Globe & Mail's 2010 Travel Hall of Infamy Awards - funny!

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The 2010 Travel Hall of Infamy Awards
DOUGLAS McARTHUR

From Thursday's Globe and Mail

The Ruffling Feathers Award to a New Zealand tour operator who paid French and Israeli backpackers to entertain cruise passengers by impersonating Maori. The imposters wore feathered robes and painted their faces with fake tattoos. Company director Terina Puriri, herself Maori, said she had no choice because local Maori were lazy. The Tauranga port authority disagreed and banned the company from its property.


The At Least There Was A Bed Award to unfortunate guests who posted these hotel horror stories on Trip Advisor: โ€œDrunk people sleep right outside our room lying in the hallway.โ€ โ€œThe robber had a key to all the rooms and they somehow knew how to get into the safe.โ€ โ€œFlooded by sewage overflow twice in the five days that we were there.โ€ โ€œ[The lobby clerk] shoved the couch โ€ฆ into my luggage โ€ฆ broke a bottle of alcohol into my bag and ruined my camera.โ€ โ€œA male cleaner knocking on my door at 6.30 a. m. to say hello โ€ฆ and ask if he could wash his face in my sink.โ€

The Great Hisscape Award to Anson Wong whose bag burst open on a conveyor belt at Kuala Lumpur airport. Staff alerted police, and the Malaysian man ended up with a six-month jail sentence for attempting to smuggle contraband into Indonesia. It consisted of one matamata turtle, two rhinoceros vipers and 95 boa constrictors.

The No Detail Too Small Award to the Russian city of Omsk, which went out of its way not to offend Dmitry Medvedev during an official visit. Because the countryโ€™s president is only 5 foot 4, local officials removed posters for a childrenโ€™s theatre show that read: โ€œWe await you, merry gnome.โ€

The Groin And Bear It Award to Michael Ignatieff, Liberal Leader and frequent flier. He put an end to discussion of pat-downs by airport security with this conversation stopper: โ€œI have people touching my private parts all day long.โ€

The Fine Kettle Of Fish Award to tourists for causing such havoc at Tokyoโ€™s early-morning fish market that it had to be closed to visitors for a month. Traders complained that flashing cameras obscured their hand signals during bidding. Even worse, drunks leaving nightclubs were embracing and kissing the tuna.

The None So Blind As Those Who Cannot See Award to United Airlines flight attendants who forgot about a blind passenger, Jessica Cabot of Courtenay, B.C., after her flight landed in Chicago. As the woman waited patiently to be assisted off the plane, she heard the door seal shut. Luckily, maintenance workers rescued her 10 minutes later. Offering an apology, a United spokeswoman said Ms. Cabot had been overlooked because she was โ€œa tiny girl.โ€ โ€œDoes that mean,โ€ Ms. Cabot asked, โ€œif youโ€™re short theyโ€™re not responsible?โ€

The Booby Prize Award to model Irene Ferrari, reportedly the bearer of Russiaโ€™s largest silicon breasts. She sued Swiss International Air Lines for $121,000 (U.S.) in restitution after her left breast hit the seat in front during midair turbulence:ouch:. According to her lawyer, she earlier won a similar suit against an unnamed airline because one of her breasts exploded on landing. :shock:

The Caught With His Pants Down Award to a male employee at the Hyatt hotel in Deerfield, Ill., who made Dayanara Fernandezโ€™s stay a drag. The woman walked into her room to discover the man playing dress-up with one of her skirts, a pair of high heels and her underwear. โ€œMe like, me like,โ€ he told her. After changing in the bathroom, he left saying, โ€œDonโ€™t tell, donโ€™t tell.โ€ She did. He was arrested and fined. Ms. Fernandez is suing Hyatt Corp.

The You Canโ€™t Please Everyone Award to finicky travellers who posted their disappointments on the Australian version of travel.com. One person complained that there werenโ€™t enough kangaroos in Sydney, while another bellyached about too few English-speaking people in Europe. One woman was furious when she found the $10 Gucci bag she bought in China was a fake. Most surprisingly, one man griped about his airline seat being so comfortable he fell asleep when he wanted to stay awake.

The Heads You Lose Award to two American men who bought unusual souvenirs while holidaying on the Greek island of Mykonos โ€“ six fake skulls, or so they thought. They planned to use them for Halloween. Security agents at Athens airport found their treasures. They called in the coroner who ruled the skulls were real. The tourists were charged with desecrating the dead. They were later released.

The Hell Hath No Fury Award to a woman miffed that her ex-boyfriend was flying from Toronto to Karachi, Pakistan, to get married. According to Swedish news reports, she phoned in a hoax bomb alert that forced his Pakistan International Airlines flight to make an emergency landing in Stockholm. The 273 passengers were delayed for nine hours. The hapless man was arrested briefly, but released once police checked out his story.

