PJ Contest

[MAgheewala]

Lets see who comes up with the best PJ

By saying Best, I mean the worst, But, if best is worst...then east is west:bleh:


Hehhe...anyways...this is an unofficial contest...just for TP.

Let the PJ's Begin!!!!hyeah:

 

[joshrules001]

two lizards were on a wall... One lizard starts singing... Nd as soon as the song finishes, second lizard falls down... Why?


Coz second one started clapping!

 

[uzezeuvbiyfivfedl]

Agar Tum 90 Times Paap Karoge Toh 45 Times Pakde Jaooge........
Why???????????


..
Because



.
Brace Yourself.



Sin 90 = Cot 45....

 

[Atlas]

Jst whack your brains a bit...........................................................Here we go..........

Q. Below is a 2x2 matrix. Do you remember the very beautiful song from Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikander.......??? Then go ahead.. Even otherwise you can give it a try ........


-------------------------------------------------------------------

pehla nasha pehla khumar ????????????????
?????????????? ????????????????

-------------------------------------------------------------------



The element in the 1st row, 1st column is 'pehla nasha pehla khumar'.


Can you tell me the values of other 3 elements of this matrix? (remember jo jeeta wahi sikander song ...)
..

.

.

.

Thinking of all the matrices you learnt ......
.




. fuhget it

.

.

.


Gave up??....... ok see below........

.

Ans:

The complete matrix is as shown below:
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pehla nasha pehla khumar pehla nasha dusara khumar
dusara nasha pehla khumar dusara nasha dusara khumar

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
:

 

[anetkudhifcizvexr]

All of you must have seen the Dev Anand mega hit film 'Guide'. In the film there is a famous song 'gaata rahe mera dil...' in which Waheeda Rehman wears a pink saree and throughout the song. So, when we have a trend of heroines changing clothes in every sequence, the big question is:

Why doesn't Waheda Rehman change her saree in the entire song?



The answer to this is simply amazing and no amount of head scratching will help you:



I BET U HAVE NOT COME ACROSS ANYTHING INTELLIGENT THAN THIS ...



come on try a bit



Try to think positive



scroll down


Come on think again .......



Come on try hard.....



And the answer is:

Because in the first stanza of the song, Dev Anand sings the following lines:

'O mere humrahi, meri bah thamen chalna, badle duniya 'SAREE', tum na badalna... "

 

[sgiortzb]

Ek baar ki baat hai......

Chantu aur Bantu khandala jaa rahe hote hain!!!!

unki caar kharab ho jaati hai.....

wo dono car wahiin chordh ker paidal chal padte hain!!!!

Raste mei ek surang aati hai....

chantu darr jaata hai...per bantu kehta hai..mai paar karke dikhaunga....

Per DUE TO UNAVAILABLITY OF TORCH....Bantu har baar takra kar wapas aa

jaata hai....

Tabhi chantu apnii jeb se DUS ka note nikalta hai....apne haath ko blade se

kaat ke..DUS ke note ko khoon mei bhigo leta hai......

aur aaram se surang paar kar jaata hai...~~~

abb mylord.!!!

sawaal ye uthta hai....

aakhir chantu ne surang paar kar kaise lii.....


kya wo alladin ka bichda hua bhaiee tha...............
.

ya fir...............nahi nahi..

.
chalo mein bol deta hun....

. chantu ne surang isliye paar kalii

.

.

. kyuki

.

uske paas LAAL-TEN THAAA!!!

 

[Diman]

Banta : Why did you buy your wife a huge diamond ring for her Birthday..

I thought she wanted a car.?

Santa : She did, but where in the world was I going to find a fake car?



Santa joined a new job.

1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.

Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.

Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I fixed it alright.



Doctor : You will die within 2 hours.

Do you want to see any one before you die?

Santa : Yes. A good doctor.

 

[myugenjin]

Ravan: Mai bhiksha dedo

Lady: Ye Lo swami

Ravan: Is rekha ke ispaar aake do

(She crosses)

Ravan: HaHaHa mai Bhikshuk nahi hoon!! Ravan hoon!!

Lady: HaHaHa

Lady: mai bhi Seeta nahi hoon, kaamwaali baai hoon !!

 

[songsjosiah]

Sardar declares: I will never marry in my life & I'll give same advice to my children also. . . . .

============ ========= ========= ========= ==


SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.

1ST: biwi se.....

2ND: itne... pyar se....?

1ST: tumhari hai. . .


============ ========= ========= ========= ===

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away


sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.


============ ========= ========= ========= ===


SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.


1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.


2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.


3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.


4.Threat:When I am on tour


============ ========= ========= ========


sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.


Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml


now it's 1.5 ltr.


============ ========= ========= =====


On Jeeto's bday


Sardar had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.


When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank manager.


============ ========= ========= ========


teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times


sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara


============ ========= ========= ======


Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.


Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....


============ ========= ========= ========= ===


Santa went to mysore palace.


Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair


Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up wen he comes.!!..

