Insights from Veterans

[adam9943]

Younger guy (30s). Recently broke up and started hobbying again. Been hitting up MPAs and SCs.

These places are rammed with married men/ very busy places. I didn't realize how common this was. I sense monogamy is a sham; men just don't talk about with each other to avoid being exposed. Is my assumption false?

Also..the number of hot women moving through these places really makes me question that dating pool. All the modelesque friends I had/have who seem to have a good income but no real "job". I imagine none of their current boyfriends/ partners know.

I feel slightly disillusioned here.

 

[ErikLehn]

I'm also in my early 30s, and have been hobbying since my mid-20s with some breaks in between thru the years

Personally I don't mix dating and hobbying at the same time. As there's too many risks of things overlapping and I'd want to fully engaged if I'm in a meaningful relationship

But I find hobbying to be a happy phase of life where I can enjoy some no strings attached fun with girls who I vibe well with on a regular rotation. So I don't feel motivated to get back into dating for long periods of time depending if my rotation are active in the biz or not

With that said, I don't really mention about hobbying to anyone in my civvie life though. I got a bunch of male friends who are also single, but there's prob only one guy who I've brought up going to MPs with. So I kinda keep it to myself or post on forums

 

[adam9943]

I'm also in my early 30s, and have been hobbying since my mid-20s with some breaks in between thru the years

Personally I don't mix dating and hobbying at the same time. As there's too many risks of things overlapping and I'd want to fully engaged if I'm in a meaningful relationship

But I find hobbying to be a happy phase of life where I can enjoy some no strings attached fun with girls who I vibe well with on a regular rotation. So I don't feel motivated to get back into dating for long periods of time depending if my rotation are active in the biz or not

With that said, I don't really mention about hobbying to anyone in my civvie life though. I got a bunch of male friends who are also single, but there's prob only one guy who I've brought up going to MPs with. So I kinda keep it to myself or post on forums

Same, I have never once had a friend mention they use any of these businesses other than vanilla experiences at strip clubs. Nor have I started my experience with anyone outside of forums.

None of my married friends are happy. None of them. The divorced ones are even worse off. Some it destroyed.

They meet some of the women I see. They are even less happy. lol

Life is all about choices.

I get the sense, middle aged men with the conventional nuclear families are out and about at these establishments in numbers grossly underestimated by the general public.

 

[xtc27]

Hmm… few things 2 unpack…

Monogamy = sham? Well, u wanna have kids & family bonded 2u, then u need 2stick w a girl that sticks w you… unless yer ok w raising other people’s kids!

Married men hobbying? No sh!t sherlock!

Reality is, if sex = not w potential rival… wives allot less concerned… oh, theyll kill him if they find out, but … their antennae attuned 4 mistresses & luvers… if he seems invested in relationship, theyre not that suspicious…

Sad fact also, some wives dont give a shit, some disabled, dont like sex… so I dont judge married men till I walked a mile in their shoes.

Are we naturally monogamous? Well, yer pecker’d only work w one gal, & it clearly works w many, so… not really … but u can stick w one woman 4 allotta yrs if she puts out frequently

 

[Boston Man Chowder]

In my early 30s as well. I casually date and hobby at the same time. After my girlfriend passed away when I was 24, I discovered the spa business by accident. I became dependent on it for awhile to help get over the tragedy and eventually got attached to the first woman I saw. Years later, I've learned to rein in my spending and visits. The only time I've ever felt any form of addiction is when I have a regular and even that is limited to twice or thrice a month.

This subject is no longer taboo to me and the people in my life. Everyone at work or some of my personal friends are so open about seeing escorts and going for a rub and tug. My family knows I do this. It's not a big deal.

 

[Deleted member 86964]

In my early 30s as well. I casually date and hobby at the same time. After my girlfriend passed away when I was 24, I discovered the spa business by accident. I became dependent on it for awhile to help get over the tragedy and eventually got attached to the first woman I saw. Years later, I've learned to rein in my spending and visits. The only time I've ever felt any form of addiction is when I have a regular and even that is limited to twice or thrice a month.

This subject is no longer taboo to me and the people in my life. Everyone at work or some of my personal friends are so open about seeing escorts and going for a rub and tug. My family knows I do this. It's not a big deal.

