How To Use Massage To Have Better Sex - Bustle

massage

Registered
Joined
Apr 23, 2013
Messages
147,561
Reaction score
826
Points
113
Yeah, yeah: Everyone everywhere promises better, hotter, more fulfilling sex, pledging mind-bending orgasms and life-changing sex positions left and right. One thing you don't often hear: how massage improves your sex life. This is not a drill, folks. One thing that can actually lead to amazing sex and intimacy giving your partner a massage to help them relax, Steve McGough, an associate professor of clinical sexology, tells Bustle. If I could insert an emoji here, it would be the high-five hands. Or the hands thrown in the air in jubilance. Or the angel smiley face. Whatever: Suffice it to say that I agree. Wholeheartedly. From the core of my soul.


"Massage is one great thing couples can do each day to enhance intimacy," McGough tells Bustle. And it doesn't have to be some epic massage sesh, though there certainly is nothing wrong with that. "They can enjoy wonderful benefits from just a brief, five-minute session," he says. "It not only helps reduce stress and anxiety, when done in a supportive way, it provides a powerful new way to communicate affection and share intimacy." Many yeses to that.

Here's why, he says: Studies have found that massage can help reduce stress hormone levels, including cortisol and adrenocorticotropin. High stress hormone levels result in a lowered libido (sad-face emoji). Not only that, he says, massage also enhances your 'feel good' hormones, aka oxytocin and serotonin, "which profoundly helps intimacy."

1daa4ab0-7157-0133-4d78-0e3f8b958f63.gif


McGough includes a caveat: "One critical point, though, is there must be the the mutual understanding that there is no obligation for the massage to lead to sexual activity." Understood. "This can increase the receiving partners stress if they aren't in the mood." OK, proceed.

"Each partner verbally commits to massaging each other simply to help them relax and feel good," he says. "The partner giving the massage should understand — and be OK with — the idea that it will often just be a massage, and nothing more." But it could be more, and sometimes massage might be just the ticket for getting things flowing. Things calm down, your partner feels less stressed, the music is really nice . . . But "if the other partner chooses to engage in other activities, it is completely up to them," McGough reaffirms. "There should never be an obligation.

McGough shared a simple trick which you can enjoy each night, he says. "This can be done while laying side by side in bed, and only takes a few minutes. Alternate nights for each person, or however you choose to do it." Take turns!

"Give this a try for several nights, and see what happens to your intimacy," suggests McGough. "If you have trouble remembering the steps, maybe write them down on a piece of paper and tape them by the bed where you can easily see them." Of course, this isn't the be-all and end-all technique — there are hundreds of ways to massage your partner — but this is McGough's go-to. I'll tell you one thing: Just reading these seven steps makes me ache for a massage. BRB, going home to beg for one!

Step 1:

1daf1bb0-7157-0133-4d78-0e3f8b958f63.gif


"The partner giving the massage first rubs the other's ears. Grasp the ear with one hand with your thumb, pointer and index fingers, and massage all parts of the ear. Then gently pull on the ear lobes several times. Repeat this with the other ear."

Step 2:

1db136e0-7157-0133-ed03-0aa00699013d.gif


"Take about a minute massaging the forehead and scalp with your fingertips."

Step 3:

1db1e120-7157-0133-9ef3-0af7184f89fb.gif


"Place the palm of your hand on their collar bone and gently press, while rubbing from the outside shoulder inward and back. Do this about 20 times for each side."

Step 4:

1daf5df0-7157-0133-0c64-0e34a4cc753d.gif


Grasp each forearm and repeatedly squeeze as firmly as your partner likes, from the top of the forearm to the hand. Repeat this a few times. Then do this on the hand, squeezing each finger. Do this for both hands.

Step 5:

1dad5e10-7157-0133-6e56-0aecee5a8273.gif


"Press your hand on your partner's abdomen just above their pubic bone, and rub in a clockwise circular motion up just to where their rib cage starts and then back down again. It's great if you can rub 108 circles. Do this as firmly as your partner desires."

Step 6:

9b50a850-7157-0133-0c69-0e34a4cc753d.gif


"Press your hand firmly on your partner's outside thigh and rub in a firm, sweeping motion from the knee up to the hip, on the outside of the leg up to the hip. Then return the motion, pressing on the inside of the leg back to the knee again. Do this 20 or so times, or as long as your partner wants on each leg. Note that it's important your partner can trust that you are doing this just for their relaxation, and sexual intimacy is not expected as a result. You're doing this just because feels really nice and is relaxing."

Step 7:

9b4e1090-7157-0133-4d80-0e3f8b958f63.gif


"Once you've completed this, lay in a close comfortable embrace, and try a game where the partner that gave the massage consciously matches the breathing of the partner who received the massage. Do this for a few minutes."

