Winning Smart Ass Answers

[Chetco]

Smart Ass Answer #4:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he
opened his trench coat and flashed at her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket
not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #3:
A lady was picking through the Reviewozen turkeys at the grocery store,
but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #2:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
without a ticket.

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack, or a serious personal injury, or
illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no
other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering Reviewom
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the
student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have
to write the exam with your other hand.