Confessions of a Fat Guy

[gretchen]

This is something I've been wanting to post for along time, given that I have received a lot of support from the various posters here (...ok, when they were on ****) But there's something I want to get off my chest....Thus a Confession Of a Fat Guy

Now what would I be confessing to?

Dave's really a cop? No.
Dave's gay? Curious maybe, but no.
Dave's really a woman? Not the last time I checked.
Dave really is a fat guy, and has been lying about loosing weight? Now that is closer to the target. It does involve lying.

Time for a quick recap. This time last year, I was around portly 260lbs, virgin and miserable. Around Thanksgiving I found my way into ****, and got my cherry popped by the amazonian blonde Brittney. That started something...And I don't mean my hobbying...Ok that too. I had a few other tumbles, with the lovely lady LaJolie, and amazing Amanda (just prior to her retiring) But it was the first frolic that changed things. I realized "life doesn't need to be like this," and that I wasn't happy with the person in the mirror. So over the months, I changed my activity level, diet, etc to address my physical issues, and sought help with my mental/emotional ones.

Since then I've gone from wearing a 260lber XXL shirts and 44 waist pants, to a 185lber in 34 jeans and M shirts. Outstanding isn't it?

Well where is the lie then? And it's a lie I use nearly every day, and honestly I feel bad using it. So what is it?

When people often talk to me about being amazed at my change they way "Loosing weight is really hard isn't it?" Here's the lie..."Yes, yes it is." No, no, it isn't hard....When you're damned well ready to do it. And I was ready. Some where in the later part of last year, the bell tolled and it signaled the time for me to change, and I have very seldom looked back. As extra motivation, I asked my doctor what weight he'd like to see me at (180lbs), and I swore to myself I would not hobby until I saw that weight. And the pounds just melted away...Until I hit 190, and I quickly leveled out at 185. Frustratingly, I've been stuck here for the better part of a month.

With that said, I look at where I am and what I can do, and I can't help but be amazed. Used to be I couldn't run a half a block, I can now do 5K, and am contemplating entering a 10k race next month. Not only do I run 5k, I do it at 4 in the morning, in under 30 minutes. I do not remember ever being this thin or physically capable.

But...While not as disgusted by who I see in the mirror, I still think of myself as a fat guy. I still see the dunlap gut (that can pass the pencil test), the jello like thighs, the wide arse and moobs that are bigger than some of the ladies'.

My sex drive is still out to lunch...Hell I barely masturbate once a week. It was the words of one person in chat that made me look at this differently though...Oddly enough, they came from HOF..."Right now sex isn't important to you."

I know there's more I wish to say, but I've gone blank on the subject.

I'm very tempted to go to the party this Thurs, but I'm still undecided as to whether I'll go, and whether I'll get a room so I can just stay the night. My shy side is wanting to give it a pass. But I see it as good exercise for my social skills. Though some persuasion wouldn't hurt (and I don't mean of the companion type...Though that would be nice).

Plus I would like to thank a lot of people on this forum, and on ****, for their support and encouragement, just too many to name...And once certainly lady for getting the ball rolling.

Thanks for your time,
Dave

 

[Roflcopter]

If Dave shows up, I think he should be rewarded with a big hug from each of the lovely ladies. :love:

I'm very impressed and I like that you've shared your goals and accomplishments with us.

 

[Hobo Joe]

Dave I for one would love to meet and shake your hand. Any person that went from a 260lber XXL shirts and 44 waist pants, to a 185lber in 34 jeans and M shirts has a good head on his shoulder.

Congrats and never give up, even if you have the odd ice cream or chocolate bar here and there consider it a reward and then go back to your good diet routine.

I am very impressed that you had the balls to admit how big you were when you didn't have to.

See you at the party

 

[Uttam]

Dave - running 5k at 4 a.m. in the morning is unbelievable. I cannot do that or have the will power like you to do that. Kudos to you. Your weight loss is incredible, especially when it seems like you are doing it in a healthy way. As for your self image, give it time. It will not happen overnight, but at some point, your mental image of yourself will match your physical well being. I cannot make it to the party, but encourage you to go to the party. There will be a lot of friends there and will also help you overcome any negative images of yourself by seeing how positive people act towards you. In fact, why don't you start up conversations at the party without mentioning that you are Blank_Dave and then later in the conversation, drop the fact that you are Blank_Dave. I'm sure people will be surprised in a good way! arty:

 

[Paige]

You have done great Dave your strong will power will keep you on the right track. Would like to meet you at the party but will be in campus studying.

