How to Shower

[ilovejustinbieber(:]

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights & darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown
If you see husband/boyfriend along the way cover up any exposed area.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror-make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth,arm cloth,leg cloth,long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with enhanced ingredients of grapefruit and mint.
Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub.
Wash entire body with ginger nut and jaffa cake wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair-Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower-squeeze off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower-Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown with the hand towel on head.


HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take clothes off while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife/girlfriend along the way,shake willy at her making the "woo-woo"sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower
Wash your face
Wash your armpits
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair
Make a shampoo mohawk
Wee
Rinse off and get out of the shower
Partially dry off
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of the bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open,wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass your wife/girlfriend.pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE ALL LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE IT'S SO TRUE!!!!

 

[aHexTroure]

I was laughing so hard, it made my husband remember I was in the room while the TV was on - amazing.! Thanks, I really enjoyed that!

Nellx

 

[03terrier]

Have you been spying on my OH, Kachina. LOFL[sm=rollaugh.gif]

 

[BirJunouoi]

Hi Kachina

I love this. So glad that my husband doesn't do ALL of those things! You didn't mention daughters. My daughter will spend at least 20 minutes in the shower (shorter if the hot water runs out!), leave all the lids off shampoo, conditioner etc. She leaves the comb she uses to brush through conditioner, with all the hair still in it. Hair in the plug hole and towels wherever they drop. It is a good job we have the magic fairies that come around afterwards and clear it all up!!!

I sometimes have very clever children that can manage to have a wash without getting the flannel or the sink wet, and leave the towel beautifully folded - just like I left it!! I am sure I am not the only parent who has children this clever!

With love

Jacquie [sm=newangel.gif]

 

[Ray Green]

This one often appears in the Jokes Forum, but hey, it's good to see it again!

 

[ewjmckqd]

Thanks alot for this subjecet