 

[Madd-e]

Once upon a time in a jungle there was a lioness.
But she was unhappy with her life because she was very ugly.Koi bhi lion usko ghaas nahi daalta tha.
But the lioness had one speciality..She was very good at hunting..One of the best hunters in the jungle..One day while hunting, the lioness caught hold of an old rabbit.
As soon as she was about to kill the rabbit the rabbit pleaded her to spare his life and in return he promised to give the lioness anything she wanted.
The lioness gave it a thought and then she finally agreed.She told the rabbit that if he can tell her a way by which she can become a beauty queen, she will spare his life.
On hearing this the old wise rabbit pointed towards a nearby hill.On top of it was a large rock.The view from the rock was magnificent.The rabbit told the lioness to go and sit on top of the rock and all her problems will be solved..
The lioness thought the rabbit was bluffing her.So she took the rabbit along with her to the rock and gave it a try...And to her surprise It worked!!..
Suddenly all the lions were noticing her and she received many proposals for date.
She thanked the rabbit for her favour and the rabbit breathed a sigh of relief and hopped away safely to his house..

Now the question is...How did the rabbit solve the problem for the lioness?


arey answer kya dhoond rahe ho..atleast give it a try.


give up?

Ok heres the answer :- When the lioness sat on the rock she became (SherOn Stone)

 

[Pompal 09.]

A man on his bike enters a very dense forest after an hour he see a MORE(peacock) and it was smilling at him, he feels a bit weird and moves on, this happens on 2 to 3 occasions and it happens exactly after an hour, he thinks that he is riding froma long time so he is just seeing this things due to his tiredness
so can u tell me why is this happening??????????????


Think think think.........


Because that man is riding on " TVS Victor - More smiles per hour"

 

[iambettyboop]

ARZ kiya hai......... .........
-

Shaam Jawan hai......

-

Aur Ghanshaam Major hai......

 

[RitchWilliams]

Question : You are in a boat in the middle of a river.
You have 2
Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You
don't have anything
else with you in the boat....how will you do it?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water.
So the boat will
become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light
the other
Cigarette.
?
?
Want?another deadly answer. Scroll down a little.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aother solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch
it. Catches win
Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light
the cigarette.
?
?
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
scroll down....
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Take water in your hand and drop it drop by
drop...(TIP - TIP)

"TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee. us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".


If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
scroll down
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get
jealous & "jalney lagega" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Martin G]

1. A cow standing on the road keeps shouting 'F'... 'F'...

Why???
Because F=ma ( Newton 's Second Law )

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2. A boy throws a bottle of Bournvita out of the window. A cat sees it, and takes the bottle of bournvita and buries it under the ground. Why?

Because 'CAT-BURIES' Bournvita
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. Who is called female Java?

Java'Gal' Srinath
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4. 3 cockroaches are walking on the road. Suddenly 1 of them starts singing 'Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam...' And the other 2 die immediately. Why?

Because it was a HIT song.

 

[npbbdmjr]

Holi ke din ek chota sa kutta bhaunk raha tha...nobody could understand why
Achanak uspar koi hara rang gira deta hai...he immediately stops barking
and starts talking! batao kyon?


socho socho

Nahin pata?

agar pata laga liya to bhi koi badi baat nahin

ok...bahut paka liya ab suno

kyonki hara rang girne par wo puppy papihara ban gaya...
aur wo gaana to suna hi hoga...boley re papihara...papihara

 

[Odd Boy]

why Manmohan singh goes walking in the evening and not
in the morning. ??


scroll down for the answer

"Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".

 

[leonmcartorasawyernw]

:::

 

[Sophocles]

Bas kar yaar Aaaj ke liye bahut hai :

 

[papaw]

Okies... Stoppd fer now...


Now the readers: If any of de above PJs made u laughing, u owe me a rep and/or donation and/or gifts...

 

[juranvdx]

Santa Di Intelligence



There was this news that 200 sardars are killed in a train accident at the station. Only one Sardar left alive.

The correspondent goes to the Sardarji and the conversation between them goes as follows: Correspondent: How did this happen?

Sardarji: Well, all the 200 people were waiting for the train. They were standing on the platform. Then there was this announcement that the train is arriving on platform number 2. They got scared to know that the train is arriving on the platform and hence they jumped onto the tracks to save themselves, The announcement was misleading the train arrived on the track and you can see the result.

Correspondent: Well, I guess, you must be the intelligent Sardarji. Why did you not jump onto the tracks?

Sardarji: I was actually trying to commit suicide. I was waiting for the train on the tracks. When I heard that the train is arriving on the platform, I climbed up.

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

Son to sardarji: Today I ran behind the bus and saved Rs 3.

Sardarji to son: You fool, if you would have ran behind an auto, you could have saved Rs 30!!!.

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

Once this guy visits his Sardarji friend he notices that his wall clock is not working and it looks beyond repairs.

Dost: Tu naya ghadi kyun nahin le leta?
Sardar: kyun? ye abhi bhi kaam aata hai

Dos : Kaise?
Sardar: Yaar.... din mein do baar to sahi time dikhata hai!