That’s heartbreaking. My condolences to you no matter how far in the past it was.

Glad to hear sounds like you’re doing good.

 

[Boston Man Chowder]

That’s heartbreaking. My condolences to you no matter how far in the past it was.

Glad to hear sounds like you’re doing good.

Thanks man. It means a lot. I'm happy you have a gem to help take your mind off the madness of the real world.

I've learned to embrace being single. I'm damaged goods though and can no longer give a good woman the attention and commitment she deserves. That's why I see these industry ladies. I'm chasing the euphoria and when our time together is up, I'm happy that I got to experience that temporary high. It also makes me feel young again lol.

 

[Deleted member 101953]

I'm an incel (hate that fucking word with a passion!) but not to the point where I desperately need to buy an enhanced machine gun and destroy the lives of 50 ordinary civilians just cuz I couldn't get laid or find a civvy girlfriend. I'm no Travis Bickle (don't drive an Uber cab for that matter) but definitely do kno what it feels to be lonely and rejected especially by the opposite sex.

Got in the hobby game by accident and later found forums online where ppl were detailing their success/defeat stories of a recent DANCERS/SP/MPA/PS etc they've just encountered. What turned me on even more was how some of these guys would bond online and give out advice to each other on who to see and who not to see. How should a John behave when he's been bitten by the smitten bug or the amount of money he should properly spend on a industry girl or how to kick a pimp's ass if he single handedly tried to rob him out of $80 bucks.

In public, I'm somewhat shy and socially awkward (especially talking to women) I just can't be bothered going up to a regular chick and having the courage to think of an interesting topic to ask her about. I'm sure most of them have heard them all anyways. It's embarrassing when they leave you on the spot because they found you to be weird, strange or boring. Or he was trying very hard to get her to like him and in the end, made a complete schmuck of himself. That's why it's suitable for me to seeing industry chicks rather then civvy chicks. It's just me and her in the room. I'll pay my dues upfront for her to witness that I'm not fucking around. Anxiety is out the door. I can ask her the same tiresome questions that she hears every client asks of her about just so that she can feel safe. We stare into each others eyes while lust and sin creeps into the subconscious.

An industry girl can sometimes give me that cocaine high feeling when they drain out my balls or they start laughing when I joke around by snorting their pussy up with my nose and politely tell them that's some serious cocaine pussy they are packing with. Once there's a passionate rhythm going it's on and there is no going back. A great feeling of sexual ecstasy that lasts for a couple min and soon enough I want more of her...and more of her...and more of her because this industry chick turns me on. Not only sexually but visually too. She is confident, open minded and isn't afraid to tongue the living daylights out of me. She knows exactly what I'm looking for intimately and how I like it and is willing to satisfy my needs to the upmost fullest. That's a worker and then suddenly i'm a sex crazed addict trying to live a normal peaceful existence...

T H E

E N D

 

[spassky]

Thanks man. It means a lot. I'm happy you have a gem to help take your mind off the madness of the real world.

I've learned to embrace being single. I'm damaged goods though and can no longer give a good woman the attention and commitment she deserves. That's why I see these industry ladies. I'm chasing the euphoria and when our time together is up, I'm happy that I got to experience that temporary high. It also makes me feel young again lol.

Young again?? You are young

 

[Bananafruit]

Younger guy (30s). Recently broke up and started hobbying again. Been hitting up MPAs and SCs.

These places are rammed with married men/ very busy places. I didn't realize how common this was. I sense monogamy is a sham; men just don't talk about with each other to avoid being exposed. Is my assumption false?

Also..the number of hot women moving through these places really makes me question that dating pool. All the modelesque friends I had/have who seem to have a good income but no real "job". I imagine none of their current boyfriends/ partners know.

I feel slightly disillusioned here.

You're still feeling the emotions from the breakup of your relationship. You're not thinking clearly. You have to recognize that any thoughts you're having now and until you get over that breakup are going to be muddled and emotional.

Many people are living on debt. Credit cards, loans or just lies you name it.

 

[Bananafruit]

In public, I'm somewhat shy and socially awkward

Build confidence in yourself first. Focus on yourself mentally and emotionally. Everything else will fall into place after. Trust in that.

