America Vs. Russia

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jerem

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Wooo!!:):ok::clap:lol:lol WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :P :P :P
 
Once upon a time, a long time ago, America and Britain's leaders (a demented old has-been film star and a demented old bat with a chip on her shoulder) sat down one day to decide what they could do about Russia, because they didn't want the then-communist state to get one over on them. They decided on a star wars programme, flew expensive satellites around the earth and had a big race to see who could point the biggest gun at the other.. That cost a lot of money

One thing Britain did to save money to pay for all this was to cut jobs in one of the biggest industries, outsourcing coal production to import cheaper coal from abroad, putting thousands of Britlish people out of work and ruining whole areas where coal mining was the only big industry and employer. Devastating some local areas and local economies , bringing mass unemployment, the social problems caused by unemployment and low-income to entire areas.

The "cold war" ended years ago, but Britain still needed to buy coal.

Russia now provides 51% of Britain's coal, making a tidy profit into the deal.

That sure showed them Russkies, huh?

Not a joke, but I find that ironically funny as fluck.
 
The Americans and Russians, at the height of the arms race, realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
The Russians found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were three inches thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.
The Russians came up to the Americans, shaking their heads in disbelief. `We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing," an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
 
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