Robert Abuse
Member
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2009
- Messages
- 51
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Amigomio wrote:
Good advice Amigomio, I guess we both had to learn the hard way avoiding certain people here, especially if they are not 'all there." if you know what I mean?
Now Sampson is head of a fund raiser for kids, so some charged do have to be answered as it's best not to ignore some charges.
But lets talks about ordinary accusations from a boss, wanting to know why you didn't get your work done, your wife wanting to know why you didn't clean up the house while she was working or you home, or an internet troll questing your behavior.
One of the things I learned early by a very popular, Social Psychologist that taught Psychology where I went to college, and was even popular with the media was that you NEVER JUSTIFY to someone if at all possible, because once you do you give them power over you, and you put them in the drivers seat.
You never see a employee demanding why there boss is late, but you always see it the other way around. And if it's that kind of relationship or something with a wife, you have to give them something, but it those cases... it's better if you tell them you have no excuse, as mistakes happen and get on with your life.
But if it's a situation with an equal, you never give them the time of day, when they come asking: why did you do it this way? or that way? or why didn't you do it? The correct answer is ' I don't justify myself to you, or a variation of that. Sometimes I'll even acknowledge their feelings, but still won't justify myself to them. Now you don't do that to everybody like a well respected co-worker, and you actually fucked up. I'm just talking about people who are trying to put a power play over you, or even a online troll or worst a wife or girlfriend.
I have used this with great success at work and even used it on another forum where some idiot monger was trying to get me to justify what I wrote to him. But I didn't take his bait, and simple told him I thought he was an idiot in so many words, and I'm not going to waste my time explaining myself
to the likes of him. A lot of times they really don't know what do to when you put it like that to them...they go into shock, and takes them awhile to react, but then sometimes it just pisses them off more, and they really don't leave you alone until they can show they got power over you.
Good advice Amigomio, I guess we both had to learn the hard way avoiding certain people here, especially if they are not 'all there." if you know what I mean?
Now Sampson is head of a fund raiser for kids, so some charged do have to be answered as it's best not to ignore some charges.
But lets talks about ordinary accusations from a boss, wanting to know why you didn't get your work done, your wife wanting to know why you didn't clean up the house while she was working or you home, or an internet troll questing your behavior.
One of the things I learned early by a very popular, Social Psychologist that taught Psychology where I went to college, and was even popular with the media was that you NEVER JUSTIFY to someone if at all possible, because once you do you give them power over you, and you put them in the drivers seat.
You never see a employee demanding why there boss is late, but you always see it the other way around. And if it's that kind of relationship or something with a wife, you have to give them something, but it those cases... it's better if you tell them you have no excuse, as mistakes happen and get on with your life.
But if it's a situation with an equal, you never give them the time of day, when they come asking: why did you do it this way? or that way? or why didn't you do it? The correct answer is ' I don't justify myself to you, or a variation of that. Sometimes I'll even acknowledge their feelings, but still won't justify myself to them. Now you don't do that to everybody like a well respected co-worker, and you actually fucked up. I'm just talking about people who are trying to put a power play over you, or even a online troll or worst a wife or girlfriend.
I have used this with great success at work and even used it on another forum where some idiot monger was trying to get me to justify what I wrote to him. But I didn't take his bait, and simple told him I thought he was an idiot in so many words, and I'm not going to waste my time explaining myself
to the likes of him. A lot of times they really don't know what do to when you put it like that to them...they go into shock, and takes them awhile to react, but then sometimes it just pisses them off more, and they really don't leave you alone until they can show they got power over you.