Writers, is this a good way to introduce chapter 2 in my novel?

[Christian Brooks]

Okay well you'll probably be lost so on chapter 1 the group leaves town to go on a adventure. here it is
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"When will we get there?" Terris voice began to came very annoying. Every other hour he does this very large horrifying grunt, smacks his teeth a little and ask 'when will we get there?' "Look Terris, were not going to get there if you keep running your mouth!" I yelled! "I can run my mouth all i want to!" "Or you could just Shut Up!" Terris sat up and looked directly in my eyes "who made you all high and mighty?" "No one your just getting on everyone nerves!" "your too young to have NERVES!" I stood up and he stood up preparing to fight but Alina got in the way and placed her right hand on my chest and her left on Terris chest "LOOK!, Calm down! we have been flying for four hours straight! I know were all a little cranky because our bums hurt bad! but please lets just push it back and enjoy the rest of the ride" She dropped her arms but was still standing between us "sit" she demanded so we both sat down "does anyone want some water?" "I do" Micah said Finally looking up from his papers. After we got Through the Perimeter area, Micah placed the ship on auto pilot and just ruffled through old papers and looked at some dusty books. Alina handed us a cup of water and layed back down facing the clouds. Once we were finished, we but them in a basket labeled dirty dishes. "No seriously Micah, how far are we from The Lilan sea?" Alina asked "well believe it or not-" Micah stood up and leaned over to get a glimpse at the sea "believe what?" I stood up and walked to were he was "we actually are on the Lilan sea" soon enough everyone stood up and leaned over making the ship tilt a little.
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??? Questions? comments? Concerns?

 

[HP Resource]

1) The formatting needs a lot of work. The "block of text" is not how stories are told effectively. Separate your paragraphs when a new line of dialogue begins, or when a new thought begins.

2) Always capitalize the beginning of a new sentence. Basics.

3) If you want to say "you are" it's "you're" - if you want to say "we are" it's "we're". Basics.

4) This whole scene feels unnecessary. It could be summed up in 2 sentences.

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It was a long and stressful journey to Lilan Sea, especially with Terris complaining the whole four hours. Finally, Micah announced that we were there, and everyone rushed to the side of the ship, making it tilt a little.
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There's nothing else that's really that great about your scene to make it worth all this space. The more you can say in the fewest words, the better. The arguments in your scene feel pointless and slow down the action.

Those are my opinions at least.