Why, Why, Why?

[Rachel Williams]

[ol][*]Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?[*]Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they already know you don't have enough money?[*]Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check with their finger when you say the paint is wet?[*]Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?[*]Why does the government require that only sterilized needles be used for death by lethal injection?[*]Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?[*]Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?[*]Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?[*]Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?[*]If people evolved from apes, did some apes choose not to evolve?[*]Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?[*]Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?[*]Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?[*]Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?[*]Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the top end on your first try?[*]How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?[*]When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"[*]Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?[*]In Winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in the Summer, when we complained about it being to hot?[*]How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?[*]And my FAVORITE......
Statistics on sanity show that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then... it's you[/ol]
(NM)

 

[questionable]

Thank you for making me smile after a long, dullday at work! These are hilarious! Hope you don't mind but I'm going to pinch them and send them inan e-mail on to my friends!

 

[Pat Jenkins]

There are some real gems in there!