Hookey,
You've got a bad case of post-LOS Blues, a common malady which most of us suffer upon arrival back in the inhospitable weather climates and social climates of our homelands. It's rough, damn rough, but it will pass, take my word for it or ask some of the others here. Dealing with this cold reality of "why the hell am I here...when I could be there?" is one of the reasons that we are here talking to each other on this board, helping each other deal with the issue, and keeping alive in our hearts and minds the reality that we experienced there so that it doesn't completely fade away.
When we read Butterfly Blonde's current posts in "BMs on Tour" section, it brings back to us the excitement and the reality that we felt there, and reinforces our desire to not let that part of life slip away, to get back there and do it all over again. That plus there is a certain good feeling in knowing that a friend is having his little bit of heaven. These things are what this board is about.
So, hang in there and feel free to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences if you choose to. It helps in dealing with the major blues when the pain is real and hurts every day. Mental torture it is.
And think about what I said: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Just don't let it kill you. Sometimes you can't fight the pain and you have to indulge yourself in feeling bad and maybe a bit sorry for yourself and how the world is unfair to you, to give yourself time to heal. Time heals. As you become drawn back into your every day life, into the inevitability of the human drama which surrounds you, you deal with it, and the experience you had in LOS adds perspective to your life. You grow stronger and become more clear about what you want in your life. Then you figure out what you must do to get it.
Not easy. No one ever said it would be. Life is a challenge. It's a hard game, but sometimes it can be a fun game to play. You just have to learn how.
JayBee
P.S. What you said about the first girl to make you feel like a teenager since you were a teenager..., couldn't have said it better myself! Therein lies the beauty of the women of LOS, more than the physical beauty of almond eyes, ripe lips, and soft, tight, tender bodies is the beauty of how they can make you feel. That is what keeps all of us coming back for more!!!