whats up with these men?!

[soozyvown]

i work in a hotel on occassions, sometimes i get a treatment room but as i am freelance, more often than not, i get called in to work on a saturday as its busy, and i get a hotel room or worse, a conference room.

i actually quite like these rooms as the treatment rooms are yuk and the hotel rooms are more ambient. but i have to trail back and forth to get each client, which is very tiring, unles one of the youngsters helps me (which they do, when allowed!).

i digress! my question is... why do men think they can stroll up for a massage wearing no pants? not once has a woman come along with no pants on, so why do men think this is ok? my last client saturday was a stocly little guy for a full body massage. now, at the end of a 6 hour shift, the last thing i want is a full body, let alone on a man... they are just tougher to do, sorry! i was in a conference room, actually no where near anyone else, no phone and this guy apparently has no pants on! i am always very specific in my instruction of what to take off and what i shall do in the treatment, so luckily he hadnt dropped his kecks. i told him that it was policy and apart from anything else, unhygienic. i made him go all the way back to his room and put pants on. i know i didnt do a particularly good treatment after that, i was tired and frankly, ticked off, and in a remote room with no contact easily.

i dont think i am being prudish. i almost think it is a little disrespectful to turn up like this. it sends out signals that maybe i shouldnt be sensitive to, but we are in a business that does have connotations. he thought i could just "cover him up". bloody cheek!

what say you?

 

[dado]

Hiya Risie,

I cant comment on the therapy thing as I am not a therapist, but I can see where you are coming from, but I used to tend a hotel bar a long time ago, and found that the men that booked in, on business, were always a hand full, espically the married ones, they used to make a pass at any female, and thought that they were irrestiable[&:]
I used to put it down to being away form home where I assumed they were henpecked, and that old saying " while the cats away" always sprung to mind. That might be a sweeping generalisation but that is what I found

 

[SocramZ]

Hi Rosie

This is not just a man thing

When people are used to receiving massages they often chose not to ware anything and feel more comfortable that way, personally I am not bothered about people without clothes as you are treating the person not the clothes, this seems to be more of a problem in the UK as opposed to the continent where it is apparently normal to receive massage without any clothes

 

[Pompal 09.]

I think Paul is right here in that it could be a UK (and Ireland) thing. I personally would feel though very uncomfortable giving a treatment to someone in the nip, male or female but that's me and my issues.

I was on hols before in the east and visited a day spa with my sis in law. We were both advise to strip, shower and then go into the jacussi pre treatment... stakers for all. Me being me was totally embarrassed by the notion of it and so I was led to a separate area so I could shower and jacussi on my own and given paper towle pants for the treatment. They thought I was weird! Aparently in Japan it is like an insult not to bath in the nip with other women.

I do think we are repressed over here about such things but it will be something I am not sure I could ever get my head around.

Jac
xxx

 

[Rainbow Child]

Hi Rosie

The arrogance of some men amazes me. I had one recently who completely stripped off and I was very uncomfortable with it. During the massage he talked about a Jamaican woman in Handsworth he used to go to who massaged him all over.....every inch if you know what I mean. I firmly stated that I was a professional and that was not the sort of massage I gave. He replied that he understood it and had no problems with it. He went on to say that he had been to a place where young topless girls 'massaged' him and this was not what he was looking for. What he wanted was a proper aromatherapy massage where he could feel completely relaxed. Although I firmly believe he came to me for the right reasons it didn't take away my feelings of discomfort throughout the massage. I would not treat him again.

It has not done much for my confidence I can tell you. In hindsight I should have asked him to put his pants back on but as you know I am rather new to this and it is difficult to know what to do for the best.

yasmin xx

 

[Roandiday]

Reply to all:

Would it not be possible to give potential clients some guidelines prior to the treatment, so they know exactly what's on offer and what isn't, and for their part, what to take off/leave on?

When I was previously offering Reiki treatments in my home (although these are done with the patient fully clothed) I got the occasional dodgy sounding caller (always a male). I told them that I worked in the therapy room of a holistic centre and they never rang back. Funny, that.

Holistic

 

[Master Mister]

Just to add my comment on this, from my oersoective i prefer if people take their underwear off rather than keep them on! although i always say that people have a choice as to waht they keep on.
For me the underwear very often gets in the way of the massage, more so on women especially those stringy underwear that cover nothing much anyway but are worn halfway up the back !! so irritating!!
i think that as a mature way to approach massage is to be comfortablewith ours and other peoples bodies, massage is of course a non-medical and non-sexual touch and its good to make that clear if you get a client (male or female) that seems to think otherwise so i comletley understand when people get freaked at men takling off their underwear but hey c'mon girls we are not all perverts!!
i mean the clients are covered anyway to preserve decency..but at the end of the day its the clients choice ( or the therapsit if htey are uncomfortable massaging people without underwear) .

ok thats me for today .....
kind regards
paul

 

[blue eyed blondie]

i agree that its a british thing as i do know that in europe (turkey for example) massage is given with no clothes on BUT its a turkish bath massage and quite different to a massage for relaxing in a hotel.

what does one tuck the towel in with no pants? as for ladies teeny g strings, again, tuck the towel in and pull them down to the required level.

it still begs the question as to why men go commando for these things and women, in my experience, dont! i am sure he was perfectly nice but maybe one should it play it safe in non familiar surroundings.

as i said, i always say before the treatment what to take off and i have suggested the hotel mention a dress code for future.

lol to holistic... whats on offer and whats not!!!!

