LETTERS TO A BARGIRL (part 4/4)
Everyday while I’m droving to my office, I’m listening to the Tai Oratai CD we have bought together. And when I’m stuck in the traffic jam I have recollections of some of the time we spent together.
I remember that first time when we walked down Uttaratit road, in hand in hand like lovers. I was nearly crushing your hand with my grip; I’m so sorry but I don’t know how to do otherwise. Either I hold your hand, either not. But you know many farangs are binary; things are black or white, good or bad. That’s why we are very often excessive in our behaviour and unable to compromise. Unlike other before you, you were not complaining but I knew that it may have been somehow uncomfortable for you. Your long thin fingers were small in my hand; I liked them, and they seem to have their own life when you did the traditional hands dance. You said you want to study massage at Watt Po, it is indeed a good idea, but I fear your fingers will never be strong enough to apply deep pressure.
I was so surprised that you could walk so fast even with your sky-high heel slip-on shoes. So many people told me that Thais can’t walk fast and especially women. Are you different?
I was just following, happy to be allowed to stay longer with you, not knowing exactly what was next, it was like adventure. When I gave you money a few minutes ago in the room, you made this famous wai sign that is so exotic and so elegant, and I was expecting that you wanted to resume your normal non-farang life. Thinking of it afterward, you could have understood it as a “leave now” signal. One more time you dealt very smartly with that tactless farang…
I was so happy, because of the previous night of course, and because we were staying together a little bit more. At this time I didn’t know that you decided to take me to your home, where you were going to get rid of your bargirl attire before having lunch at restaurant.
I have never seen that before, this method you used to strip off your clothes in front of your roommate and friends while preserving your modesty. That piece of dark cloth with the pink roses pattern in which you wrapped yourself, I found it very beautiful. You looked so exotic inside!
What a gymnastic! First the bra if I remember well. If removing the one you had was already spectacular, slipping on a new one and buckling it was really outstanding. I was expecting the towel to fall down or slip, but it didn’t happen. Comparatively, removing the skirt and knickers and pulling on shorts was simple. I noted also that you put your flip-flops on with relief.
In the street we were coming across other couples. Most regular couples are *****ing at each other and specially the French one; the missus want to do some more shopping, some more price comparison to find the better bargain. The mister is quite burnt out, but he follows like a dog, his mind wandering, looking vacantly at his surrounding and avoiding at any cost ogling at the beautiful girls that surround him. I know because it could be me, but I will never come here with my wife. No matter how much they love themselves, living and ageing together a long time has taken its tool.
And then, there is the other kind of improbable couple, like us. Most bargirls are wearing jeans and tank top; I prefer your evening dress style. They are not smiling, they look tired, it is so easy to forget it is a job for you, and some of them are speaking over their mobile. For that matter, you have been so nice to switch it off during the time we stayed together. Only a few calls in five days, it was against all statistics. I can tell you that I wouldn’t have withstood incessant calls, which would have been the immediate end of our partnership. I hate phone, did you guess it? The men that follow them are not smiling either. May be they had a hang over. Not for me.
******
I’m thinking about you more than I care to admit.
You have guessed quite quickly about my dream. I said to you almost nothing about it and you inferred the rest. There is a cultural and language gap between us, and yet you overcame it so easily. That’s disturbing me, how can I be so easy to read?
Now this is only a crazy dream as I can’t stay a long time in Thailand and I can’t come very often. What kind of husband or father I would be? You said also “not now” answering to an unspoken question that I’m not even sure I would have asked to you. I need to go see a fortune teller too.
What can I say more? Nothing beside that I wish you all the best luck in your life.
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De : T******@hotmail.com
ہ :
[email protected]
Date : mardi 10 avril 2007 06 :31
Objet : Hello
Hello GoP,
How are you doing? I’m sorry that I don’t have time to reply you. Thank you so much for everything that you give me. I’m so happy with all the pictures you’ve sent to me. I like them all. How have you been doing lately? Is everything is fine with you? Please take care of yourself and I wish you all the best luck.
T**
De :
[email protected]
ہ : T******@hotmail.com
Date : mardi 10 avril 2007 09 :03
Objet : Hello and bye-bye!
Dear T**,
I'm now back in France and I will stay here at least for 3 months.
I'm fine and fit.
If you are happy with the pictures then I'm happy too. Please find in attachment the last one I have.
I don't know yet if I will be able to come back next year in Phuket. And if I come back I don’t know if I will look for you. A Chinese proverb says that we never bath twice in the same water.
I hope that you too you will take care of yourself, not drinking too much, not smoking, practicing safe sex and praying Buddha. I'm confident that your future is shining.
Best wishes,
Gop