I don't think you could classify them in any way shape or form. Just too many variables. The situation reminded me of a movie I saw a long time ago, can't remember the name of it but the main character's father dressed like a woman and was going for the "operation". When asked, "was it because you wanted men"? He said "no, I love women and will still want women after the operation". I think they brought up the fact that while he felt he was meant to be a woman, he was meant to be a LESBIAN woman.
As for not labling people, it just helps us organize our thoughts. Just because someone may be called gay, bi or lesbian and we call them that, doesn't mean it is derogatory. Just because someone is different, and we acknowledge that difference, doesn't mean it's wrong, or they're wrong.
One thing that us straight people have trouble with though is like something I encountered with the transexual: I couldn't win...ever. No matter what I said, or how I treated them, I was wrong. For eg: WIth a guy, (this was a cabinet shop), if they can't lift their end of a big cabinet, you say "come on you pussy, put your back into it". With this person? They'd get offended. Now we had women working there as well. One was tiny and I would never ask her to help carry this large cabinet. Well with this person, if I DIDN'T ask them to help, they'd get offended because they thought of themselves as a man and I SHOULD ask them to help.