The 3 worst nightmares.. Lmfao!

[Henkfurte]

That's the most disgusting joke I've ever heard in my life. uke2:

 

[L.T.M.]

OMG! LMAO @ NO. 3 :lmao::lmao::lmao:

Best joke i've heard in a long time :clap

 

[lollipopsy]

Nos. 2 and 3 a RIOT!! Cant get much more embarassing I think. :

 

[LauriGyday]

¦!·;2969522']

:lmao: LMFAO :lmao:​

The first one kinda sounds like that line from "Good Luck Chuck" with Dane cook. After their done getting it on. he tells the chick that she reminds him of a guy he went to high school with. She ends up saying "no that was me before the operation" :​

Second one I have never heard before that was good :thumb: yet extremely gross at the same time uke2:​

Third one, was a commercial :lmao: saw it at my parents house and everyone started cracking up ​

I woulda repped you for this Light, but I went on a Rep Pimpin' last night so I'm banned ​

 

[Mackenziee Rose.]

Nightmare No.1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled
out a cigarette from his jeans & searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table & found a box of matches
sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."​

Nightmare No. 2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think of ways to rekindle it.
One night he came from work, & found his wife asleep in
bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do? Oh I know."
He proceeded to get under the covers & go down on his wife.
Soon she began to gently squirm & moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed.

Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on & he saw his wife there shaving her legs.
He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here!?"
She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, You'll wake your mother"​

Nightmare No.3

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. They are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, when the guy starts feeling a little
*****.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall &
smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" !
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at
her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much!?"
"No, no, & no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no.I just can't"
"I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, & the girl's sister
shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, & in a sleepy voice she says:
"Dad says to go ahead & give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it.
But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom"


:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:​