Man are Idiots Really

[OldPilot]

Sometimes people figure this one out fast in life and other times well it takes a while.

She does seem to put a high priority on her sex life, most times to the point of obsession on here.

Frankly I've always wondered why.

 

[Fred]

Well, I'm no shrink but when anyone puts too much emphasis on any one aspect it is usually a cover up for deeper issues.

I don't know if obsession is the correct term, maybe addiction is more appropriate.

I mean, supposedly Brash is her soul mate but if she's out fucking 3 or 4 different women a week, and now she's all in a tizzy because HE'S fucking ONE other woman, there's something wrong with the picture (and it was drawn with a purple crayon to begin with)

 

[Kevin]

I would tend too agree with you

There's a fine line between the two isn't there

Is it possible that she is fibbing about her sexual exploits....I would expect that from a guy but not so much from a female though.

 

[STUDY]

Sigh!

As always, tboy is trying to talk about something he has absolutely no concept of. Maurice, you're not helping much. Open relationship, be they more swinger type or more polyamorous type, are not the beginning of the end. But clear communication skills are a must if such a relationship is to survive. This is the root of the issue Bliss is dealing with.

Blissful, what you're experiencing is a breach of trust from your partner, and you don't seem to be communicating effectively. Your neighbour took your admission that you and Brash are open as license to insinuate herself into your relationship, without knowing the established boundaries. Brash and her get along, great, but you're his primary, and from your original post, it seems like she's worked it so that you're excluded. You and Brash are a package deal, she seems to understand that at some level, but she's also not willing to respect your boundaries. Neither is he.

Ok, so Brash is in the throes of NRE, and yes, you can appreciate it, or celebrate it, whatever. However, he also needs to be aware that his exuberance over the new partner and to maybe tone it down when in front of you. Him not calling you after he's back from a trip with her is a big no-no. Both of them forcing your friendship with her is crossing a boundary that is making you unhappy. I'm seeing a form of emotional blackmail here.

Talk to Brash. Explain to him that this relationship he is cultivating with this woman is straining your relationship. Try to work out a way to resolve this conflict. Then invite the woman over, and the 3 of you talk it out. Maybe she's looking for something he will not be able to provide to her.

But before that, look into yourself. See what it is that is keeping you from liking this woman. Is it an obstacle on your part? Maybe you're not communicating your feelings about this situation properly? If she is so dead set on being your friend, there must be something more than just dating your husband. Are you really giving her a chance?

Please understand I'm not trying to place the blame on you. I'm just trying to cover all the angles, here.

Best of luck, and let me know the turnout.

 

[Pompal 09.]

Thank you very much. I will take a look inside myself why I am having issues with her. I thought I was the primary but that is not how I am being treated. I am the submissive on and they are both controlling. I do not mind Brad but this women

Thanks a lot

 

[Jaguar Jones is uncouth]

This is what I always tell people new to Dom/sub dynamics: submissive does not equal doormat. If something in the relationship is bothering you, speak up. It's what a poly relationship is all about.

 

[Ships Ahoy]

:

I really can't find the words to comment on this turn of events...

Can't say I'm overly surprised though... :shock:

:go:

 

[Silent Arty!]

Oh come on your not trying hard enough,lol.

All us ''man'' are not idiots are we?

 

[Binst is happy]

Depends who you talk to...

Generally speaking, the "all men are idiots" sentiment is shared by women that have been burned multiple times by men with less than honourable intentions, or have insecurity/ emotional demons of their own to deal with and get frustrated when guys don't cater to their every whim and fancy. :shock:

 

[Yvonne K]

The ossosuna's of the world are not helping our plight any though are they?

 

[autumnbrookblue]

Well, it looks like you're not going to get exactly what you want. From your description of the situation, it seems like this neighbour hasn't been entirely reasonable, but of course your perception of things may be biased; still, even if that's right, you need to cope with things as they are. If you can't get exactly what you want, maybe you should try to think of something else that's not exaclty what you want, but still better for you than the current state of affairs, that Brash and the neighbour might agree to?

And to a lot of guys on the thread, what's with the hating on promiscuity? You guys read an escort review board; presumably you see escorts. Could you be any more hypocritical?

 

[Pompal 09.]

Nope... :???:

But... some may say I am in no position to comment on this sorta thing... since Mrs. CG and myself are what would be considered "swingers" as well. She LOVES women... and that is one of the many things I really like about her.

We also recently had a full swap situation that we all really found rather enjoyable. :shock:

Perhaps different than "open" since we don't play apart from each other... IDK, this is all kinda new to me too...

I guess the definition of cheating is doing something you know your partner wouldn't be in complete agreement with...

 

[Jabroni]

CG she enjoyed another man's cock? I don't want to be the bearer of possible bad news but you know where I am going with this don't you?

