A young man goes to a plastic surgeon because he's got a very small d i c k.
The surgeon tells him he could be helped but it means taking implanting parts from a baby elephants trunk. The man agrees & the operation is a great success.
A few days later, he decides to celebrate & takes out an old girlfriend for a romantic meal to tell her how everything could be different between them now.
Suddenly, his new appendage flies out of his trousers, grabs a bread roll & disappears.
"Wow, that,s quite a trick!" says the girl. "Do it again."
But the young man, with a pained look on his face, replies, "I'm not sure if my arse could stand another bread roll,"
A wife's face was so badly injured in an accident it required plastic surgery.
"We can do it," the surgeon said, "but it will cost you £2000 & we will need to take skin off your backside,"
The man agreed & the operation was a great success. His wife was even more beautiful. Afew days later the plastic surgeon rang the husband to tell him he paid £500 too much.
"Oh no," said the husband, "the extra is for the extra pleasure i get everythime i see my mother in law kiss my arse."
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time which produced an a impressive set off caluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which madehim rather frail & with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystechexed by halitosis.[ with profound apologies to Mary Poppins]