I don't have anything better to do so I am just gonna write somethings here. Hope no one minds.
This was a long long time ago but I need it out of my system.
The first time I saw her photo I was convinced she is the reason I got into mongering. Her silky smooth skin, her long luscious hair resting against half of her face, they way she partially smiles in her selfies as if she wants to keep an air of secrecy around her, and a lot of other things that I want to mention but in the interest of keeping this short won't, had me mesmerized. I used to think about the day I will finally get to meet her, treat her like a lady with the proper amount of respect she deserves but no so much as to appear lacking a sexual vigor.
I dreamed about kissing her thighs and putting her pleasures above mine, to please her in a way no man ever could, to run out of breath as she suffocated me in between her thighs, to be the reason she moaned in pure unadulterated bliss. I searched the entire forum for any mention of her. There wasn't much to go on as this was before she became a known and infamous heart-breaker but I was determined. I wanted to witness her in real life. So I decided to set a date and time and coordinated with her.
She was quite flirty in her communications with me. And although I knew that's just the way she probably talks to most of her other patrons I was still enamored. I did not know what fate had in store for me. I cleaned myself like I had never before to appear as desirable to her as she did to me. I leave early so that she doesn't have to spend a single moment alone waiting for me. She had confirmed the meeting with me over our text communications. She had already approved of me calling her on her number.
So when I get close I try to call her, she didn't pick up. "Odd!" I say to myself "It's OK she might just be busy hailing a cab or getting in a rickshaw". She tells me that she will be a bit late over text. A bit disappointed albeit still excited I reply back saying that it's OK I'll wait for her and again confirm with her if it's OK if I call her. She replies "yes".
A considerable time passes and I go to check on her. I message her but the message won't reach her as she is not online. So I call her, she does not pick up. The panic is slowly crawling up on me so I start repeatedly calling her. On some tries her phone number comes up as busy and on other tries she refuses to pick up my call. I don't want to accept it but the realization that I have been played dawns on me.
At this point I am not angry at all. All I feel is disappointment. Disappointment in myself, disappointment in every single bad choice I have made in life that collectively brought me to where I was at that moment.
But as you might have guessed it I tried to meet her again and yes she did talk to me again, via text of course. But unfortunately things didn't pan out this time either and I decided to let her go. But her memory and the possibility of our passionate love making still remained dormant somewhere in my psyche.
Till this day I do not know if she is real or not. Whether the stories of her being a fraud and a blackmailer are true or not.
But Roshni if you are reading this, I hope you are not what people claim you are and that you did all that only because you had personal issues to take care of.
I wish you a good life.