A soliloquy of the truth nobody tells you
I was very young when I took the plunge into this world. Working with a difficult family meant that seeking an escape was necessary. Into this world, once the doors opened, all your troubles were forgotten and you were immediately king.
After a couple of relationships, mongering became a drug like no other. I avoided intimacy but the irony was that it followed me even here in this world.
I have never had trouble attracting women. It was the intimacy that followed that was frightening. Like any other drug, sex and mongering are a vicious cycle. It is difficult to truly let this world go and let the quick fix adrenaline rush dissipate.
While nothing in life is truly lasting, it is better to focus on ecosystems that are sustainable. I have some wonderful relationships and a lovely girl. I intend to see this through instead of succumbing to capricious whims and fancies. Focus on the internal rather than the external. After having succesully practiced abstinence, I intend to build things that last in an ephermal world.
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