Three Blondes Die In A Car Accident

[billys_office]

Three blondes died together in an automobile accident on Easter Sunday. As they line up at the Pearly Gates of heaven, St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..."

"Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?"

The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?"

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."

"Oh really?" says St. Peter, incredulously.

"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."

 

[#1 Cat Lover!]

RG, your joke reminds me of this one

********************
Bill Gates died in a car accident. Arriving at the pearly gates, he
finds himself being sized up by St. Peter.

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. mpter all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before.....

I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

"So what's the difference between the two?" Bill asked.

St. Peter said, "I could let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."

"Fine! Where should I go first?"

"You decide."

"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."

So Bill Gates went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and Reviewolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.

"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I'd REALLY like to see heaven!"

"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went. Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but nothing like Hell. It didn't take long for Bill to reach his decision.

"I think I prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.

So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in a dark cave, being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going?" he asked Bill Gates.

His voice filled with anguish and disappointment, Bill responded, "this is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?"

"Oh, that was a demo," replied St. Peter. "This is the release version."

 

[calley]

Hahahah LOL for both jokes,good ones!

 

[uchaboo]

I always get such a kick out of your jokes. Thank You again for a good laugh to start my day.