do you consider cheating

[VMR]

Those same feelings could be attributed to buying a brand new driver or a new set of irons or a new sweater (although I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be fined for that). Many people feel guilty taking a holiday rather than having much needed time off. We are guilted into so many things (buying Michelen snow tires, eating Cheerios) that it's not a given anymore that when we feel guilty we really are. I feel some of it is manufactured.

If you have a SO and have their approval then I'd would say you're not cheating. Of course then you're obligated to indulge her hobbying.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Ask a woman what is worse.

A) Finding out that hubby is going to a rub and tug or

B) Finding out that he is obsessed with and in love with a woman he works with, but nothing has happened with her.

 

[Bunz!]

If I had one, I'd have to ask her : )

For me personally in this scenario, no, she would not be cheating ... actually, it's kinda hot ... we need to get past this conventional conditioning and insecurity to at least some degree ... obviously there is a commitment in any relationship, but as humans we have individual biological/psychological needs that can rarely, if ever, be fulfilled by one person ... so as individuals within any relationship to suppress these desires is cheating ourselves out of fulfillment ... we are not monogamous by nature ... if anything, a paid for, or even casual sex type deal could be and in some cases is, a "healthy" outlet to enable us to remain committed to the structure of our primary relationship.

Society is completely absorbed with the notion of being incomplete as individuals - without a partner. If it works for you, awsum, but I'm not so sure it works for many - not truly. So, yeah ... the convention of two people bonding and being monogamous works to a degree and is an awsum thing, but ultimately we shouldn't be slaves to this commitment just as we shouldn't be slaves to our pyschobiological needs either.

 

[@markvukovic]

OP,

He means he's sliding with the ones who aren't his friends.

 

[ioanna (l)]

It is not cheating. Neither is having FS. IMHO.

 

[clueless??]

it also depends how often you do it. Most guys have been to a spa once and that's hardly cheating. But if you're doing on a consistent basis, then you're approaching cheating. Though if you're SO is not giving you sex on a somewhat regular basis, then I think we're justified in using other means, at least going to a spa.

Escorts = definetely cheating
Stripclub = not cheating
MP's = probably not quite, its not sex, and no real intimacy.

 

[Mina]

Whoever said 'bout paying friends, bro. Yeah I'll pay for a friend....but I won't pay them to be my friend(there's a difference).I don't mix business with pleasure. I was already friends with a lot EVEN BEFORE i surfaced the spa scene. I work in the club district which is where i met most. Sorry OP,but I don't answer PM of guys asking certain girls-try and respect their
confidentiality.

Oh and another thing.....I think you need to get a life. Don't you do anything on the weekends- NO FRIENDS.......Thank God for internet porn and massageplanet.net, eh? You posted this last night ( which is not a problem folks), but he comes on earlier this morning and his last activity shows 12:47 pm 3-12-06....wow talk 'bout low-life, maybe your the one that needs some friends

 

[Marie S]

secret relationship with Tothy=Divorce.

 

[sriteja]

I second your motion. Heck, I've been retired for 6 months now, but would gladly come out of it for Lee. I was outside her place this past weekend (no, not to stalk her -- I was having dinner across the street) and it brought back good memories of a sexy, kind, considerate, intelligent, and talented-at-what-she-did girl. She is truly one of a kind.

It's funny... I only began "hobbying" when I realized that my long-term girlfriend had a serious commitment phobia (not that she was cheating, just that marriage or any type of commitment scared the shit out of her). I often felt bad after seeing a girl, but with Lee it was totally different. I was able to justify it to myself.

Since then the girl decided that she couldn't commit, we broke up, and most of my memories of those years are sad. But one of the few bright spots was seeing Lee. I would greatly regret remaining completely faithful to the gf, only to have her still dump me in the end, and having not seen Lee.

Even 6 months into retirement, I'll still shill for Lee. Hope she's doing well.

 

[Kar]

If women do it, it is cheating.
If men do it, it is recreational activity.

 

[Hatikvah JPA]

Lee was too good to be on her own. It's only a matter of time before one of the sexy spa's makes her an offer she can't refuse.

Prediction - Lee ends up working at HFH under the stage name of Emilio.

 

[Merry]

Been thinking about this since its an interesting topic. And I think cheating can be harder to define than what I first thought.

a) cheating can depend on what is defined within the relationship. Some will view even fantasizing about someone else cheating. In polyamorous relationships there can even be guidelines that they have to abidbe by be it acceptable acts or number of encounters.

b) cheating might be defined by deriving sexual pleasure. But what about someone who has sex but doesn't orgasm is that still cheating?

c) cheating might depend on a emotional connection, but does that make anonymous sex okay?