The It Never Hurts To Ask Award to companies and associations that bombard Best Western hotels in Britain with strange requests. A pet loversโ€™ group wanted all twin rooms so guests and dogs could have separate beds. On the other hand, a support group for sex addicts demanded only singles, plus a staff member to make sure delegates made it to bed alone:he: . The chain says it tries to fill all orders, but had to turn down the Tall Persons Club of Great Britain because of a shortage of seven-foot beds.

The Bag of Tricks Award to a Transportation Security Administration worker at Philadelphia airport for his warped sense of humour. After college student Rebecca Solomon had passed through a metal detector, the man pulled a plastic bag filled with white powder from her carry-on. โ€œWhere did you get it?โ€ he asked. Turns out the substance was creatine powder, not cocaine, and had been placed by the worker as a prank. He said she would have to admit it was funny. She filed a complaint. The worker is no longer with the TSA.

The Lost In Translation Award to an employee at the luxury Vilu Reef Beach and Spa resort in the Maldives. He conducted a marriage renewal ceremony for a Swiss couple, both dressed in white for the occasion. But his words in the local language werenโ€™t what the pair thought he was saying. Instead of blessing their union, he declared their marriage illegal and branded them swine and infidels. The video went viral on YouTube. The celebrant was arrested.

The Do You Know Who I Am Award to two Tory cabinet ministers for throwing snit fits at airports. In February, Helena Guergis, then minister of state for the status of women, reportedly arrived at Charlottetown airport at the last minute, berated Air Canada staff, initially refused to remove her boots after they set off a metal detector, complained loudly about being โ€œstuck on this hell hole,โ€ proclaimed she was โ€œdown here working my ass off for you people,โ€ and tried to force open a security door. Days later Veterans Affairs Minister Jean-Pierre Blackburn threw a tantrum at Ottawa airport when he had to surrender a bottle of tequila that exceeded the carry-on limits.

The Cruisinโ€™ For A Bruisinโ€™ Award to Bethsaida Sandoval, a vacation planner with the Royal Caribbean cruise line in Florida. She lifted clientsโ€™ addresses from her work database, supposedly so she could send out birthday and Christmas cards. Palm Beach police suspected another motive. They charged the woman and her husband with breaking into 24 homes while the owners were cruising and making off with flat-screen TVs, guns and jewellery.

The Honeymoon Is Over Award to Moses, a Massachusetts basset hound who chewed his masterโ€™s passport shortly before Eric Mann was to leave on a Cancun honeymoon vacation with his bride Brooke Blew. The local postmaster told him not to apply for a new one as the photo and barcodes were undamaged. Come flight day, both the airline and airport security accepted the tattered document. But Cancun authorities ruled it โ€“ and the newlyweds โ€“ inadmissible and immediately sent them home. The tour operator initially refused to give a refund. Instead the firm sent a letter wishing them โ€œthe joy, funds and time to enjoy multiple honeymoons!โ€

The Vicious Circle Award to a would-be sailor who set off in his motor cruiser for a voyage along the English coast to Southampton. He brought no navigation equipment and no maritime charts. But he had a road map and figured he couldnโ€™t go wrong as long as he kept the shore on his right. Hours later, when he had used up his gas and run aground, he was rescued by the coast guard. Turns out he had never left the Thames estuary and had been going round and round the same small island.

The Sorry Wrong Number Award to the man in Room 119 at a motel in Wenatchee, Wash. Another guest attempted to phone him, but dialled 911 by mistake. Police arrived to see if there was a problem. They arrested the man in 119 on an outstanding warrant and seized heroin and other drugs.

The Blue Streak Award to a 19-year-old Australian man who bet a friend he could travel through Europe naked. All went well until Munich, the 11th city on his tour. Although the temperature was freezing, city police spotted him dressed only in his shoes. They pursued him through the main train station and caught him when he slipped on a wet floor. He was fined โ‚ฌ100 ($131). His excuse: โ€œI simply like to be naked.โ€

The Way The Cookie Crumbles Award to a California man who started acting strangely while flying home from a conference in the Dominican Republic. Kinman Chan screamed while in the restroom and came out with his pants down. While being led to his seat he attempted to hit a female flight attendant. Mr. Chan told police, who laid charges, that he has a medical marijuana card. While waiting for his flight he had eaten double his dose of marijuana cookies.