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to help him last longer:


Images: Fotolia; WiffleGif (7)

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service - if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.
 
Shoutbox
  1. wonderspa:
    🌺🌺Wonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800☎️best massage in vaughan,💄sexy very young girl Sunny natural c cup,very good looking nice body slide😻 🍎long hair Lucy come back,very good strong to relax oil massage, Relieve pain and remove stress,more experience.😍new very beautiful long hair lily,slimy body,amazing touch, back walk,hot stone,popular friendly girl,must try😍😍
  2. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Thursday April 3, 2025, our attendants will be Ada 🤩, Cici 😍, Vicky 😘, Sophie ☀ and Monica 😘. Call us at (905) 479-6668 to book!
  3. yoko:
    sister spa
  4. Soul Relax Spa:
    ✨ Looking for a relaxing escape? ✅ Click Here Meet🌸Tina🌸Mya🌸MonikaCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now ☎ 289 - 298 - 5662☎️ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! ✨
  5. Golden Flower Spa:
  6. BlueXado Therapy & Spa:
  7. Pink Flower Spa:
  8. Joseph123456:
    Just relax review
  9. Alibi Massage and Spa:
    Unwind in ALIBI 🥀 this WEDNESDAY: Jasmine, Kay, Jade, Sandy 📞905 212 1222📍1380 Matheson Blvd East, Mississauga
  10. EMSpa_schedule:
    For Wednesday April 2, 2025, our attendants are Sandy 😘, Opal 🥰, Cici 😍, Yoyo 🔥 and Carla ❣. Call us at (905) 479-6668 to book your favourite and head on over to 7665 Kennedy Road, Unit 4, Markham, ON, Canada!
  11. Red Rose Spa:
    🌸 We have 5 hot brown girls today 🌸 PAOLA, AMMU, MONIKA, ANGELINA, NISHA, KIRAN, DIYA, ANGEL 🌸 2588 Birchmount 🌸 2 Invergordon 🌸 647-702-8800 🌸 Please visit for a great erotic massage
  12. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️( 647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️( 437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥 💯REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯 🔥💋Limited Time Special Promotion🔥💋 ✅💦30 Minutes Nude Massage w
  13. Lily Spa:
    ❤️ KAJAL, ELENA and SUSU are here today for your massage needs ❤️ Lily Spa ❤️ 2190 McNicoll ❤️ Scarborough ❤️ M1V 5M2 ❤️ (647) 531-8288 ❤️
  14. SugarLoveSpa:
    hi today have Susan, Ella, Tifany, Lisa come baby all young beautiful girls
  15. Moneylee:
    All season wellness center : New Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Zoe ,young girl pretty face nice figure Thai deep massage Helen,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament summer ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella , Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry ,address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2☎️4376655510 🦵🦵👅👅🈵🈵👄👄
  16. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️ (647) 891-9688☎️ ☎️ (416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 9:30am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Feifei😘Our new Taiwanese beauty Feifei specializes in creating an intimate and deeply relaxing massage experience tailored to your desires. Her soft, skilled hands glide effortlessly, easing tension and awakening your senses with
  17. Moneylee:
    Full season wellness center: Young girl Big-breasted big big butts Aris , Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Rose,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Julia ,Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage maggie,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. 🏠 2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 ☎️ 4379857899 🦵🦵👅👅👄👄🈵🈵
  18. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    ✨Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! ✅ Click Here Today🌸Akame🌸Christina🌸Camila🌸Lynda🌸Antonela Call us ☎ 905 - 265 - 2158☎️ Your ultimate service awaits! ✨
  19. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 masseuse are working today. Vicky,Mia,Ella and Lina are providing deep tissue massage, pls call 4163985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available. 350 Wilson Ave North York
  20. AliceSpa:
    WEDNESDAY at 𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔 416-298-0898, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough 3 very nice girls here today. Open 10am to 9pm: AMY (12pm – 9pm) is a young, petite short & slim Taiwanese, former dance instructor, firm natural B Cups, pretty face, firm natural titis, super play good, bbbj, cim, rim, dfk, all services. APPLE: from Hong Kong, very small body, 5' 100Lbs, petite with natural C Cups
  21. HollywoodSpa:
