According to Peter McCollough, one of the leading antivaxxer "scientists" right next to Robert Malone, it is impossible to have COVID twice because natural immunity will enable you to fight it or something like that. By admitting that you have had COVID twice, you are essentially debunking and proving that the pillars of antivaxxer movement are wrong.
I think Bananafruit already answered you appropriately regarding your concerns on vaccine. Man, if you didn't read the label on the medication before you took it then that's on you. I don't see why you trying to become a poster child of antivaxx, do you really want to make friends with the Stooges of Misinformation?
Not everyone will end up in the ICU but it is random, and it could be someone who you wouldn't even expect it.