Wise Words

[lolita.]

This came through the other day on an american email list....

WISE WORDS...

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes
out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
replacement.
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
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Life is sexually transmitted.
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who
said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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Get the last word in: Apologize.
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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
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Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they use to?
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Whenever you feel blue, start breathing again.
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut save you thirty cents???
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In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first??
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire??

 

[Gymmy Superstar]

Johnathan..... How true and funny these are Thanks x

 

[Willy Wonka]

Thanks Jonathan they were good.

L&L

MC