Think before you speak!!!

[Squilliam Fancyson]

good one. great job:::::

 

[Anderson]

lmao they were all really funny.

 

[Knifer420]

HAHAHAHAHA :lmao:
I love the fifth and sixth.

 

[Allison Leynette]

that was funny........................ahahahaha oh my.......

 

[Leslie]

im still laughing at the last one

 

[Suzy]

:lmao: thats a good one.

 

[Colbert Nation]

:lmao: OMG I love that one!​

 

[brittaney r]

The first one would definately be something that I would accidently say :

 

[Flexibels]

This one is my favorite. :lmao:

 

[Ben Doverman]

We were all out last night and she was reading them to us from her page...and we were all lmao :

 

[E.T.]

''Wheres that 8 inches you promised me last night?''
:lmao:

those were great
:clap

xxx
​

 

[Pk.khafan]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY: [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]This had most of the state of Michigan laughing[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]for 2 days and a very embarrassed [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]female news anchor who will, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]in the future, likely think before she speaks. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]We had a female news anchor that, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]the day after it was supposed to have [/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]snowed and didn't, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]turned to the weatherman and asked: [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?' [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Not only did HE have to leave the set, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard. [/FONT]​

 

[hello :)))]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I found these on one of my friend's page on my space.....enjoy!!!!!! [/FONT]
Credit to Christiana...these are brilliant!!! ​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Think before you speak...[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]the last one is great! [/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FIRST TESTIMONY: [/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and asked loudly, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I turned around and walked back out and never went back [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]My husband didn't say a word...[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]he knew better.[/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]SECOND TESTIMONY:[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. [/FONT]
I[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]After browsing for several minutes, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store . [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]He asked if he could help me. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]ithout thinking, I looked at him and ! said , 'I think I like playing with men's balls' [/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]THIRD TESTIMONY: [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]My sister and I were at the mall and [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]passed by a store that sold a [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]variety of candy and nuts. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]As we were looking at the display case, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]My sister started to laugh hysterically. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]To this day, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]my sister has never let me forget..[/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FOURTH TESTIMONY[/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] : [/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]While in line at the bank one afternoon,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]my toddler decided to release[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]some pent-up energy and ran amok.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I was finally able to grab hold of[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]her after receiving looks of disgust[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and annoyance from other patrons.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I told her that if she did not start behaving[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]right now' she would be punished.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'If you don't let me go right now, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I will tell Grandma that I saw you [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I mustered up the last of my dignity and [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter. [/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FIFTH TESTIMONY: [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It was very busy, with a full dining room. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]While enjoying my taco, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I smelled something funny,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]so of course I checked[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The realized that Danny [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]had not asked to go potty in a while. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I asked him if he needed to go,[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and he said 'No' [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I kept thinking [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Then I said, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'No,' he replied. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time hejumped up, yanked down his pants, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]bent over, spread his cheeks [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]and yelled [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]'SEE ! MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]An old couple made me feel better, [/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! [/FONT]​

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][/FONT]​