What do you drink?

[Veronica Alicia]

PEOPLE & THEIR DRINKS
A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered? Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

IF WOMEN DRINK...

Beer: Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Thingytails or Blender drinks with umbrella: Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass. Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be cabin boy

Mixed drinks - no umbrellas e.g.; Scotch and soda: Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Water: Personality: Pretentious and is looking for a serious relationship. Approach: Don't

Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask): Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers, Smirnoff Ice, etc: Personality:> Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue. Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... and you're in.

Cape Velvet/Baileys: Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart. Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Shots and Slammers (Tequila, Vodka, Aftershock etc.): Personality: around with male work pals or looking to get drunk... and naked.: Easiest hit in the pub, Nothing to do but wait...

IF MEN DRINK... (As always, very simple and clear cut.)
Cider: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

Water: He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated help him get laid.

Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

Whisky: He doesn't give two $hits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Rum or Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Archers, Smirnoff Ice, etc: He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change.

 

[Vampyre Chan =]]

That is sooo funny - thank you for brightening up my monring![sm=rollaugh.gif][sm=rollaugh.gif]

 

[debijs]

Well I drink gallons of water and wouldn't say that I am in the least pretentious. As for the looking for a relationship stuff, I am very happy with the one I have thank you very much. It still made me laugh though.

June

 

[dfsadfagdagda]

Chardonnay, and my clothes are in tatters. Any offers to take me to Paris? No, oh well, I tried. It's back to the charity shops then.[sm=dance.gif]

 

[JoShY,.<>]

I'll have a pint of bitter and a packet of cheese & onion [sm=flylicker.gif]

 

[Kaitlin]

Yep! Im a voddy girl......What can I say!

Tx