Bliss the only point I agree with you is that being apart for a bit might be the best medicine for the both of you.

 

[jake long]

It's not the promiscuity per se, it's the hypcritical nature of her rant(s). She's on here almost daily about how she's banged this woman, how she's banged that woman, how every week she has 4 deep relationships blah blah blah and here she is ranting about how such an idiot Brash is because HE'S found someone for a change.

As for an "open marriage being the beginning of the end" it is when you have to fill the void in your marriage 4 or more times a week with another sexual partner. Then consider each of these encounters a deep meaningful relationship (as she alluded to when she was posting on "the other board").

So, if one HAS the NEED to have 4 or more sexual encounters every week, with persons other than their "soul mate" then believe me, it doesn't take an expert to realize that there is something more going on besides the sex.....

 

[Alison W]

I was just reminded by a fellow massageplaneter that, wasn't notsoblissful harping on a hot neighbour that she wanted to bang?

You have to wonder if this is just a jealous rage because the neighbour wanted Brash instead of her and she just can't stand the thought of losing out on another conquest to someone, especially brash.....

But I digress, paying someone to sleep with you really isn't a conquest.....

 

[Cesar]

I fully agree with dreamblade's points.
I hope you all can resolve this situation, your relationship with Brash sounds salvageable to me if you both communicate your feelings.

 

[hgolden]

I just re-read blade's post and missed this the first go 'round:



You do realize who you're talking about right?

I think notsoblissful's communication skills are about as good as her ability to overhaul the turbochargers on a bugatti veyron......

 

[Kaki King]

I realise there's a fellow board member who's in pain and is asking for help. I'm in a unique position to offer some advice, as I'm poly as well. This board is about building a community, we've done really well so far. You seem to have issues understanding this, as all I've seen here is you condemning her, no help whatsoever. I've noticed you confuse judgment and condemnation for opinion, perhaps it's why you've been asked to leave from other boards in the past.

I understand you don't, but I try my best not to judge people on here, living in a glass house and all.

 

[Bizzi]

First of all it is an escort board and if I want to do every scort every minute what is it to you tboy? Jealous in your little Northern Home with the no women to do, or do you have issues because you do. I feel sorry and you are so blind and the reality I should not even encourage your you. IHave a Sweet Christmas tboy.

The woman I am referring to is the woman who was my neighbour's friend not my sweet neighbour. I only help this person out because she needed help. My Neighbour is off sailing the West Indies.

I am still not sure what to do usually I feel sorry for him and I should have thought of his feelings and his side. I always think if it was me.

I am going to sit here and try with all my heart and soul to think from both sides but I do not want to find excuses for her behaviour.

Anyway for those pm ing me thanks and emailing me thats. Maybe tboy and Maurice Boscorelli is righ, with the pain and hurt and the sorrow and so on on, I should just fucking give up because them know better than everybody and I am such a mental case. So maybe I should just fucking end everything.

Thanks for the Christmas Joy and tboy and Maurice I hope to God that when you times come s you do suffer for to long I am going into my 8th year of torture. So I know suck it up. You both are sorry individuals. Your mothers never taught you compassion. One day you will need help and when it comes I truly hope all the people you have put down and insulted will help. You both are right I am not worth being here or escortin or even breathing because you both are so highly educated on interpersonal skills. You both a just pushing me to the final end because in seeing something positive you are making me realize what is the point in struggling with this pain and my sorrow.

Have a wonderful Christmas.

 

[micheleelainehood]

Well, I have never been asked to leave any other board so I don't know where you're getting your info from.

As I said: if someone is genuinely in pain I'll give them sympathy but if someone is a victim of their own life choices, then no sympathy will be forthcoming. In fact, go read some of her posts about me, and then, if you're man enough, write the same thing about her. See, tit for tat.

BTW: I don't know what you mean by "poly". Polygamous? Polygoric? Polyurethane? Poly unsaturate? but anyways, I have known many people like notsoblissful in my life and they THRIVE on drama and if there is no drama in their life? They do something to create it. Then people like you come on here and give them what they crave: that's called enabling.

Another thing you should pay attention to: people like bliss come on here all sweetness and nice with I love yous, merry christmas's etc yet under her breath (and in her posts) she's constantly insulting me and telling me I have sex with a deer? Sorry, I'm a little more direct than that.....

Sorry, there is something seriously wrong with someone who on one thread is trying to pick up another member yet in this thread they are all boo hoo hooing about how their partner is banging someone else.....a little hypocritical don't cha think?

Once again: if someone sticks their hand in a lion's cage, I'm not going to feel sorry for them when they get bit. I'll reserve my sympathy for kids with cancer at sick kids hospital, or abused animals, or those in need through no fault of their own.......