What should I have said? (inadvertent bumping)

[arslan_018]

I'm happy to have found a serious place to ask professional massage therapists for their opinion on this incident that happened during a recent routine massage session.

My wife and I [male] are experienced Montreal-area massage enthusiasts. We have been booking couples' massages (simultaneous massage, side by side with two massage therapists) at least twice a month for the past number of years. We have found a few studios that have talented therapists that consistently give excellent massages. Two days ago, we visited one of these excellent studios.

I had a female therapist that I had never seen before, who demonstrated sueforum.xxx talent. Her motions were rhythmic and fluid, almost artistic. I started out on my stomach, then turned over to my back. Preparing to massage my left leg, she moved the sheets across the leg and up to the top of the hip. This isn't anything new; I have had this before and I know that it is to have access to the quads, which do appreciate some work.

Anyway, during one of the up strokes, her finger must have gone slightly under the sheet and it poked my member. I was startled and didn't say anything. I know that she noticed it because there a pause. She then resumed and it never happened again and she completed the massage normally. After the massage, my wife and I returned to the lobby area where the two massage therapists were waiting. I felt a bit awkward while talking to my therapist. I feel that she might have felt awkward as well. On the drive home, I mentioned it to my wife, who didn't see it as an issue. I'm worried about what she may be thinking about me now. I even feel nervous thinking about going back there, but it's one of my favourite studios. Now, I have no issue with the accidental poking. I have no doubt whatsoever that it was an accident. This is an upscale studio. I'm worried that because I said nothing, she might think poorly of me as if I wanted her to do that again or that I let her do it while my wife was on the table beside me.

The purpose of this posting is to ask the professional therapists here for their opinion:
You can give me your opinion on what you believe she was thinking, but I'd also like to know what you would think if this happened to you: you're participating in a couples' massage. You're massaging the male and there is accidental poking. The male doesn't react. What is your honest opinion?

I thank you for your candid and serious replies.

RFG

 

[magnoliafan]

What should I have said? (inadvertent bumping)

you're participating in a couples' massage. You're massaging the male and there is accidental poking. The male doesn't react. What is your honest opinion?

She was probably too embarrassed and more worried about what you thought of her. At least that's what would be going through my mind. Most of us get pretty good at knowing when a client wants something inappropriate, and it being in a couples massage setting, I highly doubt she was worried about it.

 

[M D]

What should I have said? (inadvertent bumping)

She was probably too embarrassed and more worried about what you thought of her.

Thank you for your reply.
In retrospect, I am feeling as if a discreet "Ooops" might have been appropriate on my part. Just to acknowledge the event, but also imply that it was no big deal.

 

[Kayrea]

What should I have said? (inadvertent bumping)

She then resumed and it never happened again and she completed the massage normally.

I'm worried that because I said nothing, she might think poorly of me as if I wanted her to do that again or that I let her do it while my wife was on the table beside me.

From your post, it is obvious that she didn't do it on purpose, nor that you "let" her do anything. As far as I am concerened, your wife being on the next table is a non-issue.

I've had just a minimal few incidents in the past 15+ years where I have accidentally poked someone's 'something'. In a situation like that, it can be un-nerving when my flow has been interrupted and likewise that I may have inadvertantly made the client uncomfortable, but it's nothing more than that.

Once I realize a particular client may be "dressing to the right or left" when on the table, I just make sure to be a little more aware of how I work in order to reduce the chance of it happening again.

It is not something I stress out about or focus on.

In retrospect, I am feeling as if a discreet "Ooops" might have been appropriate on my part. Just to acknowledge the event, but also imply that it was no big deal.

I don't think so.

 

[Chelsea N]

What should I have said? (inadvertent bumping)

In retrospect, I am feeling as if a discreet "Ooops" might have been appropriate on my part. Just to acknowledge the event, but also imply that it was no big deal.

I don't think so.

Really? No acknowledgement at all? Interesting.
Thank you for your reply.

 

[Princess Minx]

What should I have said? (inadvertent bumping)

In retrospect, I am feeling as if a discreet "Ooops" might have been appropriate on my part. Just to acknowledge the event, but also imply that it was no big deal.

I don't think so.

Really? No acknowledgement at all? Interesting.
Thank you for your reply.

Yes - "really".

There is nothing for you to acknowledge, and "oops" would imply that you did something.

According to you, you were receiving a massage passively. You didn't place any body parts in any places you expected they would be inadvertantly poked.

 

[Rod]

What should I have said? (inadvertent bumping)

I would let it go. Was an accident that you both recognize as such. I am sure she will be extra careful during the next session to ensure it doesn't happen again so... nothing need be said.

 

[this_heart-it_beats]

What should I have said? (inadvertent bumping)

It was an awkward moment. She's probably glad you didn't say anything. It was an accident. No need to think any more about it.