 

[Love my Mutts!!!]

Bravo Dave, show them how strong you and your mind is now dude.

 

[-=Ryan=-]

The last five pounds are the hardest....keep going, it will come.

I think I'm the same way, seeing myself bigger than I really am. Kind of hope so, anyway.

HOF is very smart sometimes. what's with these shooting pains in my fingers?

You should definitely go to the party, why wouldn't you? You'll have fun. :tongue:

 

[Farwood]

Congratulation on the weight loss Dave. I think you should reward yourself with an SP even at 185lbs. Once you get the taste again, then not another until you hit the magical 180. You will do it in no time. Cya at the party, Hof and I will be saving you a spot!

 

[K4TE]

Dave,

You and I have been going back and forth for almost a year now, sometimes in open forum (at that other place) and sometimes via PM... At one point you mentioned that my story was an inspiration to you... and it made me feel very humble... and I can garantee you that your story will now inspire others. :great:

I went from 228 to 168 a difference of 60 lbs... and you have now surpassed that mark by an additional 15 lbs! You can also do something I cannot do... run for 5 kms! I can't run more than 1-2 kms without my knees screaming in pain. :frown:

Like Silly Girl said... its those last few lbs that are always the hardest. Stay focused, and persevere... you are the facilitator of your own destiny!

Although we have never met in R-L and may never have the opportunity to do so... I am very glad our paths have crossed "virtually".

Live Fit... LIVESTRONG brother! :happy:

 

[Jez]

Dave,

You have accomplished so much and you should be very proud. I also think you should go to the party. For all of us shy guys, the SPs do boost our ego's. These ladies amongst other things they are far superior to the average lady in civilian life with regards to talking with the guys. They are able to detect your nervousness and are able to break down the barriers and make you feel comfortable. I think talking to these ladies are very good for you.

Hope to see you there.

 

[chivas4life]

Dave,

Congratulations on your success! Don't sweat 5lbs, it will become muscle. Remember, eat healthy and frequent smaller meals, exercise, get your rest, and you will live long and prosper. You already have!

You've made physical changes and whether you realize this or not, you have made significant emotional changes that are inevitable with a healthy lifestyle.

Remember what is important for you at this moment, everything else works itself out.

Treat yourself, attend the gathering or go see Britney again:tongue: Hell, you should do both!

 

[sharkyincanada]

What he said and congrats Dave.

 

[Mandy]

Dave your first step towards building confidence was my postion your thoughts. From here on is moving on to the positive things of life. Well done Dave.

 

[Bees Knees]

Hey Dave, I don't comment much on your threads, but I have been reading along with interest.

You've taken control of your own life... something that most people never do.

Hope to see you at the party. I'll by you... some peanuts.

 

[bettermade]

I have a great respect for what you've been doing, we've spoken about this before but I'll say it again you should be proud Dave. I think everyone else here is. :mdr:

Don't worry so much about the numbers, you've lost a great deal of weight and you're probably starting to build up some muscle now as well which will slow down the weight loss a bit.
As for your libido, it also might take a long time to come back and there are a lot of factors that come into play. Don't stress it right now, when you have a little less on your plate, maybe even in a few months or so make it a priority and tackle it. Try looking at one thing at a time, you've come so far right now you don't want to take on too much and lose ground. :kiss:

 

[Mommy to 3]

+ 1, Dave you have done what many only think they can do. You are a doer bro.

 

[27.lyn]

Go to the party BD, you deserve a treat after what you have accomplished!

 

[James L]

Dave, Please go for me. I'd love to but in the evenings I have to take care of my wife who is quite imobilised by MS. So have a good time for the both of us.

 

[Unknown]

Have fun at the party Dave and show off the new you.

 

[///]

The admiration on this boards speaks volumes not only for the feat but most importantly for the man you are Dave.

I always have had a great respect and admiration for your process thoughout this process. Many say they will do it...loose a few pounds but then reset, however, you did it.
Seeing this though is outstanding.

I wish you continued success and health.

Have fun beating those women off with a stick...i bet they are all over you! :love:

arty: