Whats the funniest thing that has happened?

[Cienna]

What is the funniest thing that has happened to you inside of the massage room. Let's Not mention any Attendant names or locations, lets not embarrass anyone.

Has anyone ever:

a) Cracked a fart blast just before the attendant walked in the room?

b) Done a sexy pose to impress the attendant when she comes in?

c) Fallen off some of those narrow massage tables?

d) Gotten up and seen they have left a big brown landing strip on the table?

From my many massage field trips the funniest and grossest thing that happened to me was when an attendant, after my blast, let go a blast of her own. She let go a big sneeze, in turn losing control of her pee hole valve and ended up pissing all over my arm.

Plus I always try sexy posing when the attendant walks in but I think each one failed in the sexiness department.

 

[stacy]

I have fallen asleep on the table while waiting (we all know sometimes it takes forever), and when she walked in I was startled and fell of the table.

One MPA had some wicked body odor (a rancid smell that I have only smelt at the gym or at a construction site) that was so bad I could not even get an erection. After the session I saw the MPA wipe down her body with a wet towel rather than shower which made me believe the smell may not have been hers, but rather the body odor from a previous customer. I was very repulsed to say the least.

 

[Brutus]

I've had asian MPs fart a few times... I noticed the chinese women to be very.....un finished

 

[subhasish g]

What do you mean by "unfinished"?

 

[cta-music.com]

I was at CREDITSTONE spa in CONCORD back in the day. To many TATS on a girl is a turn off and it wont go up.. So I picked this lady had a HUGE tat on her back side leg and arm (didnt see them when she came to introduce her self) So during our session (40 min) her phone rings 4 times SHE ANSWERS it and while giving me a body slide is talking to her friend and said sorry to me. Then in the turn it wouldnt go up so she said fuck this JERK OFF your self and she started masturbating and getting all hot hahah that was funny..,... I paid her 60 instead of 100 she said O YOUR NICE come next time and i will do EXTRAS and did her wink...

 

[freshfromrwc]

During a shower massage session, we flooded the room about 2 or 3 inches deep. The shower door was faulty, leaking water onto the floor. It was funny, she apologized, moved our clothes to dry land. We continued our massage on the table, happy ending. The water leaked into the hall(carpet) and I think her purse was pooched too. I felt bad, her having to clean it up and maybe get in trouble. But I had to go and catch my ride home.
My feeling was it was the owner's fault for having a leaking shower door.

 

[Apple456689]

MPA talks on cell phone while giving me a happy

MPA says want a BJ ? and starts CIMSW before I answer (she knew what my answer would be somehow and no extra charge )

At one MP where there was no happy allowed we stand in a corner away from the peephole for a happy because she wanted the fun

One MP with most gorgeous breasts u will ever see says extra $20 to touch and I say no and she stops and becomes silent I guess she never heard no before

 

[Ben]

this is interesting. would probably get a good laugh, and be a good icebreaker for the session, especially with a new girl

 

[GemMouse]

Cimsw?

 

[Aly]

Cum in mouth and swallow

 

[OscarMeyerRina<3]

Had an SP ask if we could do "Italian" as she had never tried it before. When I erupted, the shot hit her right on the back of her head. She was very relaxed about it, and laughed it off.

 

[Prometheus]

I assumed he meant uncouth.

 

[Sinwa]

I actually have this story on another thread, but it was priceless.

A MP on Eg west about 2 years ago. I walked in and 2 Asians working that evening about 9 PM. Paid $40 for 30 minutes. As I waited in the room I could hear the 2 Asians talk, almost arguing in Chinese for about -2-3 minutes. She came back in and said to wait 10 minutes, the other girl will come in and massage me. A dozed off and woke up looking at my watch, and it was around 9:45. I put my pants back on, opened the door, and called for the girls and nobody was around. The place was closed, girls gone, and they somehow forgot about me.

I walked out leaving the door unlocked. I just paid $40 to take a 45 minute nap!! I called next day, and she told me a girl was fired last night. I asked for my money back, and it wasn't easy. She did offer me a "free massage" saying the other girl took my money and left.

 

[Illana M]

That's hilarious!!!

 

[Pompal 09.]

I paid my fee and took my shower while waiting for the girl to arrive. She comes in, tells me to remove my towel so we'll get started. I do but then she says oh it's extra for services. (Duh) We negotiate the price (Remember I'm standing there stark naked now) as I go to get my wallet. All the while she's trying to keep a straight face but laughing the entire time.

 

[Nude]

I was at an asian massage once and while the attendant was trying to give me an oil change the lights in the room started to flicker. Either this was a disco effect or something was about to go down. I asked her if that means police and she said don't worry while she quickly was putting back on her clothes. I quickly flipped over and at this point I was shitting my pants or actually shitting my towel because I had no pants on. After she finished putting on everything, a policeman opens the door and thank god all he said was "oh someones in here" and closed the door. The lady quickly left the room and kept telling me not to worry. I noticed she left her bra on the stool. I got up and stuffed it under the massage table, I didn't want to leave it in plain site. I then was thinking about questions the police may ask me and what i would say. Next thing that came to mind was some kind of MacGyver escape. Lets see I had a table cover, my shoes laces, a box of kleenex, her bra, a pillow and lots of lotion, No escape for me. If only I had a Hot Towel. I could have used it as a distraction. 10 agonizing minutes later the
lady came back in and told me they were just checking her license and that it was her first day. She then proceeded to tell me to turn over so she can complete the job while the police were still in the place.

It was an interesting adventure. The best thing is this place was a cartwheel away from my parents house.

 

[CF_]

My story is also posted in here somewhere else.

It happened AFTER leaving the old I.T.

This really was my crowning glory. I think my life has been all downhill in terms of wit-on-demand abilities since this event. It truly is a shame there were no witnesses to this other than the other people involved.

After having a session with either Monique or Jasmine, I was walking to my car out front of IT.

Next thing I know, I'm approached by a bald guy and a decently attractive reddish-brown haired woman, both wearing cheap sun glasses and nylon wind breakers. The following is fairly accurate transcript of what happened:

Bald Guy: Excuse me Sir?
Remo: (Glaring) Yeah what can I do for you?
Bald Guy : (Flashes a Badge like thing and ID) Police.
Remo (Momentarily Shirts Pants and Reads Badge) That says By-law enforcement not Police.
Bald Guy: Same thing.
Remo: No its not. Anyway what can I help you with?
Bald Guy: Do you know the place you just came out of was illegal?
Remo: Illegal? Why does it have a business licence hanging right over the front door?
Bald Guy: Well, the place isn't illegal but what they do in there is illegal.
Remo: Getting a massage is illegal?
Bald Guy: No getting a massage isn't illegal. But the extras are illegal.
Remo: Extras? What extras?
Bald Guy: You know, Blow Jobs and stuff like that.
Remo: Blow Jobs! No one gave me a Blow Job! Can you come in with me so I can get my money back. That girl was hot, she never even offered me a Blow Job.
Bald Guy: Well, look, just stay out of the other places in this plaza they are filthy.
Remo: Ok sure. Thanks.


Got in car, broke a flop sweat and started laughing my head off. The girl just stood there through the whole exchange and glared at me. I don't know where it came from, but if he didn't flash the badge thing at me I probably would have been freaked out. But there it was, By-law. I guess my mind just knew I was fairly safe and the rest came out like that.

 

[Never Shout Tammii]

aaaaaahahahahaaaa

 

[Chopsmom]

I was "walked in" on once in Boston. Flat on my back nude and the girl just smiles and says "soorry" and leaves.