Whether we like to admit it or not, a little bit of jealousy is very normal in the dating world - but one woman has sparked debate online after admitting that her relationship fell apart due to unexpected tensions over a massage.
The anonymous woman, aged 22, explained that she recently went for an appointment at her local spa to get a massage amidst a period of typical life stress. Although she went home feeling rejuvenated, she was surprised to find her 24-year-old boyfriend incredibly unhappy - all thanks to the gender of her masseuse.
"I assumed a girl was gonna do it because I've never seen a male worker there," the woman explained. "But I guess he's the only one that does massages, he's middle aged and I didn't get any creepy vibes so I just got my massage because I've been stressing over school and other things in life.
She continued in a post on Reddit: "I was supposed to give my bf a massage after he got off at work and he asked me 'did I learn anything from her?' and told him it was a man and I didn't learn anything. He got upset with me, telling me I knew that he was uncomfortable and still did what I wanted anyways.
"I think he's being dramatic and blowing it out of proportion. He makes it seem like I went to a random man's house for a massage, when I didn't even know it was gonna be a man till I got there." The 22-year-old's Reddit post was met with hundreds of stunned comments, with users conflicted over her boyfriend's reaction.
"I think he needs to calm down and get over it," one user said. "It was just a massage and nothing happened. Sounds like he's got trust issues." One also added: "Your boyfriend is too insecure to be in an adult relationship," while another chimed in: "If it was a professional massage at a legit professional massage place then it's on him. His insecurity. If you let a coworker or some dude massage you then yeah that's a boundary violation."
However, there were plenty of other users who sided with her boyfriend, with one writing: "There are a lot of women who are uncomfortable with their men getting massages from a woman, and vice versa. This is nothing new. You say you won't care - but you would truly know only when your bf gets a massage from a woman, and tells you after the fact. THAT is when you know how secure you are with that. Till then these are ideas we have about ourselves. There are other couples where this is completely fine. And others where this is not done. It is about what we are comfortable with and what our boundaries are."
Amidst the debate, the 22-year-old later confirmed that the pair had split up over the 'miscommunication', despite talking through it together. She added: "We broke up. We talked and there was a miscommunication with the massage issue. He said he didn't see the text where I had explained. I didn't know it was a guy and I believe him. Sometimes emotions cloud your judgement and you don't see things clearly. I don’t think he’s this mean toxic abusive person. He wasn't perfect and so wasn't I."
Do you have a story to tell? Get in touch at lauren.haughey@reachplc.com
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The anonymous woman, aged 22, explained that she recently went for an appointment at her local spa to get a massage amidst a period of typical life stress. Although she went home feeling rejuvenated, she was surprised to find her 24-year-old boyfriend incredibly unhappy - all thanks to the gender of her masseuse.
"I assumed a girl was gonna do it because I've never seen a male worker there," the woman explained. "But I guess he's the only one that does massages, he's middle aged and I didn't get any creepy vibes so I just got my massage because I've been stressing over school and other things in life.
She continued in a post on Reddit: "I was supposed to give my bf a massage after he got off at work and he asked me 'did I learn anything from her?' and told him it was a man and I didn't learn anything. He got upset with me, telling me I knew that he was uncomfortable and still did what I wanted anyways.
"I think he's being dramatic and blowing it out of proportion. He makes it seem like I went to a random man's house for a massage, when I didn't even know it was gonna be a man till I got there." The 22-year-old's Reddit post was met with hundreds of stunned comments, with users conflicted over her boyfriend's reaction.
"I think he needs to calm down and get over it," one user said. "It was just a massage and nothing happened. Sounds like he's got trust issues." One also added: "Your boyfriend is too insecure to be in an adult relationship," while another chimed in: "If it was a professional massage at a legit professional massage place then it's on him. His insecurity. If you let a coworker or some dude massage you then yeah that's a boundary violation."
However, there were plenty of other users who sided with her boyfriend, with one writing: "There are a lot of women who are uncomfortable with their men getting massages from a woman, and vice versa. This is nothing new. You say you won't care - but you would truly know only when your bf gets a massage from a woman, and tells you after the fact. THAT is when you know how secure you are with that. Till then these are ideas we have about ourselves. There are other couples where this is completely fine. And others where this is not done. It is about what we are comfortable with and what our boundaries are."
Amidst the debate, the 22-year-old later confirmed that the pair had split up over the 'miscommunication', despite talking through it together. She added: "We broke up. We talked and there was a miscommunication with the massage issue. He said he didn't see the text where I had explained. I didn't know it was a guy and I believe him. Sometimes emotions cloud your judgement and you don't see things clearly. I don’t think he’s this mean toxic abusive person. He wasn't perfect and so wasn't I."
Do you have a story to tell? Get in touch at lauren.haughey@reachplc.com
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