Jokes dedicated for Married persons

[brittisaSag]

A friend asked a lady: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?"
"Yes, a strand of my husband's hair."
"But your husband's still alive!"
"Yes, but his hair's gone."


*First Soldier: "What made U go into the army?"
Second Soldier: "I had no wife and I loved war. What about you?"
First Soldier: "Well, I had a wife and loved peace."


* They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense


*It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women. and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!


* It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to protect a country
BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ...... the KAAMWALI


*A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!


*What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!


* Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".


* Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.


* Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.


* If your wife wants to learn to drive,
don't stand in her way.

* Behind every great man,
there is a surprised woman.

* Some people kiss with both eyes closed. Too bad they marry the same way.


* The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.


* A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.


* I always leave an empty milk carton in the refrigerator just in case someone wants Black Coffee.


* Getting caught is the mother of Invention.

* Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone.

* The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.

* Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay: We need your heads to run our business.

* A traffic slogan: Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be.


* Sign in a restaurant: All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.

* Sign on a famous beauty parlor window:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother.

* My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.


* My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.


* A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.


* I bought my wife a new car.
She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied,. In the lake."


* The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

* After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied,
"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."


* When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her



* I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.


* My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.


* A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.


* Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.


* A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


* Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa, a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.


* Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.


* A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."


* A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied,


* Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.


* It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

* Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.


* Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life Thinking they had no faults at all.


* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


* A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says,. Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."


* Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

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[alizemuffin]

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[oops]

ha ha ha :lmao:

 

[lululemon436]

:::
brilliant compilation...........

 

[Flarbamusabut]

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

[beachchick]

^Ok its not that funny

 

[questiongirl94]

NIce Compilation ::