The Whoโ€™s Been Sleeping In My Bed Award to three British Holiday Inns for launching another new amenity โ€“ human bed-warmers. During a January cold snap, guests who paid an extra fee could have a staff member in a one-piece sleeper suit crawl between their sheets to preheat the bed to 20 C. The service is โ€œa bit like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed,โ€ chain spokeswoman Jane Bednall said. Guest Evan Jones disagreed. โ€œItโ€™s slightly creepy,โ€ he said. โ€œI might pay to not have it.โ€

The New Kid In Town Award to Delta Air Lines for its careless handling of unaccompanied minors. When a woman went to Cleveland airport to pick up her granddaughter who was flying in alone, she was presented with a nine-year-old boy. Meanwhile, the boyโ€™s grandfather was anticipating the ladโ€™s arrival at Boston airport. The carrier had mixed the kids up in Minneapolis-St. Paul and put each on the otherโ€™s connecting flight. The airline put the blame on โ€œa paperwork swap.โ€ Hey, all kids look alike to Delta...what are you complaining about - you wanted a kid, you got one...:na:

The Please Remain Seated Award to WestJet passenger Barbara Morton for having a mid-flight meltdown. Getting up from her seat, she told a flight attendant, โ€œI need morphine now, Iโ€™m on major withdrawal. Iโ€™m going to open that [expletive] door, Iโ€™m getting off.โ€ Passengers and cabin crew restrained her, but not before she had reached for the cabin door, bit a 77-year-old man and kicked a flight attendant in the face. The plane, heading to Halifax from Calgary, made an emergency landing in Winnipeg. The woman was jailed and banned from WestJet for life. :drunk:

The Take This Job And Shove It Award to JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater. As the flight he was working landed at New Yorkโ€™s Kennedy airport, Mr. Slater cursed the passengers over the PA system, helped himself to beer and made his exit down the inflatable emergency chute. A judge ordered him to pay $10,000 (U.S.) in restitution to the airline. But to disgruntled workers everywhere, Mr. Slater became an instant folk hero.
 