 

[Boston Man Chowder]

Young again?? You are young

Though I'm happier now, her being gone still leaves that giant void that hasn't been filled. It still weighs heavily on me. Age is just a number and on most days, I feel really old. I read posts by a lot of guys here in their 70s or the latter stage of middle age and they seem to be living it up. They possess that youthfuless that I only have on my birth certificate.

 

[Buaya]

Though I'm happier now, her being gone still leaves that giant void that hasn't been filled. It still weighs heavily on me. Age is just a number and on most days, I feel really old. I read posts by a lot of guys here in their 70s or the latter stage of middle age and they seem to be living it up. They possess that youthfuness that I only have on my birth certificate.

No real advice for you. Everyone in your situation deals with it differently.
Some becomes Alcoholics.
Some will became a serial dater and takes it out on new relationships.

In your case, you are - although you don not think so - dealing very well with it.

Father Time, like they say is the best healer. You will just have to take it one day at a time. Not sure if you are undergoing Therapy. It works for some people.

I am in my 70's. For those of us at this stage of our life, time is slowly running out. It is inevitable. Many 70 year olds deal with aging differently as well.
Some will stay home and just rot away. Others who can afford it will start to go on Cruises. Many have a partner that they have no choice but do things together. Some will take a few hours each week and do what we do - visit their favourite spas.

Do not believe everything you see on the surface. Life is more then that. Just because you see someone having a great time and seemly not a care in the world, behind close doors it might be different.

Always remember - What's Done cannot be Undone. If you repeat this every day, eventually you will come to be better place.

Take Care My Friend.

 

[krayjee]

Though I'm happier now, her being gone still leaves that giant void that hasn't been filled. It still weighs heavily on me. Age is just a number and on most days, I feel really old. I read posts by a lot of guys here in their 70s or the latter stage of middle age and they seem to be living it up. They possess that youthfuness that I only have on my birth certificate.

You are doing much better than lots of guys in here and outside world. You are well educated and doing well. My only advice to you is never let negative thoughts get into your head.
We may look happy and doing well but we all age differently and we all have our own issues like Buaya said. I myself think about my future and thinking of settling down so I wondered into dating sites and met a nice lady good golfer in her 50s on FB dating site 3 months ago . She got serious but I found out my sex drive is still very strong and I am not ready to settle with just one lady yet , so I ghosted on her. And about 6 months ago I found an mpa I really like and we got along so well hung out almost every day for 2-3 mos. I thought I can live with her forever and I even took her to my son's house , she took me to meet her dad and such but didn't work out well.
Life is not as simple as we thought. I found out I am much happier hanging out with younger massage girls than having a steady girlfriend. May be it will change when my health start to dwindle...lol

 

[Boston Man Chowder]

No real advice for you. Everyone in your situation deals with it differently.
Some becomes Alcoholics.
Some will became a serial dater and takes it out on new relationships.

In your case, you are - although you don not think so - dealing very well with it.

Father Time, like they say is the best healer. You will just have to take it one day at a time. Not sure if you are undergoing Therapy. It works for some people.

I am in my 70's. For those of us at this stage of our life, time is slowly running out. It is inevitable. Many 70 year olds deal with aging differently as well.
Some will stay home and just rot away. Others who can afford it will start to go on Cruises. Many have a partner that they have no choice but do things together. Some will take a few hours each week and do what we do - visit their favourite spas.

Do not believe everything you see on the surface. Life is more then that. Just because you see someone having a great time and seemly not a care in the world, behind close doors it might be different.

Always remember - What's Done cannot be Undone. If you repeat this every day, eventually you will come to be better place.

Take Care My Friend.

Thank you sir. A lot of great posts but this was probably the most thoughtful one. Spoken like a true Jedi Master. Appreciate it. For someone with such perspective, you don't come off as old at all. No bitterness. Just a lot of wisdom.

Yes father time heals all wounds and in the past 9 years, things have gotten better. I think I would've been able to handle the tragedy with more maturity had it happened when I was older than 24. I was so young then and threw all my eggs in one basket that when she passed, I lost myself. My identity was defined by my relationship with her. I probably would've moved on faster and not have had that giant void if I were a bit older and more mature when it happened. How can I complain though? In the grand scheme of things, life is great.

