" said St. Peter with delight.

"Tomorrow I want you to seek out a man and know him in the Biblical
sense then call me."

A week later, Sister Margaret called St. Peter and left a message:

"Hello, Pete... it's Peggy. I'm gonna be a while!"