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    Blackpink wellness center in Vaughan - 647-395-3188 four Amazing girls to serve you today. Newly renovated, great rooms with shower ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ :heart5
  32. Sunrise Relaxation(416)916-7276:
    Tomorrow@Sunrise Relaxation Downtown: โค๏ธAngela, โค๏ธOlivia, โค๏ธLisa and โค๏ธKitty will be on shift. Call (416)500-0921 for detail schedule and insight info
  33. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Tuesday May 27, 2025, our attendants will be Ada ๐Ÿคฉ, Christina ๐Ÿ‘, Cici ๐Ÿคฉ, Ivy ๐Ÿ˜, Monica ๐Ÿ˜ and Connie ๐Ÿคฉ. Call us at โ˜Ž๏ธ(905) 479-6668โ˜Ž๏ธ to book!
  34. wilson holistic centre:
    new girl works at ๐Ÿ’‹535 Evans Ave today ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ416-531-6969โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ
  35. SL East Spa:
    ๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™€๐Ÿ’–Monday ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’– Ultimate destination for Asian massages๐ŸŽ‰ Two fab spots: SL Richmond Hill & SL West Oakvilleโœจ Your passport to paradise with 10 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea โ€” Top Star Jenny, ๐Ÿ†• Elsa, Coco, Eva, Cindy, Kelly, Amber, Busty Echo, Yoyo, JPN Yui & Juliet โ€” ๐Ÿ๐ŸŽˆ Hit up 647-695-6354๐Ÿค™ or text to ๐Ÿ“ฑ647-578-8169 โœจ160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, Richmond Hill ๐Ÿ’ฐWhere Eastern charm meets Western comfort - your bliss awaits๐Ÿ™Œ
  36. wilson holistic centre:
    new girl works at ๐Ÿ’‹535 Evans Ave today ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ416-531-6969โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ
  37. wonderspa:
    wonderspa: ๐ŸŒบWonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800โ˜Ž๏ธbest massage in vaughan,๐Ÿ’„sexy very young girl Mimi๏ผŒlong legs ,natural c cup,very good looking amazing massage nice body slide,really popular ๐ŸŽlong hair mina smile,very good looking ,strong to relax oil ,back walk,more experience โค๏ธvery sexy Vietnamese girl Amy,open maid,amazing the end,really popular,must try๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿฅคall awesome massage ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน
  38. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    โœจClick on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! โœ… Click Here Today๐ŸŒธSamy๐ŸŒธPriya๐ŸŒธLynda๐ŸŒธAletta๐ŸŒธIsabella๐ŸŒธIvy Call us โ˜Ž 905 - 265 - 2158โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate service awaits! โœจ
  39. DareDevil:
    366 ARIA WELLNESS โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธADDRESS: 360 HWY 7, UNIT #6, RICHMOND HILL,647-222-5683 โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ(PHONES CALL ONLY, NO TEXT'N AVAILABLE) โ™ฅ๏ธTODAY'S Schedule!โ™ฅ๏ธ Loaded lineup with Beautiful Girls : New young RMT student Helen, Fun girl Apple, Magical Mia and Work out๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿšด๐Ÿ’ช Babe Amy! SPECIAL PROMO 30 MINS 2 GIRLS $70 ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน**TODAY'S PICKS OF THE DAY ARE ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿญ APPLE AND HELEN๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿญ**
  40. Soul Relax Spa:
    โœจ Looking for a relaxing escape? โœ… Click Here Meet๐ŸŒธCarly๐ŸŒธBrandy๐ŸŒธKellyCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now โ˜Ž 289 - 298 - 5662โ˜Ž๏ธ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! โœจ
  41. Spa in Markham:
    GOLDEN FS โ€“ 8380 Kennedy Rd ๐Ÿ“ž 905-258-0777 / 416-688-6886 ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ VANESSA, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ JULIE (2PM), ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ด MEGAN (8PM), ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ KELLY, ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ SONIA (8PM), ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ JESSIE ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookinggoldenlove
  42. FLOWER Spa - BLUEXADO | Thornhill | VAUGHAN:
    BLUEXADO FS โ€“ #06-1102 Centre St ๐Ÿ“ž 416-357-9797 / 416-678-8668 ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ CICI, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ AMY, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ SHERRY ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookingbluexadolove
  43. FLOWER Spa โ€“ PINK | Scarborough | TORONTO:
    PINK FS โ€“ 3300 McNicoll Ave ๐Ÿ“ž 416-299-5515 / 416-817-3839 ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท ELINA, ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ญ MADY, ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ CANDY, ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ NANCY ๐Ÿ”Ž View Schedule: bit.ly/flowers_schedule ๐Ÿ›Ž๏ธ Booking Now: bit.ly/bookingpinklove
  44. SpringGreen.:
    Today we have 5 girls on downtown Toronto 72 gerrard st west๏ผš๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹ New girl Hitti very young๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹Lisa- Tanned Spanish beauty with large melons and a fun booty too minica- exotic goddess with a gymnasts body and corresponding flexibility Jennifer- Exotic beauty with... Call and text 647 891 0699 ask question :heart4 :heart4 :heart4
  45. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
    ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’JENNYโ€™S SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…5170 DUNDAS STREET WESTโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ( 647-893-5196)โ˜Ž๏ธCall or Text โ˜Ž๏ธ( 437-888-3759)โ˜Ž๏ธCall Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY ๐Ÿ”ฅโœ…GRAND OPENING๐Ÿ’ฏNEW GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅEXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNYโ€™S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ”ฅโค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ”ฅTWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฏREAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‹Limited Time Special Promotion๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’‹ โœ…๐Ÿ’ฆ30 Minutes Nude Mass
  46. AliceSpa:
    3 Sexy Young Girls Today at Alice Spa. Open 10am to 9pm : CLOUDIA (12pm-9pm): is Vietnamese, young, petite 5'2" & 96 Lbs, B Cup, best rim deep bbbj cim. $40 Room Fee + $80 (incl bbbj & fs). +$20 for rim/cim. Excellent open minded services. SKY (10:30am-9pm): is Part time girl from Indonesia, petite 5'2", B Cup, 100 Lbs, long black hair, new to the biz.Young, fresh/cute, pretty, submissive, slim tiny waist, fair skin. bbbj
  47. ForeverWarden:
    Monday at ๐Ÿซฆโค๏ธ๐Ÿ”ดโ™พ๏ธ๐“•๐“ž๐“ก๐“”๐“ฅ๐“”๐“ก ๐“ข๐“Ÿ๐“โ™พ๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐Ÿ”ดโค๏ธ๐Ÿซฆ 2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฌ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด๐Ÿณ: Bella, Yumi & Cindy. Bella is around 5โ€™3โ€ with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Yumi is a young half Chinese / /half Korean very sexy & slim beauty, can do bbbj cim, excellent services...
  48. HolidaySpa:
    Monday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธ: AMY, FIONA & CINDY. AMY is an attractive young lady with larger breasts and a nice bottom. She has outstanding oral skills, and is very popular. Donโ€™t miss out on her special skills! FIONA is a slim hottie with long dark hair, great melons and ass, and nice services. CINDY is slim
  49. SugarLoveSpa:
    Monday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œโŽ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”โŽ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: ANA, CHRISTINA, MIA, TIFFANY & VIVI. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž ANA is a young, short and sweet lady, 5โ€™1 & 105 Lbs, very tight, with a small to medium booty. Ana is a versatile honey who provides great massage, & can accommodate your needs. CHRISTINA is Spanish, C Cups, 5'3", tall & nice curves, very open mind
  50. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 young girls are working today, young pretty Lily 25โ€™s with curve body and flirty Ivy 36DD with curly body 30โ€™s open mind, young sweet popular Michelle 26โ€™s with curve body open mind and cute GFE Ella are providing deep tissue massage, pls call 4163985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome,back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
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