 

[Boston Man Chowder]

You are doing much better than lots of guys in here and outside world. You are well educated and doing well. My only advice to you is never let negative thought get into your mind.
We may look happy and doing well but we all age differently and we all have our own issues like Buaya said. I myself think about my future and thinking of settling down so I wondered into dating sites and met a nice lady good golf player on FB dating site 3 months ago . She got serious but I found out I am not ready to get settle with just one lady yet and my sex drive is still very strong, so I ghosted on her. And about 6 months ago I found an mpa I really like and we got along so well. I thought I can live with her forever and I even took her to my son's house and she took me to meet her dad and such but didn't work out well.
Life is not as simple as we thought. I found out I am much happier hanging out with younger massage girls than having a steady girlfriend. May be it will change when my health start to dwindle...lol

For someone with so much youthful energy, your health dwindling won't be for awhile. You said you were in your 70s. Well, if that is so, I hope that if I'm lucky enough to reach that milestone, hopefully I could date 3 massage girls at a time and play golf with them as well hahaha. What a life!

I'm amazed that guys like you, OG funguy, xtc27 and caliguy have these personal connections with industry women. I'm not as much an insider in this business as you guys (you work in it!) unless it involves seeing my fave on a couple Sundays a month. I envy your ability to live life on your own terms but at the same time, reading your posts makes me hopeful for the future. Pay no mind to the haters. Their posts are just entertainment and fodder at best.

 

[krayjee]

For someone with so much youthful energy, your health dwindling won't be for awhile. You said you were in your 70s. Well, if that is so, I hope that if I'm lucky enough to reach that milestone, hopefully I could date 3 massage girls at a time and play golf with them as well hahaha. What a life!

I'm amazed that guys like you, OG funguy, xtc27 and caliguy have these personal connections with industry women. I'm not as much an insider in this business as you guys (you work in it!) unless it involves seeing my fave on a couple Sundays a month. I envy your ability to live life on your own terms but at the same time, reading your posts makes me hopeful for the future. Pay no mind to the haters. Their posts are just entertainment and fodder at best.

Yeah.. I will be 75 in November in Canadian way, In Asia, I am already in my 75th yr..lol. Keep yourself fit and healthy and never worry about things beyond your control. Stress is the main killer. I have no hair when I was running my business. Now I look much younger with fuller hair and looks in my mid 50s.

My haters are my biggest fans. I love them dearly. They helped bump up my threads and good for my business. To me, they are under achievers who can't stand seeing someone doing well. Some attacks on me make them look like idiots but they were so blinded by hatred and didn't see it. I am back at E&M and Michelle was telling me last week I owe her a lot cuz I started from her spa as a promoter and become famous. She said she needs a cut..lol

 

[Boston Man Chowder]

Yeah.. I will be 75 in November in Canadian way, In Asia, I am already in my 75th yr..lol. Keep yourself fit and healthy and never worry about things beyond your control. Stress is the main killer. I have no hair when I was running my business. Now I look much younger with fuller hair and looks in my mid 50s.

My haters are my biggest fans. I love them dearly. They help bump up my threads and good for my business. I am back at E&M and Michelle was telling me last week I owe her a lot cuz I started from her spa as a promoter and become famous. She said she needs a cut..lol

Congratulations on that milestone and all your success in the business! Seems like your bashers are some of your biggest regulars. Hahaha keep them coming back.

I guess if Dos Equis needed an Asian ambassador, they know where to go. Lol. Here's to another 75 years... perhaps?!?

 

[krayjee]

Congratulations on that milestone and all your success in the business! Seems like your bashers are some of your biggest regulars. Hahaha keep them coming back.

I guess if Dos Equis needed an Asian ambassador, they know where to go. Lol. Here's to another 75 years... perhaps?!?

You got that right. Whenever I am doing receptionist at JR and E&M, some guys hung up as soon as they heard me answer the phone and a few minutes later called back from private numbers. I always have a good laugh when that happened.

 

[sexpuppy]

I have been married for 10 years now, love my wife but love != lust and my wife cannot satisfy my lust. Men aren't meant to be biologically monogamous and I myself simply don't have enough self-control to not see other women, especially when my wife gives me ample opportunities. It wasn't that long ago in human history when men used to have multiple wives and the facade of modern marriage results in the high divorce rate that we see today.