    Wednesday at 🎭𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗬𝗪𝗢𝗢𝗗 𝗦𝗣𝗔🎭, 4578 Yonge St, Unit 100, North York, ON: NICOLE & SISI. ☎𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟮𝟮𝟮-𝟱𝟱𝟱𝟰☎ NICOLE is petite, slim and very pretty, with C Cups , long hair & a slim waist. She has nice massage and great services. SISI is a sweet slim beauty, 5’2”, with a beauty ass, excellent massage, and amazing services. Come and see why she is so popular. When you visit 🎭Hollywood
  22. ForeverWarden:
    Wednesday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Bella, Cindy & Sasa. Bella is around 5’3” with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups. Her massage is nice, her services will drive you wild & her finish is a dream
  23. HolidaySpa:
    Wednesday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️: EMILY, KIKI & CINDY. EMILY is a VERY tiny petite SPINNER superstar of the highest quality. Emily has a pretty face, natural A Cups, slim waist, and a lovely spinner bottom, topped off with the very best of services. Kiki is very attractive, young, about 5’4” and 110 Lbs., slim with a banging body.
  24. SugarLoveSpa:
    Wednesday at ❤️💙 💜⎝𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗔𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔⎠💖💗💘: ELLA, LISA, SUSAN & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON ☎ 𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟯𝟲𝟱-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎ ELLA is a lovely Thai sweetheart, 5’1” with C Cups, smooth skin and a very pleasing attitude. LISA is a cute & petite Thai/Chinese mixed beauty with decent massage skills and liberal services.
  25. luckywellness:
    Lucky Wellness Center 4379721888 295 Eglinton Ave E,Unit 7,Mississauga Niko and Kiki work
  26. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa 🌹🌹🌹2 girls 🔥🔥🔥5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke☎️416-817-3366👍 New Japanese girl Nina ❤️ Natural Big Boobs 38 DD 😘Pink Mini Nipples Hot body slide, super enjoyable😘😘😘😘 very provocative service😘😘😘, professional super Luna deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise😍😍😍😍❤️You are welcome to make an appointment at any time or walk in the back
  27. Lulu_Villa_Spa:
    Barbie Petite Korea Part time School girl Cici Cute Skinny Vietnamese Girl Natalie she is CBC/filipina mixed Petite girl Judy is a gorgeous model type Vietnamese Girl ☎️647- 446-0886
  28. DareDevil:
    ARIA WELLNESS ADDRESS: 360 HWY 7, UNIT #6, RICHMOND HILL,647-222-5683/905.886.9993 (PHONES CALL ONLY, NO TEXT'N AVAILABLE) ♥️TODAY'S Schedule!♥️ Loaded lineup with Young Beautiful Girls : Young Lovely Lori, New Girl Chloe, Magical Mia and Work out🏋🚴💪 Babe Amy! BUY 10 HOURS (GET 11 HOURS) **TODAY'S PICK OF THE DAY IS CHLOE**
  29. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Wednesday April 2, 2025, our attendants will be Sandy 😍, Opal 🤩, Cici 🤗, Yoyo 🍑 and Carla 💋. Call us at (905) 479-6668 to book!
  30. BlueXado Therapy & Spa:
  31. Golden Flower Spa:
  32. Pink Flower Spa:
  33. New spring spa@:
    ❤️❤️❤️sexy hot Germany🌸Korean 🌸 Japanese girl working at💓💓 Nu spring spa ☎️416-669-8508❤️❤️❤️
  34. DareDevil:
    ARIA WELLNESS ADDRESS: 360 HWY 7, UNIT #6, RICHMOND HILL,647-222-5683/905.886.9993 (PHONES CALL ONLY, NO TEXT'N AVAILABLE) ♥️TODAY'S Schedule!♥️ Loaded lineup with Young Beautiful Girls : Young Lovely Lori, Baby Selena, Elegant Ella, Magical Mia and Work out🏋🚴💪 Babe Amy! BUY 10 HOURS (GET 11 HOURS) **TODAY'S PICK OF THE DAY IS ELLEGANT ELLA OR BABY SELENA**
  35. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa 🌹🌹🌹3 girls 🔥🔥🔥5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke☎️416-817-3366👍 New girl New girl Maggie 😘😘😘😘sexy body, round buttocks, charming breasts, small nipples (customer feedback) 😘super body slide, very provocative service😘😘😘, professional super Luna deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise😍😍😍😍❤️ You are welcome to make an appointment at an
  36. Golden Sunshine Spa:
    ✨Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates and special services ! ✅ Click Here Today🌸Susan🌸Cassy🌸Luna🌸Lynda🌸Lily Call us ☎ 905 - 265 - 2158☎️ Your ultimate service awaits! ✨
  37. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️( 647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️( 437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥 💯REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯 🔥TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: Tina😘- A sexy new petite girl from Singapore w
  38. wonderspa:
