Early retirement due to the bad economy..

[PietreveweigE]

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of
economy in Britain, my Company has decided to implement a scheme to
put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPEd can apply to management to be eligible
for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPEd and SHAFTed will be reviewed under the
SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).

A person may be RAPEd once, SHAFTed twice and SCREWed as many times as
Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPEd can only get AIDS (Additional Income for
Dependants or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel
Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTed or
SCREWed any further by management.

Persons staying on will receive as much sh*t (Special High Intensity
Training) as possible.

Management has always prided itself on the amount of sh*t it gives
employees.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough sh*t, please bring this
anomaly to the attention of your Supervisor.

They have been trained to give you all the sh*t you can handle.

 

[Bond Reeves]

^^^old gold

 

[dlehwuheifkixweue]

Old one