Why am I afraid to chat with guys? HELP!?

Escape

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Im 19 years old.
There was a guy I really liked, I worked so hard to win him over. And he rejected me. Then, I met my now ex boyfriend. He was my first kiss, and we were together 6 months when he told me he loved me for the first time..and then dumped me a week later.
A couple months later..I worked up the guts to seek out, add and start a facebook chat conversation with a guy I'd know since I was a little kid (truely, the first guy I ever liked.) A month later he admitted he liked me, then..went on a short vacation, and found a 15 year old that was more appealing.
Now...Im petrified to chat with guys on the computer at all. Forget in person--that one doesnt happen. Ive started a terrible habit of hating to look people of either gender in the eyes anymore.
FOR EXAMPLE, THERES A GUY I BARELY KNOW, THAT I SENT A FRIEND REQUEST TO TWO YEARS AGO. HE ACCEPTED, BUT I PROBABLY SEEMED LIKE A CREEPER. I started a convo with him last fall, and ended up accidently insulting him. I started a convo with him again this spring, and it was short but sweet (he found an excuse to get off...).
Now..Months later..I sit here looking at facebook chat..and he's online, and Im literally logging off because I dont want ot be tempted ot say hi. This voice in my head says, "WHY EVEN BOTHER? YOULL JUST ANNOY HIM. Youll either look desperate, or like an ***. One of those annoying fan people you dont wanna talk to. He‘d never be interested anyways."
WHY AM I LIKE THIS? HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
 
You were wearing your heart on your sleeve, so when you got rejected it hurt like hell... you have built a wall or barrier around yourself to protect yourself. but; in reality it will cause more damage than good.because; now you will become distant, and withdrawn in communication with guys and this builds an invisible fear of doing so.This is why you now turn a cold shoulder and do not make the attempt to bother...no relationship is perfect or starts off on the right foot it takes time and understanding to build a solid relationship that would stand the test of time. But if you do not make an effort to communicate your feelings, you close yourself off from others, and no relationship can start that way.keep in mind it takes time to find some-one who will not reject you but in your search keep your guard up as there are a lot of creeps and weirdo's players and users, and pervs out there. but then you wont know this because you reserve yourself from the first step saying Hi...look the best way to over come this is just say to yourself that rejection is unavoidable it happens its just that you are not compatible with their needs. Or; they are not compatible with your needs but you have to keep trying and remember it all starts with Hi........
 
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