Garden Retreat Spa: Substantially East of Eden

[Vahid]

I think on the whole it's not a fantastic place and I wouldn't repeat, but I disagree with your assessment on age. Hana looked to me to be in her 30's somewhere. She told me she's 25, so let's assume she's somewhere in the 30-35 range.

I saw others milling about who looked 20's - 30's. Again, nothing crazy hot, but not old ladies...

Maybe there have been some additions since your last visit...

 

[Liaineeexcela]

I don't think this place worth a visit. the old women are over 40 at least, nothing special.

 

[Dawn G]

How long has this place been open anyone know? Everything in the place looks brand new and the girls all wear white jeans and white t shirts. Location convenient for me but I also had HJ only and not much roaming. Ok if youre nearby I think and at least clean and girls not too bad to look at.

 

[DavidBrain]

kingotis is a real expert & sums it in regards to repeat business in this hobby.

i do look appreciate & look fwd to your reports; you can seriously write a book on this subject.

 

[Mr. Fix It]

For me, probably not worth a repeat since it seems like the menu is limited and it's no bargain. Very nicely tricked out place, but really nothing special. Figure to make it worth your time a place needs to deliver one or more of the following:

1. Super hot chicks.
2. Superlative out of the ordinary massage.
3. Unrestrictive social policies...in other words, a solid path to more than just a handjob with minimal roaming. Gimme a sign that maybe next time there will be more and maybe there will be a next time...
4. Bargain pricing.

Absent any of these things, we have a one off experience. This place seemed calculated to keep the menu restrictive. In fact, two additional details:

1. Hana let me get my hands under her shirt but used her body positioning to keep the roaming very restrictive - even just the under shirt / over bra stuff.

2. They didn't collect any cash up front, and because all your stuff is in the lockers you can't pay or tip until after you're done. That wouldn't be an issue in any fashion except that when I emerged from the locker room, Hana was nowhere to be found. Mamasan collected the house money but when I started looking around to tip the girl, she said she was "busy" and produced an envelope marked "Hana". She took my tip and sealed it into the envelope...but how do I know that cash is actually getting into Hana's hands? Not how I prefer to do business... I can't really envision working monger magic to extend the mileage when I have no way of knowing whether that girl is actually getting the entire tip...You'd have to squirrel your tip money away in the stupid robe or something...

As for Team Otis...well I suppose it will return soon enough. Just making it my task to speak for myself at the moment without aspiring to speak for anyone else...

 

[WinterOpal]

kingotis is resorting to layman term report! haha...great write up as always. is this place worth a repeat? I presume not since its run of the mill place

misc: no more team otis? booooo

 

[lilharibo]

For those who prefer reviews to contain actual information:

A perfectly adequate spa with nothing special to recommend it among the dozens of similar places in midtown but nothing especially troublesome about it other than a generalized absence of ingenuity in the overall setup and business model.

The facility is a well-appointed, very modern, nicely decorated spa, very spacious, rooms are private, table shower exists. Locker room setup rather than having customers change in the massage rooms. Personally prefer to change in the room, but whatever.

I had Hana, a nice, hardworking Korean girl probably somewhere in her late twenties early thirties. Nice rack, a little thick on the bottom but hey, some of us like it that way. Semi-awkward feigned excitement in that stereotypical Kgirl manner, but she treated me nicely overall.

The massage was an adequate Korean style hard rub with much use of forearms and elbows. Some will find it painful, I found it to be adequate.

Finish was nothing out of the ordinary but things wound up with perfectly adequate closure if you will.

Damages: 70 house, 50 tip.

212-696-0207

 

[Just a Guy]

How does the ocean rise and fall and carry with it everything that drifts upon it? There is no mystery, no magic, nothing. There is only what is real and what is real is all that matters. Everything else is illusion and delusion.

There was a perfect moment there, a perfect night when god damn it, Lola and I were lovers and not just friends. There has never been a better instant, a happier five hours, and I will relive it in my head until I am nothing but dust. She gave herself to me just as I had always begged her to, she gave me what was in her heart and I held it and it warmed every cold, cold corner of my soul. But like the sands of an hourglass through my fingers it fell into an endless desert where nothing can live.

The ocean's sands, the desert's depths the endless slick streets of Manhattan in the rain flicker with its neon glow and I can hear the locusts coming, I can hear them, it is almost their time, almost. Almost. Lola, I will always love you but freedom is what you need and my heart is tattered and torn.

Alone and aimless I found myself in tennis shoes, soaked to every bone and worse, walking up Fifth Avenue like a coyote who lost his howl. What good is a wolf that cannot bay, a dog that won't bark, a coyote whose howl has left him silent, helpless...lonely?

I called a number from my list. Pressed a button in an elevator...the doors opened and here I was. Place all tricked out like a post-nuclear bachelor pad after one too many tabs of cheap, speedy acid. Korean girls milling about in white. One takes my hand and puts me in a locker room where I stand for a moment and contemplate leaving. What will I gain by staying? I will never have what I want, no never not now not then never never. But I need something now and I will take this and make it mine.

I am naked and a Korean girl named Hana with a nice moon face and a big ass is washing me. My tongue feels like Napoleon on Elba, my mind is exiled and I need life so much I'll take death to keep the boredom away. Yeah, she soaps my cock up nice and I get a big fat red hard on and she pretends to give a shit. Sure baby, sure. Where is Lola? A mere 20 blocks north but fuck me it might as well be an ocean, a universe, nowhere at all. Why do I care? Why can't I stop caring?

Hana dries me off. I should smile. I make myself look happy. She's a nice girl. She's trying. My soul is black, so black, so empty. My heart has collapsed like a dying star and the doctors fixed it but it will never, ever stop being broken, Lola, and you know why.

I asked for a hard massage and Hana is trying, she really is. I tell her she's great, she's sexy, she's the best but fuck my goddamned smile and my stupid words, everyone believes me and yet I have made every word a lie, a worthless token of the emptiness at my core that eats away every sign of life the instant it appears.

I turn over. Oily hand, hard cock. Obligatory grope at the tits and ass. Yes baby, yes baby. Heavy breathing. Yeah, my cock is so strong. I know how fucking hard you're working to make me come my bitter fucking come, yeah, I know. Faster, faster, faster, yeah there it goes. Nice yeah, nice cock, sure.

Fuck it. I get dressed and pay and the streets are wetter than ever. It has rained for forty days and forty nights and yeah, fuck me fuck I am drowning. Gasping for air. Some beast is clawing at my chest, sitting on me and I can't fucking breathe but here I am walking away. Quick, get a picture before I'm gone.

Lola, let me go baby, let me go. Let me float with the rise and fall of the ocean and I will give you the desert and everything under its sand, all the oil, all the riches, all the dinosaurs decaying who still look young next to the death mask pallor that covers my face.

Tell me one time, Lola, one time only. Tell me you love me or you hate me but nothing in between.