That's my boy

[Young and Stupid]

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the
way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the
money his parents gave him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you
won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with!
Why, they actually have a program here at college that will teach our
dog Ole Blue how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him
in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get
him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000.

About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out.
The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just
won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program
that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to
get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends
the money.

The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father
will find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots
the dog.

When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all
excited.

"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read
something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning,
just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room
kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he
usually does.
Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still
messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that crazy dog before he
talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"