    . 🌺🌺Wonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800☎️best massage in vaughan,Tuesday RMT available, Today's special recommendation 💄sexy very young girl Mimi,natural c cup,very good looking nice body slide,really popular 😻 🍎long hair Lucy Q smile,very good strong to relax oil massage, Relieve pain and remove stress,more experience .must try🌹💋give you amazing time🔥
  39. Annie Spa:
    🎉🍒ANNIE SPA🎉🍒 ✅7-1001 SANDHURST CIRCLE✅ 👌SCARBOROUGH ON M1V 1Z6👌 ☎️ (647) 891-9688☎️ ☎️ (416) 291-8879☎️ (FINCH & MCCOWAN) OPEN 9:30am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥🔥 🔥GORGEOUS NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS - TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: 🔥 Molly🔥😘Our new quick witted and funny girl Molly is here to entertain you not only with her sensual massage skills but also with her sense of humour and her happy go lucky friendly attitude. Molly, a fair skinned mixed race beauty h
  40. Soul Relax Spa:
    ✨ Looking for a relaxing escape? ✅ Click Here Meet🌸Nina🌸Anna🌸AmberCall us today for the best treatment and service experience. Click on our Username and FOLLOW US for updates ! Call now ☎ 289 - 298 - 5662☎️ Your ultimate relaxation awaits! ✨
  41. SugarLoveSpa:
    Tuesday at ❤️💙 💜⎝𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗔𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔⎠💖💗💘: JENNY, MIMI, & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York. JENNY is a sweet & young Korean girl with C Cups. Very versatile services. MIMI is a slim & busty Asian/Euro mix beauty, 50Kgs & 1M60. Mimi has a very versatile range of services. TIFFANY is an amazing slim petite doll with natural 34C melons, slim waist
  42. SugarLoveSpa:
    hi Sugar Love Spa today have 👙Mimi, 👙Jenny, 👙Tifany come to enjoy perfect time Sugar Love spa☎️☎️ (437) 365-2688📲☎️
  43. HolidaySpa:
    Tuesday at 🌴😎🌅𝓗𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓢𝓹𝓪🌅😎🌴3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough ☎️𝟰𝟯𝟳-𝟮𝟰𝟳-𝟭𝟭𝟵𝟵☎️: EMMA, YOYO & CINDY. EMMA is a very beautiful slim Chinese honey with C Cups, beauty face, & nice services to drive you wild. YOYO is a very beautiful slim Chinese lady, 165Cms & 116 Lbs with natural D Cups & a VERY sexy figure. She provides the best versatile services. YOYO is a hidden GEM, & a total SUPERSTAR!
  44. Moneylee:
    All season wellness center: Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Helen ,Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Tina ,Young girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament big boobs Cindy ,Student big boobs buttocks Vicky, Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Sherry ,🏠address: #5-30 Rambler dr Brampton ,Ontario L6W 1E2☎️4376655510 🦵🦵👄👄👅👅🈵🈵
  45. Moneylee:
    full season wellness center: NewYoung girl big breasted beautiful buttocks charming temperament Cherry ,Young beautiful face sexy body and good deep massage Selena ,Young girl big boobs beautiful face deep massage Bobo ,Young girl Big breasted saucy naughty Ella,Enchanting sexy petite deep massage Mary. 🏠 2560 Shepard ave Mississauga unit 1 ☎️ 4379857899 🦵🦵👄👄🈵🈵👅👅
  46. HollywoodSpa:
    Tuesday at 🎭𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗬𝗪𝗢𝗢𝗗 𝗦𝗣𝗔🎭, 4578 Yonge St, Unit 100, North York, ON: COCO & SISI. ☎416-222-5554☎ COCO is an attractive attendant with nice massage skills & good services. SISI is a sweet slim beauty, 5’2”, with a beauty ass, excellent massage, and amazing services. Come and see why she is so popular. When you visit 🎭Hollywood Spa🎭, you will be treated with tender care
  47. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am, New First Day, Young Cute Chinese Jesse, Slim Petite Chinese Vivi & Young Slim Sexy Chinese Faye
  48. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 young girls are working today.Young pretty Vicky 25’s with curve body good massage and young sweet Mia 25’s good massage, young cute Sophia 27’s slime and nice GFE Lina and young student Taiwanese Victoria 25’s slime open mind are providing deep tissue and sensual massage,pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in always welcome, back entrance and parking available. 350 Wilson Ave North York
  49. ForeverWarden:
    Tuesday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Cindy, Tracy & Vivian. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups. Her massage is nice, her services will drive you wild & her finish is a dream come true. Tracy is an incredibly cute & pretty Japanese/Taiwanese mixed spinner, about 5’1” and 100 lbs. She is very popular for her exotic massage & services.
  50. Red Rose Spa:
    🌸 We have 13 hot brown girls today 🌸 MONICA, ASHA, SARIKA, AMMU, MONIKA, ANGEL, AMANDA, PREETI, ANGELINA, NISHA, DIYA, SALMA 🌸 2588 Birchmount 🌸 2 Invergordon 🌸 647-702-8800 🌸 Please visit for a great erotic massage
Back
Top