I think at the end of the day its too hard to answer without knowing what your SO thinks. So lets set her up with a handle and ask her.

And for the guys who don't think it's cheating got any contact info.... for your SO that is? LOL. Just kidding.

 

[Ruth velasquez]

If you have to think twice about it, then you are obviously cheeting.

 

[The Hand That Feeds]

This is a most interesting post. I gotta agree with your eloquent definition of morality as it is very much in line with what I consider should constitute a truly civilised society.

However, I'm not so sure that I could define going to an MP as an unwholesome action based on consequences or by any standard within my line of [so called] thinking. The stigma attached to being an MPA and/or a client is purely created by society. I don't believe there is need for any guilt for either party as individuals - the main reason their actions could harm others and why the business itself lurks within the realm it does, is due to our enforced values as a whole, which is where we seem to differ in our opinion. Any destructive behavior patterns also extend from others superficial labeling and conditioning, which makes those who judge the ones who are truly "unwholesome" or, if you will, "immoral". I know, no big revelations, but to me, judgments based on [what IMO should be archaic] societal and religious preconceptions are among the most destructive of all actions.

Your conclusions are maybe more correct given our accepted structure, while mine, well, I just don't accept it : )

 

[secrethq1]

You can rationalize it all you want. It's still cheating. For a test, tell your wife or gf all about your last BS experience down to the last detail.

 

[Shim]

If your wife/girlfriend deprives you of sex for a long time or expects you to beg for it every time or use it as a tool to negotiate, I consider going to MPA is a way of getting even with her or sweet revenge.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Society does definatly create a bad image on mpa's and their clients but I guess Im just wondering why? If there is absolutely nothing unwholesome about the sex trade than why is there so much oppression towards it? Surely, there must be something. Its easy to point fingers at eachother saying "This is because of them, and that is because of them, there's nothing wrong with what im doing its everyone else who has the problem" but I don't see how that is an action progressive in any way. Maybe putting gasoline on the fire trying to extinguish it really isnt such a good idea.

I think maybe going to a mpa involves one to develop alot of passion and lust in their mind which is far from wholesome and piety. Not to say that everyone who goes is not a good person, it's just that they/we don't know at the level of experience that what we do is not good for us.

[/QUOTE]



True, feeling guilty does not solve anything. But societies enforced values that shun us is made up of nothing but individual belief systems and for society to change each individual has to change... including you and me. We hold as much responsibility for the over powering belief system of society as every other person in it.

I see the main reason their action could harm others is not because of the value set out by society but because that individuls mind is as impure and one and the same as the rest of the society.

Like I said its easy to rectify ourselves but its easier to point a finger.

[/QUOTE]



If you look deeply at yourself you will see that your mind is equally immoral, impure and judgemental as those who judge you.



This is true.



I accept everything you say, you and I as well as everyone else is the world will have something differen't to say. But, at the end of the day what matters is that we give most importance to the core/essence of what we share with eachother and leave our beliefe systems at the door understanding that this is the truth for this person based on their life experience.

 

[expecting baby #3 =)]

By societal and religious views, it's cheating.

By primal needs it's not. Clearly our intelligence over the rest of the animal kingdom has created a dilemma.

Why else would religious and societal perspectives impose taboo notions that activities such as these categorize themselves as 'cheating'? I think some people touched on this already, but it's much like when you're married and you think your wife's sister is definitely tap worthy. You know it's not socially or religiously accepted, but it's just a primal emotion you get being a man.

Or one can see this topic of cheating as the viewpoint of monogamy. Is monogamy really something natural? If it's so natural, why do so many people have this incessant need to look for someone new despite how difficult their relationships are?

Cheating is something we created, so it should be defined by you. Unfortunately, your definition may not be what society/religion sees as "proper".

 

[Radu]

Beauty and brains. C'mon out of retirement Lee, we miss you.

 

[Greybeard]

Why....do you feel guilty? If you feel guilty ........I guess you are cheating. Personally i don't feel guilty because:

A) I don't have a significant other right now
B) I go for the rub, but no tug (Yes girls I am who you think i am)
c) I'm friends with a lot of the girls in the industry as well.

But my friend......let me answer your question with a question. Do you use an alias name when you book an appointment or you use you're own name?