 

[No One]

As a newbie- in with both feet - is my dismissal imminent ?

I do not see how one can either give or receive a massage without being relaxed about THE BODY.

Clothes get in the way, and that is not intended to say that modesty cannot be preserved at all times.

This also raises that thorny question of which parts of the body get massaged. And it is related to the clothing issue you have raised. And Rosie I really do not think the issue with your client was clothing, it was his conversation. I presume you have not retained him as a client.

The worst massage I ever received was one in which my thighs seemed to end 3 inches above the knee, the back massage was then picked up on the small of the back, and on the front, with the same missing thighs my abdomen was missed out with perfunctory treatment to my chest.

Yes both parties should have a clear understanding of what is involved, and if you had told your client to keep his pants on then he was in the wrong.

Sorry about the boring name, I am also a dormant member of the "I didn't realise what fantastic names were in use and can I change my name club"

 

[Eds]

Hi Alistair, and welcome to HP, boring name or not! It's nice to have another male therapist amongst us girlies. Dismissal, I think not. In with both feet? What other way is there?

Fill in your profile so we can all have a sneaky look and find out more about you?

 

[Crystal Powell]

Hmm, it's a difficult one this!!!

I think I prefer my clients to wear something - but - I have my preferences.


I hate the boxer shorts that sometimes wear that are slightly fitted at the top of the leg. You can't shift them to do a gluteal massage, so you do it through the material - not really aproblem - but I always think you are stretching the material and they end up with baggy, misshapen pants!!

I think I prefer thongs, though I do see paulg's point - but usually I tuck a towel in the top of the knickers/pants and move them down to the hip telling the client that that is what I am going to do, why and check if its OK.

I have discovered in myself that whilst I don't worry about what is exposed when my own body is being treated as soon as the treatment stops I want to covered up. The relationship changes from being a client/patient to a more informal situation and I feel slightly uncomfortable being the only one with very little on!!

Hmm, difficult one this

FB

[sm=scratchchin.gif]

 

[Xaarrb]

well here's my two penneth...

I have had both male and female turn up without pants. I keep disposable thongs in my drawers if needed. Boxer shorts yuk too low on the legs and too high on the back, yes i pull the pants/knicks down and no i dont tuck in towels, this can feel uncomfortable and bulky. Now do i have an issue with working on Nudies, well not my preference but could i see a genuine reason why not - No. Except recently working on a very high up goin strain on a man i did get him to splay his hip out to one side and then just asked him to tuck his bits in with the towel so i could work right up i checked he was comfortable with my hands there he was. Its only a penis - its not going to jump up and bite us obviously if they become stimulated then that is a different situation. The worst bit for me is very long pubic hair when you are working close in...much worse. If I am working on gluts/groin etc and client only has boxers i get them turn up in speedos so i have full decent access...

T
xxx

 

[stupidone!]

is this sports/ remedial massage?

 

[creed]

False pretences strike - but on reviewing my post I did not.

I am an amateur, not a professional, I have done a full practical massage course, but nothing else. It is from this distinctly unqualified position that I made my comments, but there are two sides to any argument, and with one exeption you have all been arguing the case from the practitioners viewpoint.

As a therapist running a practice you are of course entirely in charge of how you wish to do it, but I also offer the customers viewpoint, and mine is that the more clothes are left on, the more massage gets left off ! And speaking personally I have never worn a thong, I don't like boxers, and my y fronts cover up my largest muscles.

By the way Tigerbee, I thought this thread was all about the limits about what to wear (or not to wear), not what extra to put on - drawers and thongs - you must be a difficult one !

I do live in Surrey, and I was not that man

And Candie, I wil review my limited profile, but there is more personal stuff about me in the cancer and mens health sub forums

 

[Baby Gurl]

hi alastair,

its quite interesting, isnt it, getting everyone's viewpoint. your point is valid, of course, but i guess you wont be coming to me for a massage in a hurry ;o), which is fine, btw... nasty, hairy, smelly men <wg>.

actually, i just re read your post, hmmm, no it wasnt his conversation, although to be honest i wasnt getting a good vibe from him. no i am not a prude but i also dont do sports or remedial massage. a relaxing massage, as a one off remember, doesnt usually require heavy work on gluts or groins. as he was a hotel guest, no i wont be seeing him again.

yes, as a therapist, i do call the shots when it comes to appropriateness. i guess if clients arent happy with the sort of massage i do, they wont come back or they could complain when i am in the hotel environment.

remember, this was a one off massage, in a hotel *beauty* theraoy area, where only relaxing massage is on offer.

 

[kysteves]

Not difficult at all alrl just getting the best for both pracititioner and client.
T
x

 

[zdrsxvxc]

i havent had this problem (still training with the massage) however i know a female therapist who has and her client did get excited and also said things that made her very uncomfortable so she smacked 'it' and told him he was a dirty old man!!!

i think the problem is that there is the old 'massage' connotation and we all have to be very careful especially in the situation that you were in rosie. i remember reading on HP quite a while ago that someone had a call asking if they could have *** on the couch while being massaged.

our massage tutor said if doing men its best to start working on their front. dont really know if this would work or not.